Better In Time
by AnonymousJJ
Summary: After a breakup with her ex, Ana's family decides to take her on a trip. Will she be left alone with her thoughts or will she find someone who takes her mind off her troubles?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: Black Tears

_**Black tears, rolling down,  
From the eyes of an angel in a  
sinners town,  
If all the pain would just disappear  
She'd quit cryin' Black tears**_

xxxxx

'_Baby, I'm home!' no answer..that's weird. 'Liam! Come on babe, we gotta get ready to go! My parents are waiting for us at the restaurant.' As I make my way through the house, every room I've walked out of has become dark like its no longer there. Just as I turn to head into our bedroom, I hear a sound I never wanted to hear...ever. I see her clothes in the hallway, I hear her laugh coming from MY bedroom, which can only mean they are in there. How could they do this to me? I go to open the door but I can't see anything, it's too bright_.

I wake up to the light streaming in my room and I can't even seem to enjoy it because of the horrible night that I had. We've been in Mexico for two weeks now and as much as I've been trying to have fun, I just can't seem to let go. I think I've cried every night we've been here, but it hurts so much. I know my best friend Mads is worried about me, she's doing her best but no one ever said a break up was easy, especially if you caught them cheating. I still remember that day, I mean, obviously if they haunt my dreams. Liam had asked me to marry him and we were supposed to meet up with my family to share the news, but instead, I found him in bed with her. She was supposed to be my friend. She was always so sweet and innocent, but I soon found out that Laurel was anything BUT those things. Apparently they had been sneaking behind my back for months. I'm so pathetic and stupid. As I'm wallowing in self pity, I hear a pounding on the door.

'Anastasia Rose, I know you are awake so get your ass out here. It's intervention time young lady, so don't keep us waiting!' I hear Mads say. I can't help but roll my eyes, I know she means well but really? I sigh as I throw the covers off and get dressed to enter into the wrath of my family. Sure enough, as I open the door, the room is full of everyone. Besides Mads, I'm the only other single one which makes it harder, but I love them all, and I'm so glad they stuck by me through it all especially since me and Liam hung out with all the same people.

'Looky, looky, she lives!' Nixon, one of my brothers, says and I just glare at him. 'Ana, I know it's hard but please, you need to let go and have fun! Ma and pa would be hurt if they knew their money was going to waste. They just want their princess happy, and if I have to drag you out of this room by your hair, kicking and screaming than I will!'

I come from a big family, I'm the youngest of five kids and the only girl if you can believe that! My parents were awfully busy considering I'm 21 and my oldest brother is 31. Daniel is the oldest followed by the twins, Nixon and Chase, and than Sean. Being the only girl has it's advantages, I'm spoiled rotten and my brothers always protect me, hence why I never had a boyfriend until I was 19. Ugh, two years I wasted with that asshole, I still can't get over it.

'Ana, are you going to say anything?' Sean says. 'Okay, so I know you guys are worried about me and I really appreciate it.' I start, 'but I'm fine...'

'Dont you dare saying that you are fucking fine Anastasia! You are anything but fine and tonight you have no choice but to get dressed up because we have signed you up for the hotels talent show tonight.' Chase says and I know he is serious. I've always been closer with him and he has always been the most protective. 'You are going to get your ass up there and you are going to sing your heart out. Don't give me that look missy, just look at it as a form if therapy! Grab your shit, we are going to the beach and you can write a brand new fucking song for all I care but you are doing as your told!'

I can't help but look at my brother shocked, he hasn't talked to me like that since I was 16 and he was trying to teach me how to drive. I look around the room and see everyone's eyes on me, Mads and Lucy look the most worried about my reaction. 'Alright than, you assholes, lets go to the beach. But if I embarrass myself tonight, your all to blame!'

xxxxx

A few hours, sexy pink bikini, lots of booze and one song later, I start feeling better. I was watching everyone having fun in the water but I was enjoying my lounger way too much to join. 'What person in their right mind would leave a beautiful girl like you all by yourself?' I look up to see a very handsome blonde man standing at my feet. Before I can answer, Daniel comes running up to see if I'm okay. 'Elliott?! Oh my god man, I didn't know you were here!'

'Danny, fuck man, it's been ages! What are you doing here?' The blonde, Elliott, says, as they shake hands. 'Im actually here with a bunch of people. Lucy is down there with everyone else, and I see you've met my little sister, Ana. Sis, Elliott and I went to college together. I actually met Lucy through him!' Danny says.

'Nice to meet you Elliott,' I say as I stand from my chair. 'I feel sorry for you if you were stuck with this old brute.' They both laugh. 'I will leave you two to catch up. Danny, can you let Mads know that I'm gonna head up to our room and start getting for tonight. Elliott, was a pleasure.' As I'm walking away, I notice there's a spring in my step. Elliott was the first guy since Liam and I split to one, have the balls to hit on me and two, tell me I'm beautiful. That does something to a girl even if nothing comes from it.

As I'm picking my outfit for the night, I'm doing everything I can to keep the tears at bay. I'm sick of scrubbing the mascara off my face every time and I think I've cried enough to last me a lifetime. Tonight I show off a new Ana. One that doesn't need a man to be happy, all I have is right infront of me. He's my past, and my future looks even brighter without him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Lovebird

I can hear everyone in the living room of our hotel and it makes me realize just how close we are to show time. I try to give myself a pep talk but I really don't know if I can do this, I've never sung infront of big crowds before just our family. I stand infront of the mirror admiring my outfit. A pink pencil skirt paired with a black bra under a lace top. The shoes are the killer though, a gift from my mama for Christmas, haven't worn them but they are getting attention tonight! In the middle of my pep talk, I see my brother come to join me.

'Hey baby girl, how you doing?' Danny says. 'You look beautiful, Ana. I'm so proud of you for doing this you know that right?' I can't help but smile up at my big brother.

'Yes, I know. I'm just nervous. Can I really go through with it?' He sees the hesitation in my eyes and just wraps me up in a bear hug I've loved since I was three. All my brothers have their own special traits. Danny has always been the loving one, Nixon cares but was always too busy with the girls to really spend any time with me. Chase and I are the closest and share everything, I hide no secrets but couldn't even if I did try. Sean..well, he's Sean. He's the partier of the family but he's who I go to when I need to unwind and he always helps.

'Come on An, lets go! We are all here to support you no matter what! Your my baby sister and I won't let anyone throw tomatoes at you if you suck.'

I laugh and smack him, 'D, dont be surprised if I choke up on that stage. I've never had to share what's in my heart before.' I tell him. He just gives me a smile and pulls me out of the room. 'Okay guys, I'm ready, lets get this show on the road!'

xxxxx

We make our way into the lounge of the hotel, I can't believe how packed it is. I start to turn around but Mads grabs me, 'I don't think so hunny! You are doing this and you are going to be great! Look, we will go get you signed in and than we will have some drinks.' I can't shake this nervous feeling, and now to make matters worse, I feel like someone is watching me. I take a quick scan of the room before stopping at the table. 'Well well, Ana. Didn't get enough of me earlier?'

'Elliott, hey! Umm, Mads, this is Elliott. I met him earlier at the beach and he's friends with Danny.' They shake hands and I can see that their eyes are glued to each other so I clear my throat. 'Im here to sign in for the contest these assholes got me into. Where do I go?' Elliott finally looks at me.

'Right here, sweetheart. Did they tell you anything about it?' I just shake my head. 'Okay than! Well, my record company is looking for new talent. If I go home without finding at least one person here my brother will have my balls on a platter. So, sign here, and unfortunately, since you were a late addition, you are last but you know what they say about that.' he winks at me.

'Gotcha, gives me time to work on my nerves,' I laugh. 'Come on Maddy, lets get us some drinks.' We sit at the bar for the majority of the show, laughing at all the people who think they can sing. It's almost like watching the auditions of American Idol. Poor bastards. I still feel eyes on me, but I guess that's expected in a crowd this size. Just wait half an hour, I tell myself. 'Hey Mads, I'm just gonna run to the bathroom real quick.' She nods and says, 'hurry love, this person is almost done and than its your turn!' I'm surprised I don't fall flat on my face as I rush to the bathroom than back to the bar. Just as I reach my bestie, I see Elliott get up on the stage.

'Alright ladies and gentlemen. On behalf of Grey Records, I want to thank you all for being here tonight, and to all the amazing people who have sang so far. We have one final contestant before we are done for the night. Please welcome the talented Anastasia!'

I make my way to the stage while everyone cheers. 'Thank you so much! I'm a little nervous as you can probably tell. I'm going to sing a song that I wrote, I hope you like it.'

_I will lay down next to you  
Stay in bed all afternoon  
We were birds of a feather  
We were always together  
And I never will forget  
All the little things you said  
And that beautiful summer  
You used to call me your love bird._

_But the time went on  
The wind has blown  
And I have grown  
And I started a feeling  
That my wings have been broken_

_And I can't believe that I would ever want to be set free  
But I just can't stay_

_So your love bird's flying away  
Your love bird's flying away  
'Cause my heart's been stuck in a cage  
Gotta sing my song so pretty, dum dum diddy  
And I'll miss you everyday  
'Cause there's nothing left to say  
Gotta sing my song so pretty, dum dum diddy_

_I want the world at my feet  
Even if it's bittersweet  
I wanna stand on my own and  
Hold my heart in my own hands.  
'Cause I've begun to see  
That you and me  
Are different breeds.  
So I gotta be leaving,  
Gotta get back to breathing_

As the music dies down, everyone starts cheering while my family stands there with shocked faces. I barely make my way off the stage before Lucy and Mads grab me in a hug. 'Oh my god Ana, that was amazing! I've heard you sing before but nothing like that!' Lucy states. 'Thanks Luc, I wrote that this afternoon. It made me me feel better, especially considering I haven't written a song since before the breakup.' I get passed around my brothers before I see him. Standing by the bar is the most gorgeous man I have ever seen in my life. I'm so interested in him that I don't listen to anything anyone says to me, I barely even register Elliott up on the stage. I'm lost in the gray eyes that are burning into my own blues.

xxxxx

CPOV

I hate being the owner of some things, mainly this stupid record company that Elliott just absolutely needed. Normally I try to avoid it as much as possible but when Ell came to me saying he was heading to Mexico on some talent search, I figured I would tag along. Needing a change of scenery and people definitely played a big part in it but the fact that me and bitch face broke up, I knew a week of drinking myself stupid infront of girls barely dressed would help lift my sprits.

We were walking on the beach when I first saw her. Her tiny tanned body that stood out next to her bikini. What I could do to her, just picturing it is making my dick hard. 'Earth to Christian! Yo, dude, wake up!'

'Huh? Did you say something Elliot?' I got so lost in my daydream, I forgot I was around him. Shit!

'We were talking about tonight, bro! If I find someone tonight than we can head home.' For some reason I still can't take my eyes off her and Ell finally notices. He laughs, 'dude, go talk to her! I saw her earlier with some other hot chick, so if you don't make a move, I will.'

'Lelliott, I can't. You can call me a chicken shit or a baby or whatever the fuck kind of other names you got swimming around that small brain of yours, but I can't. Not right now anyways. Fuck man, I've been standing here staring at her for the last 15 minutes. What the hell is wrong with me? Before, I wouldn't have wasted a second!' I feel like such a tool, the two timing slut has ruined me. This is why I don't open up to people for fucks sakes! 'I'm going to get a drink, I will meet you in the room.'

I see Ell go up to the brown haired beauty, makes me wish I had a pair of fucking balls right now. Fuck! I'm such a pussy! I try to convince myself to go over there, and just as I'm about to I see a big dude walk up to them. Does she have a boyfriend? Hasn't stopped any other girl before, seems all they care about is the next dick that's walking in the room.

I decide I can't take any more and storm to my room to shower and get ready for the stupid talent show. There's gotta be at least one girl down there who will just let me fuck her senseless and than leave. I finish getting ready and walk to the mini bar to make myself a drink as my brother comes in.

'Christian, man, you will not believe who I ran into on the beach! Danny fucking Steele! Remember that hottie you were staring at? That's his little sister! Him and Lucy are here with her and the rest of the clan.' he says.

'Really? I haven't seen them boys since Harvard.' Me and Nixon were on the rowing team together, and I met Danny through Elliott at one of their parties. I remember at one of our races, he was standing next to some little girl with braces and glasses...apparently that little girl grew up into a beautiful butterfly. 'Are they going to be there tonight? Would be nice to catch up with Nix.'

'Oh they will be there alright! Apparently sweet cheeks broke up with her boyfriend, that's why everyone brought her here, to cheer her up. They signed her up for the show tonight.'

xxxxx

Since Elliott heads down before me, I decide to check in with Ros and make sure things are flowing smoothly. No hiccups at work, house is still standing and family is alive, my work is done. Just as I step out of the elevator, I see her. With the outfit she's wearing, she definitely knows she's hot, she has almost every guy in this room staring at that delectable ass. I try not to seem like a creeper so I head to the bar than after getting my drinks, head over to my brother. For the next how many fucking hours, I have to sit here and be tortured by people who think they can sing. My brother really owes me for this!

The two words I would use to describe the last two hours...excruciatingly painful! I feel like my eardrums are about to burst. These people actually think they can sing? Are they deaf? Like, fuck me! 'Ell, I'm gonna go get a drink, want one?' I ask my brother. 'No thanks C, we got one more person and I have faith that this might be the one!' as he stalks away to the stage with a shit eating grin plastered on his face.

I don't pay attention to anything on my way to the bar until I hear her voice, the voice of an angel. I turn around and I see it's her and I'm entranced. I can't seem to tear my eyes away, even when she's done singing and made her way off the stage. I've never heard a voice like hers before and the moment she turns and spots me with those beautiful blue eyes, I have to get her, I have to know her.

**_Song: Lovebird - Leona Lewis_**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the delay, had alot going on the last little while and unfortunately it's only going to get busier but I will do my best to update when I can! I usually have something pop in my head when I hear a song, it's the same as when your reading a book and you picture the story unfolding (at least I do), a song is also a story being told.**

Chapter Three: Tonight I'm Getting Over You

**No more crying  
To get me through  
I'll keep dancing till the morning with somebody new  
Tonight I'm getting over you**

APOV

I'm lost. I can't move. What is this man doing to me? It feels like hours have passed before I notice him making his way over to us. All my senses but sight have disappeared, I don't even realize Lucy is talking to me until she stands infront.

'Annie? You okay sweetie? You look like you need to sit down.'

'Uh..no, sorry I'm ok. Just gapped out for a second I guess.' I reply with a smile. She just laughs. 'Annie, you've been standing there staring for like ten minutes, have you not heard anything that's gone on?' I shake my head no. 'Elly said that the show is over and he will contact whoever wins, but I think we all know who that will be,' she adds a wink, 'now! We are all going to celebrate since we head back on Sunday. Come on, I want you to meet someone.'

Apparently I was standing there for a while, I didn't even notice that everyone is now sitting waiting for me. 'Shes back to the land of the living! Nice to see you again, sissy, come sit and I will get you a drink.' Chase snickers. 'Screw you asshat. I will go get my own drink.' As I make my way to the bar, I feel someone come up behind me, but for once I don't feel uncomfortable and as I turn around I notice why.

'I figured since I needed a drink as well, I would join you. Names Christian, you must be Anastasia.' His voice just oozes sexy and I instantly feel the pool between my legs.

'Uh yeah, but you can all me Ana. What's your poison? My treat.' Giving him my best smile, and from the look of desire in his eyes, it won't take much for me to get what I want from this handsome man.

We end up sitting at the bar forever just talking. He tells me about his childhood and business while I tell him about what its like growing up with four older brothers. He laughs, 'you would probably get along great with my sister. She couldn't come because of work but hopefully you can meet her when you get home.'

You can see the love he has for her in his eyes and it melts my heart to see. 'When did you an Elliott let her start dating? God, mine didn't let me until college, and even then I had to hide it from them for the longest time. Every time a boy would come up to me in school, my brothers were there or heard about it. Danny was the only one who left me alone in college. If it wasn't for Mads, I'm sure I would still be a fucking virgin...oh my god, I can't believe I just said that.' I was so embarrassed that I buried my face in my hands.

'Why are you hiding?' as he pulls my hands away, 'nothing to be ashamed of, at least you have some standards. I mean, I'm sure your brothers didn't help but they are always going to look out for you. As for Mia, she's always been one to not care what anyone thinks. She's the definition of princess, she has Elliott wrapped around her finger, always has. It's me that she has to worry about but I would never get in the way of her being happy. She's the same with me though, and after the latest drama...anyways, she may be the youngest but she is a force to be reckoned with.'

'Why did you go all distant on me, Grey?' We were having such a great talk, than all I saw was anger and hurt pass through his eyes.

'Oh..nothing.'

'Dont give me that crap! Spill...bartender, another round and line up the shots please! I have a feeling we are going to need these.' He's just staring at me, 'look, you tell me, I tell you. Or, I can start if that will make it easier but you will talk to me.'

'Fine, but this doesn't go past us. Only my brother and sister know, hence why I'm here. I was dating this girl when I found out she had been cheating on me. We had been together for about 5 years, I had the ring and everything when I came home from work that day. I had dinner planned, but as I walked in the door I saw her stuff sitting there and she was waiting on the stairs, looked like she had been crying. When she started spewing off lies about how she always has and always will love me I told her to get the fuck out.

'She finally admitted that it had been going on for a couple months, that her and I lost that spark over the years. Honestly, I stopped listening. I couldn't handle my heart breaking any more. So, I turned to booze when Elliott and Mia came over and told me to pack my shit because I was taking a little trip, and here I am. I haven't talked to her or seen her since and it's been about a month, but apparently her and the douche bag are together. Kind of pathetic if you ask me.'

I just sit there staring at him, his story is identical to mine. I decide this is just too weird and take 3 shots of tequila at once. 'Um, Ana, you sure that's a good idea?'

I laugh, 'your going to be doing the same thing once I tell you my story, Grey, just you wait. So, the first and only boyfriend I've ever had, we'd been together for two years, proposed to me one night. Was the happiest night of my life. I won't say best, because well...honestly, this right here is the best night I've had in a long time,' I shoot him a smile which he returns. 'I had noticed a slight change every time I would bring up the fact of telling our parents. I came home from work early that day because we were supposed to be having dinner with mine and that's when I knew something was off. I walked in the door calling for him but he didn't answer. Than I saw the trail of clothes leading from my kitchen table - eww by the way, I ATE off that thing.

'Anyways, I could hear laughing coming from our room. I opened the door and that's when I saw them on my bed. MY bed, don't take the slut to the spare room or a fucking hotel, but my bed. Fuck was I mad, that was the best bed I've ever had, needless to say I let the bastard keep it. I had actually worked with the girl and we had become pretty close, which hurt quite a bit that she would betray my trust. But, shit happens and life goes on right? Karmas a bitch and she always gets her revenge, in this case, my names karma! He had the balls to tell me he never loved me and he only proposed because I wouldn't stop hounding him for a ring, which was the biggest load of crap that ever came out of his mouth. When I took my ring off and threw it at him, it cut his forehead, fuck did I laugh. She never left the whole time him and I talked, I packed what I could and left. I haven't seen or him from him since either which makes me very happy. I found out from Chase, who I think threatened him with his balls but I'm not sure, that same as your ex, mine had been doing it for a couple months. So, I got drug here by those nosy assholes because my parents were worried about me and whatever Ray and Carla want, Ray and Carla get, especially if it's to keep their children happy.'

It was than his turn to take the shots that were lined up at the bar. 'Well, aren't we just one emotionally fucked up pair! Cheers!'

We sit there for another hour before Elliott and Mads come to check on us. 'Well, don't you two look cozy over here. Obviously you haven't bored each other to death yet, so when you gonna go fuck and relieve the rest of us from the sexual tension radiating off you guys?' Elliott laughs.

'Fuck..'

'Actually, I was thinking if heading up to my room now, and I could use some company. That's if your up for a little fun, Christian.' Apparently tequila makes my mouth speak before my brain can even register what's happened. Before anyone can say anything, I grab his hand and run for the elevator.

This is going to be fun.


	4. Chapter 4

**I was trying to get this out the other day but we had company show up, and since we are going away for the weekend, I wanted to give a little treat. I really am not that great at writing lemons so I apologize in advance! I will try to update as soon as we are home!**

Chapter Four: Running Out Of Air

**You're hitting me like a wave  
You cover me in the crash  
I'm drowning in what you say  
It's takin' me under fast**  
**As you're taking me down the hall  
You make it easy for me to forget  
'Cause you're saying everything  
You know I want you to say  
And I'm getting in deeper the darker it gets  
And The lights go out as the surface fades  
Everybody's got somebody  
Who gets them the way you got me  
You got me right where you want me**

xxxxx

CPOV

'Actually, I was thinking if heading up to my room now, and I could use some company. That's if your up for a little fun, Christian.'

She grabs my hand before I can say anything but I don't think I could if my brain allowed it. Luck must be on our side because as we make our way to the elevator, there's an empty one waiting. Once inside I can't wait anymore and push her up against the wall. I can hear her breath catch as she looks at me with lust in her eyes, and before I can do anything, she brings her mouth to mine. That kiss is nothing like I've ever felt before, it's full of want as our tongues dance together.

'Do you share a room or do you have your own?' I ask her. 'I have my own thank god! I want you to fuck me, Christian, and judging from the huge bulge in your pants, we are on the same page.'

I let out a groan and push her against the wall with my hips just to show her how bad I actually want it. She moans which only makes me want her more and I'm glad when the elevator finally stops. 'Come on baby, before I end up fucking you in here and I would rather not have everyone else see what should only be for my eyes.'

We practically run down the hall to Ana's room and as soon as the door is open, I have her up against the wall again, taking her mouth in mine. 'Ana, baby, I don't know how much longer I can wait so this one is going to be fast, but I promise I will make it up to you. All night if I have to.'

'Okay,' she breaths.

That's all I need as I reach under her skirt and rip her panties off than swing her legs around my hips. 'Oh baby, you are so wet! Are you ready for me?' Her beautiful eyes gaze into mine, 'yes, Christian, please...I want you so bad. Please fuck me before I explode.'

Well, don't have to tell me twice! With that, I slam my hard dick into her, 'Ana, you are so tight, my god baby! Your going to end up milking my cock before we've even begun!' She lets out the cutest giggle, 'Christian, you feel so good. Harder, babe...oh fuck..'

This girl wants it harder, so that's what I give her. 'Im not going to last much longer, Ana.' I breathe as I pound into her, feeling her muscles tighten around me. 'Fuck baby...I want you to cum for me Ana, I want you to cum all over my cock.' Apparently that's all she needed to hear before she explodes all over me and that causes my undoing. I've been with my share of women before but never have I ever felt like this. I don't think I knew it could feel this good. I knew this woman, from the second I saw her, would captivate me in some way, I just never imagined it to be this fast.

I'm not just thinking this because of who her brothers are, but from talking to her I knew she was one that needed romance, love, and especially trust. Maybe I can be the one to give her all those things, I hope she gives me, us, a chance.

APOV

Oh my sweet fucking Jesus, what the hell was that? Even though I've only been with one guy, Liam has NEVER made me feel that way before. Grey is a whole different breed, he knows what I want even before I do. And throwing me up against the wall? I think that made me wetter than I was before. Ex-douche was always about 'basics', we ever experimented, never strayed far from the bedroom. But, in the couple hours that I've known Christian, I've considered either fucking or blowing him in an elevator...an ELEVATOR for crying out loud. Little Anastasia does not do public, but this sex on legs...he makes me feel things I never knew existed. And that orgasm? Mind blowing!

'I think you owe me a pair of panties, Grey. That happened to be my favorite pair.' I fake a pout which makes him laugh.

'Baby girl, I will buy you a whole fucking panty store if I have to, especially after that little teaser.' He finally pulls out of me and puts me on the ground. 'I don't know about you, but I'm starving,' I say, 'How about some room service and we can chat before you ravish me again.'

'I believe it was you who drug me up here, miss. Should I be worried about being tied to the bed and being made into your sex slave?'

My breathing catches, 'I won't need to tie you up, but if the sex with you is always going to be that amazing, than you can tie me and keep me for as long as you desire.' Before I know it, he has me laying on the couch, his mouth covering my own. 'Ana, if you keep talking like that than I don't think we will ever leave this room, I could take you again right now.'

'So do it,' I answer, 'I dare you.' I see his eyes go a shade darker and I feel myself get wetter. If I was wearing any underwear, I would be in need of a new pair that's for damn sure!

'A date, Miss Steele? I should inform you that I always follow through. Oh, and I can see that your ready for me again, this is going to be a fun night.' And sure enough, our night was full of it, I think I finally passed out at dawn in the arms of this beautiful man. The only issue with that is, I can see myself falling for him. What am I going to do?


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter, the name of C's ex is revealed (in case some haven't figured it out yet lol) I was having a bit of a hard time because the chapters I wrote, didn't have her name but I would almost spill! It might be a couple more chapters until both A & C reveal who the exes are to each other, but drama is coming! **

Chapter Five: Fix Me

**I** **finally feel I can turn the page  
Feel like my worlds about to change  
and I want to do it again, do it again**

xxxxx

CPOV

I've been laying in this bed for the last two hours watching the beautiful girl sleep. I don't want to leave her but Elliott called to let me know something was up with Mia and the plane would be leaving in an hour. I decide to head down to my room but before I go, I spot her cell sitting on the night table. I enter my number into it and hope she sees it to get ahold of me. The last thing I want is thinking this was a one time thing, because I would love nothing more than to have her every night for the rest of my life.

Where did that come from? Jesus Christ, I just met this girl and already she has an extreme power over me. The sex last night, and this morning, was incredible. Even Laurel couldn't keep up with me like that, hell, she couldn't keep up with me in alot of things. I think her cheating on me was one of the best things she ever did. Even though it left me with a broken heart, I found my sweet Anastasia. If I knew who her ex was, I would probably beat him within an inch of his life just for treating such a beautiful girl the way he did. She doesn't deserve that, I hope she gives me a chance to show her what she really deserves.

As I walk into my room, my brother is sitting on the couch. 'And where do you think you've been young man? I have been waiting up for you all night!' Good thing I knew he was kidding, but he added a booming laugh just because. 'Fuck off bro! I hope whatever happened with Mia is bad because she just made me leave the most amazing girl. Elliott, thank you!'

He looks shocked...maybe it's because I never say it? Eh, maybe I should start saying it more often. I laugh, 'I'm serious! If you hadn't forced me to come on this trip, than I wouldn't have met Ana, and because I know how your brain works, you wouldn't have met her friend. There's something about her thats different from the others. When we were talking last night, I found out that she's been through basically the same thing as me. When I found out Laurel was cheating on me, I was pissed, hell, I was furious! I wanted nothing more than to find the scumbag that took her from me and ruin his life. But when Ana told me about her ex, sure I felt angry, but I was more pissed that some guy could do that to her and not feel bad about it. I wanted to find out who this guy was and beat him within an inch of his life. What is wrong with me bro? I barely know this girl and yet in the last 24 hours, she's all I've thought about, and not in short term either.'

'Christian, that's not completely a bad thing. She's a sweet girl and I know you would treat her right. But because of what you have been through, I want you to be careful, don't fall too easily. I'm saying this because I'm your big brother and I care about you. I don't want you to end up where you were with the slut. Your better than that and you definitely deserve better. Now, I can't do this sappy shit anymore, grab your stuff and lets get the show on the road. I hope the princess isn't just overreacting again.'

'Oh whatever Elliott, that girls got you wrapped around her finger. If she said she broke a nail, you would go running and do or spend whatever you could to make her stop crying.' He smacks me on the arm as we walk out of the room. I hope Ana gets ahold of me when she gets home. I can't wait to see her again, and this time I will take her on the best date she's ever had.

APOV

Oh, my head! I don't know who's idea it was to get drunk last night but they will definitely be hearing from Bitchy Ana today! I don't even know if I can open my eyes; this is going to be so painful! Slow as molasses, they open and I start scanning the room. Nothing seems out of the ordinary...woah! Why am I naked?! Fuck, this cannot be good!

I decide to jump in the shower before I go find everyone for breakfast and we have to head to the airport. It's sad that the trip is over, not really wanting to go back to reality, especially Seattle. Ugh, the thought of running into Liam or Laurel makes my blood burn but I know I can't avoid them forever. Fuck, even in the shower I can't escape my thoughts.

Just as I walk into my room, I see Mads sitting on the bed waiting for me. 'Where did you disappear to last night, Steele? We figured you and McHottie would come back downstairs after your..ahem..fun.' she laughs.

'Oh my god Maddy! Who was I with last night? I don't remember coming up here. The last thing I remember is sitting at the bar with...oh fuck...' I can feel my eyes go big. 'I cannot believe I had a one night stand, and with him! I am so embarrassed no wonder why he wasn't here this morning, he must feel the same way. Mads, I've never done this before, please tell me the guys don't know!'

'Oh no, hunny, they know! And they couldn't be prouder, which is pretty surprising. Nix was a little worried because he's known Christian since college apparently, but Elliott kept reassuring him you were in good hands. And judging from the shape of the bed, not alot of sleep was had.'

'It was the best sex...ever! The things that man can do would make a porn star blush. Lets just say I won't be needing the gym for a while, every inch of my body was worshipped by that god. Just sucks that he wasn't here when I woke up, now I don't know when I will be seeing him again.'

Mads looks at me with a hint of sadness in her eyes, 'yeah, they headed home early. Something to do with their sister I think? I wasn't really paying attention.'

I notice her blush, 'and why, Miss Mercer, are you blushing? And how do you know they had to leave early?'

'I may or may not have spent the night with the other Mr Grey. Ana, I think I'm in love! He wants me to call him when I get home, that's a good thing right?' I smile, 'of course hunny, I'm so happy for you!'

The rest of the morning passes by too fast, but I can't help but wonder if I will ever see Christian again. He never even left a note...or a number. Maybe that's all I was to him was a one night stand. I sigh to myself as I sit back in my seat on the plane. Yet another guy who's gotten into my head, I just hope I can forget this one before I get hurt.


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm not overly happy with this but I think I've changed it enough times; hoping to get the second half up tonight!**

Chapter Six: Buzzkill

**I** **used to do everything I could do to do nice things,  
No matter what I did or didn't do it didn't change.  
Everybody knows you ended us.  
So why you showing up here on my side of the tracks?  
Slipping in this bar just to check out where I'm at,  
I was a six pack in, now I'm as sober** **as a judge**

xxxxx

One week...

One very long...very excruciating week. Why haven't I heard from him? Was I really that bad that he never wanted to talk to me again? Ugh, so many questions that just leave me even more pissed off. Mads has been spending time with Elliott, yet he never gets brought up.

'Ana, come on girl, we are going out tonight.' Lucy says as she comes into my room, interrupting my thoughts.

'I dunno, Luc, I'm too blah to face the real world.' I see her narrow her eyes and give me the infamous Goforth stare.

'Anastasia, you have always been my favorite person in the world but if you don't get your ass in that bathroom and make yourself presentable, I will drag you out the way you are dressed right now. Not even caring if your kicking and screaming. Oh! And I will disown you!' As I look down and notice I'm in my flannel pajamas...yeah, definitely not going out like this.

'Okay, give me half an hour and I will meet you in the living room. Who else is coming?'

'Danny, Mads, Ell and Chase. We are just going down to the sports bar so nothing too fancy love!'

xxxxx

As we make our way into the bar, I notice people staring at me. 'Maddy, do I have something on my face? Why is everyone staring at me?'

'Ana, did you not look in the mirror before we left? You look smokin' hot, girl!' I basically threw on the first outfit I came across; dark skinny jeans with a tight tank top, half leather jacket than paired with my favorite black Jimmy Choo Esam heels. Dark but subtle makeup and hair in a lose braid to the side, I guess I look good, but I'm not trying to impress anyone. When I get in my moods, I try to dress the best because it boosts my confidence, I could care less what anyone else thinks.

We make our way to the table, and before I know it I'm having a blast. I'm finally getting enough guts to talk to Elliott when I notice everyone around the table go quiet but before I can answer, I smell trouble before it speaks.

'Well hello, Annie. Surprise seeing you here, but looking hot as always.'

'Liam. I'd say I'm happy to see you, but I would be lying. Did you bring the skank with you?' I bark. I don't know why I never noticed before, but he really gives me the creeps. There's just something off about him, and though I can't put my finger on it, I would rather not get close enough to figure it out.

'Tsk tsk, that's no way to talk about a lady. Besides, from what I've been told, it was you who was quite the whore while we were together. What, sleeping with my best friend and all.'

As I see Chase about to stand up, I beat him to it and all I see is red. 'Listen here you useless piece of fucking shit. No, even that's too good of a name for what you are. I had always been faithful to you, and if this 'friend' your referring to is Nick, than he's just pissed off that I rejected him. Unlike you, I only need one person to keep me satisfied. OH!' I practically yell, not noticing that the whole bar is watching us, 'and before I forget dipshit! I heard what you said about asking me to marry you. I couldn't help but laugh that I was apparently the needy one just begging you for a ring when you were the one bawling your fucking eyes out on my shoulder because of your 'mommy issues'. Get the fuck over yourself Liam, because I sure the fuck am.

'This whole situation has opened my eyes and I finally realized what a low life piece of scum you are. While I was gone, I did alot of thinking and I actually met someone who did more than just try to get me into bed, unlike you. How is Laurel by the way? I would just love to thank that nasty slut.'

'Laurel...?' I hear Elliott say as I see the blonde bimbo walking up to us. I don't have time to question how he knows her before her mouth opens.

'So, Ana, I see your back on your feet, looking slutty as ever.' she sneers, and before I have time to think of a comeback, my fist is connecting with her face, over and over again. I finally come back to earth when I feel arms wrapped around me and whispering in my ear,

'Its ok, Ana, just breathe. Ana, come on sweetie...there ya go, deep breaths.' As I take in my surroundings, I see Danny is holding me while everyone else is just staring.

'You broke my nose you psychotic bitch! Your going to pay for this! Liam, take me to the hospital please. Ana, you better watch your back, this is far from over.'

'Oooh, I'm shaking in my Choos little girl. Your lucky it was just your nose that I broke, get the fuck out of my face.'

'Hows your hand, Ans? You hit her pretty hard.' Chase asks. 'It really hurts if I'm being honest.'

Elliott pipes up, 'let's get you to the hospital, I can call my mom to come heck you out!' I give him a big hug to thank him and add, 'can you please call your brother? I haven't heard from him but I really need to talk to him about what happened.' He just gives me a knowing smile and we all make our way outside. What a night this has turned out to be, I just hope it gets better.


	7. Chapter 7

**I tried to get this out last night but fell asleep. Now, it's 4:20am and I find myself awake...such a piss off. Anyways, another one I'm not too happy with, but the next chapter will be the confrontation...one of them ;)**

Chapter Seven: Over You

**You took a hammer to these walls,  
Dragged the memories down the hall,  
Packed your bags and walked away.  
There was nothing I could say.  
And when you slammed the front door shut,  
A lot of others opened up,  
So did my eyes so I could see  
That you never were the best for me**

xxxxx

CPOV

I can't believe how pissed off I am. It's been one of the longest, and weirdest, weeks of my life. It all started with Mia and her need to have her bothers home, all because mom and dad took her credit card away. When will that girl ever learn that she doesn't need to spend more than $10,000 a day? I make more than that an hour, but still, I earned it.

Elliott didn't stand a chance, poor bastard. He promised her his card just so she would stop crying while me on the other hand, I expressed how pissed I was about having to leave Ana and just walked away.

Speaking of Ana, not that she's ever left my mind, but yet another day of me constantly checking my phone to find no missed calls or texts. I should have taken her number as well as given her mine. How could she not have found it yet? Maybe she just doesn't want to see me.

'Mr Grey, you have a visitor that insists its important.' Taylor interrupts. 'Send them up please, I will be in my office.' I can't help but wonder who it would be, if it was her, Taylor would have said so. Just as I finish pouring myself a drink, the door opens and before me stands the one person I never wanted to see again.

'Laurel.'

'That's all I get, Christian? After everything we've been through, you can't even offer me a hello? It's so nice to see you, what have you been up to? I've been great...'

'Cut the crap,' I interrupt. 'What do you want and why are you here? I thought I made it perfectly clear when you walked out that I never wanted to talk to you again.' As much as I've tried to forget her face and body, I can still recall when she's lying or hiding something from me. She fidgets, won't look me in the eyes and grinds her teeth, that's the most horrible habit if you ask me.

'Well, I, uh...see...oh god. Okay, I never wanted to have to do this, Christian, but I need help. Mom and dad won't talk to me anymore, I swear my whole family hates me.' she says without looking up. 'I don't know who else to go to, but I need help. I need money.'

Before I can stop it, I let out a thundering laugh that scares her. 'You have the fucking nerve to step into MY home and ask me for money? You two timing slut! Why would I give you a dime of what's mine? You lost all right to that when you decided I wasn't good enough and found another dick to go sit on. Go ask him for money, Laurel, because even if hell froze over and pigs started to fly, you won't see a cent from me. I have worked hard to get where I'm at right now and I won't have the likes of you coming in and trying to rip it all apart. Now, I repeat, get the fuck out of my apartment. I don't want to see you, hear from you or speak to you again. Do I make myself clear?' She just stands there staring at me, 'answer me, Laurel. Are we clear?'

'Yes, Christian. Crystal.' And with that she walks to where Taylor is standing to escort her away.

I slump back in my chair with a bad feeling. Something tells me that this definitely won't be the last time I have to deal with her skank ass.

xxxxx

I don't remember falling asleep in my office, but the vibrating of my phone brings me back to the land of the living.

Hey bro, you up? ~E

What would you like Elliott? ~C

Always to the point! I have a message for you to meet us at the hospital. Will explain later, but your services are needed. ~E

The hospital? ~C

Considering I'm staring at a brunette with blue eyes, dressed to kill and what I'm assuming is a sprained hand, yes dipshit, the hospital. ~E

Meet you there. ~C

Ana? Could it really be her? Why would she have a sprained hand? I can't grab my stuff fast enough as I'm yelling for Taylor. 'I have to go to the hospital. I know it's late, but I have a really bad feeling...'

'Say no more, Sir. You've never been wrong with your feelings before, I won't start shutting you down now.' Taylor says. 'Lets go. R8 or Audi?'

I think long and hard. 'Audi please Taylor. I don't know if anyone will be coming back here or not tonight so better to have extra room.'

The ride to the hospital is taking forever, but as soon as the vehicle comes to a stop, I bolt inside to find my mom waiting.

'Mom? What are you doing here this late?'

She smiles, 'your brother called and said he had someone who I needed to look at. Why are you here?'

'Uh, same reason.' Just then, I see them coming through the door. I stand up waiting in excitement as I see her coming up the rear. Holy fuck, she's even more beautiful than I remember; her long brown hair, big sparkling blue eyes that shine like diamonds. Her tight jeans show off her long legs and amazing ass, where her tight shirt is showing off her breasts but not too much. Her face is just...beautiful doesn't even describe it. She is amazing in every way.

She finally looks up and sees me, a knowing smile flashes across her face as she runs and jumps into my arms. I grab her face, 'I missed you, Ana.' Kissing her was like the very first time, there were sparks and it left me breathless. This girl will honestly be the death of me.

'What the fuck is this?' God please, make me be hearing things. I put Ana down as I turn around and am faced with quite the sight, I try not to laugh.

'Laurel.'


	8. Chapter 8

**Wow, thank you everyone for very awesome reviews! I hope I can live up to everyone's expectations! I don't know how long I plan to make this, but I do know where I want to take it and there will only be a HEA; no cheating, no Hyde or Elena, no main characters dying (if there is death at all). I had my 1 1/2 year old jumping on me while trying to write this so I hope it's okay lol.**

Chapter Eight: Crash My Party

**You can wake me up in the dead of the night; wreck my plans, baby that's alright.**

**This is a drop everything kind of thing.**

**Swing on by I will pour you a drink.**

**The door's unlocked. I'll leave on the lights**

**Baby you can crash my party anytime.**

xxxx

APOV

Oh my god, he actually came! The smile on his face when I saw him was the best sight I've seen since he left me, I hope this won't be the last time. I forget where we are as I run and jump into his arms, I start kissing him like there's no tomorrow. I could kiss this man forever and never get bored, he does something to my body that I've never experienced before, obviously, but I would be stupid to let him go. Until I hear that horrible nasally voice.

'What the fuck is this?' Ugh, could she be even more annoying?

'Laurel.' I hear Christian say, while trying to hold his laughter after seeing her face. 'What happened to your face?'

'Your psychotic...friend...here punched me and broke my nose, for no reason!'

I can't help but laugh. 'For no fucking reason, Laurel, really? I knew you were a liar but trying to manipulate someone when more than half the people in this room were witnesses, is just plain stupid. Christian, how do you know her?' When I see him staring at her, I get an uneasy feeling in my gut, until I hear those three words.

'Shes THE ex.' And the look on his face turns to disgust, while I start to do my happy dance. 'Now I don't feel any guilt at all for punching the slut in the face.'

'Hey babe, the doctor says...oh fuck.' I turn and see Liam walking out of the room, taking in the scene infront of him. 'Annie, what are you doing here? Haven't you done enough?'

'Thats my ex,' I whisper to Christian. As I watch the emotion flutter across his face, disgust, anger, rage, I knew I would have to do something...anything.'Liam, please don't call me Annie, and in case you forgot, while I was punching this..thing..I hurt myself so I'm here for Grace to look at it.'

I see Laurel glare, 'so, let me get this straight. She gets to hang out with your brother, she gets to call your mother by her first name, does she do sleepovers with your annoying sister too?'

'Not that it's any of your concern, but yes she gets to do those things and if she wants to have a sleepover with Mia, she's more than welcome. For your information, we met while we were in Mexico trying to get over you two cheating, backstabbing fucktards. She was more honest with me in one night than you were in five years. Oh, and just so we are clear on something, Laurel,' Christian says with so much disgust, 'my family never liked you, they just tolerated you for me. But, you leaving was the best thing you could do because than I met this beautiful woman who I actually enjoy spending time with. Now if you will excuse us, my mother is waiting.'

As Christian walks by, I see Liam flinch. Good boy, would be best to lay down and play dead like the dog you are, I think to myself. As I go to walk by Laurel, she grabs onto my arm and says, 'this isn't over. You don't deserve him, he will be mine again, I promise you that.' I look from her face to the hand holding my arm. 'If you are saying that to scare me, bring it on Barbie. He's not yours anymore and if I have anything to do with it, he will never be anyone else's. Now, get your fucking hand off me before I break all your fingers, one by one.' With that she storms out of the hospital in a huff, I start laughing to myself. 'Well, this has been an interesting night! Now, lets go check this hand!'

xxxxx

I see Grace smiling at me while she checks my hand, 'So, I finally get to meet the girl who has captured my sons heart. He was quite worried that you never wanted to speak to him again.'

'Mom...' Christian whines. 'Oh Christian, lighten up will you? Anastasia, he's right, I never did like that girl. She's always been so rude and demanding. Even coming to family dinners, which we do every Sunday by the way,' she winks. 'Was like pulling teeth. She was an embarrassment pretty much, but Carrick and I always tolerated her because she was what Christian wanted. Until he met you, you beautiful girl.' I can't help but blush, you can definitely see the love this woman carries for her family and I hope I will be like that when I have children.

'So your hand, Ms Steele. It's not broken, it's not sprained. You've just bruised a couple of the knuckles, and they should heal in a week or two. Keep them wrapped if it makes it easier, but you must pack quite the punch because I saw what you did to Laurel. I don't condone fighting, but the bitch deserved that!' she laughs.

I look over at Christian and Elliott who seem shocked. 'Boys, close your mouths, it's rude.' And they do, oh this is going to be fun. 'Thank you Grace. We should all get going though, I look forward to Sunday. I've heard alot about the family, and can't wait to spend time with you guys.' The boys hug and kiss their mom goodbye before Christian grabs my hand. 'We need to talk,' I say. 'My place or yours?' I see him look over at his brother and Mads, than back to me. 'Yours.' I say and we both laugh.

'Thanks for tonight guys, sorry it ended the way it did but I will make it up to you. Don't wait up, Maddy and Elliott, don't do it anywhere that I eat..or sit..or sleep. How about you just stick to Maddy's room?' We all laugh, 'night Ana.'

'So, Mr Grey. You ready to take me to your castle in the sky?'


	9. Chapter 9

**Some of you may be wondering what is up with Laurel . Basically, my Laurel is James' Leila. She's a bit psycho, she was before but especially now that she sees someone else with CG. She's one of those people that has to have everything no matter what the cost or who it hurts in the process. Her and Liam are still together and he doesnt have a clue about her feelings, etc. I will be doing her point of view eventually to help.**

**Thanks again for all the awesome reviews! It makes my day when I see all the emails, and it makes me work harder & faster to get you guys the next update! xox**

Chapter Nine: Truly, Madly, Deeply

**Maybe it's intuition **

**But some things you just don't question**

**Like in your eyes**

**I see my future in an instant**

**and there it goes**

**I think I've found my best friend**

**I know that it might sound more than a little crazy**

xxxxx

As soon as we walk out of the hospital and into the waiting SUV, I launch myself onto Christians lap, latching my lips to his. I can feel his hands roaming all over my body making me moan.

'Ana, baby, I missed you so much. Why didn't you call me?' he says. I can't help the confused look on my face, 'what do you mean? How am I supposed to call you when I don't have your number? I assumed you would have gotten mine from Elliott...'

'I put my number in your phone before I left your room, didn't you look? And tonight was the first night since I've been home that I've talked to my brother, he's been holed up with that friend of yours doing god knows what.' he laughs.

'Oh my god, Christian! I feel so stupid. I just assumed that it was a one time thing and you were done with me. I'm sorry. I was going to talk to Elliott tonight about getting ahold of you regardless of what was to be said and that's when the evil exes showed up.'

He laughs, 'yes, I quite enjoyed seeing Laurel all bruised, you definitely did a number on her. Who taught you to fight, by the way?'

'The joys of growing up with four older brothers. I always had to make sure I was the first at the dinner table but even then, the boys tried to fight me. One night it was so bad, Nixon pulled my chair out from underneath me as I was going to sit down and I fell flat on my ass. I think I was about 16, I had just gotten my braces off and was all excited because mama had made extra cheesy Mac & cheese for me. Without even thinking, I wound up and punched him square in the face, made his nose bleed. Mama and daddy were trying to be mad at me but they were laughing too hard. Ever since then the boys, Nix especially, know not to mess with me and not to get in my way.'

Before I realize it, Taylor parks the car and we start making our way up to Christians apartment. As we are standing in the elevator, I can't help but smile, and when I look up at him, he's doing the same. 'What is it about elevators?' He says and we both burst out laughing. The doors open into a beautiful foyer, the only decoration being a vase of pink calalilies. 'Mrs Taylor likes to brighten the place up,' he answers my unasked question. 'She says I'm too bland and boring. I often wonder why I keep her around sometimes.' He winks as Taylor punches him in the arm. 'I will get you for that Grey, and if I don't, you know she will. Just remember she cooks your food.' Taylor jokes.

'Well, I can tell there isn't a dull moment around this place. It really is beautiful, Christian. The view is just amazing, I bet the sunrise and sunset just light the place up.'

'Why don't we find out one day?' He says as he comes up and wraps his arms around my waist. 'I really did miss you, Anastasia. I was so angry when I had to leave, and this last week has been torture. But, now that I have you in my arms again, I never want to let you go. At least not until we have to get up for work. Come, lets go to bed.'

xxxxx

After hours of hot sex, we find ourselves laughing and talking.

'I have a bone to pick with you Mr Grey!' He looks at me, 'and what would that be?'

'That smile of yours should be illegal,' I roll over onto my stomach resting my head on his chest. 'I don't want you using it on anyone but me; I nearly creamed my panties earlier, that's how fucking lethal it is.'

He laughs, 'well if that's the case, no one is allowed to see this body but me. You are quite sexy, Ms Steele. The first time I saw you in Mexico, wearing that pink bikini, I wanted to ravish you right than and there. I was just too afraid to talk to you.'

'Laurel did quite the number on you didn't she? I'm glad I saw you at the bar, even though I felt like a loser. Fuck, I ended up in my own little world, I bet you all had a good laugh at that. I haven't done that since I was 15.'

'Speaking of you at 15...after I found out who you were, I had a little flashback. I don't know if you know this but I went to school with Nixon at Harvard, we were on the rowing team together. I remember there was this one race where the whole family, yours, showed up to watch and I saw you standing with Danny and Chase. You were so cute wearing your coverall shorts, hair braided and your braces. It was hard to believe the woman in Mexico was the same girl 6 years ago.'

I am shocked, 'you saw me there? Oh my god, I was the ugly duckling,' I laugh. 'I didn't even want to go to that race but daddy made me, said something about how Nix would be so happy to see us. He barely talked to me, I think he was embarrassed by me. Not long after that, I started to care more about my appearance, mama took me shopping and to the salon. Once I got my braces off and started wearing makeup, people started to look at my differently. My brothers didn't like how much attention I was getting from the boys, hence why I never dated in school but it made me feel good to be wanted. Than Liam came along and turned my world upside down. I just started putting it all back together when you walked in, but I wouldn't change anything at all.'

CPOV

This girl amazes me. I don't know how she can call herself an ugly duckling because even back then, she was far from it. It's nice to just lay here and have a conversation with someone about little things, I haven't felt this comfortable in a long time.

'Just so you know that we are on the same page, you turned my world upside down as well. This last week, your basic all I've thought about, kicking myself in the ass for not getting your number, having to leave you. That night we met was honestly one of the best nights I've had.

'With Laurel, everything was great in the beginning. My family loved her than, but something changed and she turned into a bitch. Of course, I was too blind to see it and whenever someone said something, I never believed them. Her and Mia got into a fight one night, which I still don't know what it was about, but she said some pretty hurtful things. That's when our relationship started going downhill. I ended up working later at night until she gave me shit saying she was sick of sleeping alone. I was still so in love with her that I wanted to make her my wife, and that's when I bought her the ring.

'She came here last night, I'm assuming not long before she went to the bar because she didn't have one scratch on her,' I laugh. 'The bitch actually had the nerve to come ask me for money, saying she was in trouble and her family didn't talk to her anymore. You know, I've sat here many a night thinking about everything. It all started making sense when I would remember certain moments that I thought were perfect at the time.

'Anyways, I think it's funny how our two exes are together, but they deserve each other. That asshole better pray he never meets me on the street, I'm not pissed about him and Laurel anymore, I'm angry at what he did to you because you don't deserve to be treated like that. I want you to know that I will always treat you like a princess, just like you should be.' The look I see in her eyes, I know she feels the same as I do. It may be too early to tell, but I think we are both in this for the long haul. Fuck, when did I become so soft? This girl makes me feel things I didn't think I could anymore; I don't want to let her go, so I pull her closer to me and give her the sweetest kiss before we fall asleep. My last thought is how I'm falling for this beautiful creature beside me and I will make it my mission to show her every single day.


	10. Chapter 10

**Just a small one ;)**

Chapter Ten: Hide Your Crazy

**I wish I could be just a** **little less dramatic**

**Like a Kennedy when Camelot went down in flames**

**Leave it to me to be holdin' the matches**

**When the fire trucks show up and there's nobody else to blame**

xxxx

LPOV

That stupid bitch! FUCK! She deserves nothing but everything she gets at the same time. I took one man from her, I can take another as well. Even if it means I have to take her out of the picture, if you catch my drift.

Sure, my relationship with Christian wasnt all fucking sunshine and rainbows but I loved him, I still do. Liam is great but not him. No matter how hard he tries, he will never be able to satisfy me, he isn't even that great of a fuck. I find myself faking half the time and I never had to do that with Christian once. That man definitely knows what to do with his hands, and that tongue? Oh my, I could make myself cum just thinking about him running it all over my body. Maybe I should start picturing him when Liam wants to have sex..hmm, now there's an idea.

Okay, I'm getting side tracked. I need to do something to get rid of little miss perfect, something no one could ever pin on me. Kidnap? No, that's overplayed. Orchestrate a car accident? Nope, she's too smart for that. Fuck, after the whore breaking my nose, maybe I should break all the bones in her body. Worthless piece of trash, she's going to regret the day she met me.

Sure, I started to like her but that was a moment of weakness. I've been aware of the little bitch since highschool. I know she doesn't remember me, a name change also helps. Maybe a little bit of plastic surgery but no one needs to know my secrets. I never had to worry about her until she got those damn braces off and grew a set of tits. After that, she was the 'hot chick', all the guys wanted her but were pissed when she wouldn't put out; such a little prude.

My boyfriend broke up with me because of her. She took head cheerleader out from underneath me, than prom queen, valedictorian. You name it, Anastasia Steele had it. Once I left Georgia, I met my true love, and yes I fucked it up but I wasn't supposed to get caught. Liam threatened me and I knew I didn't have any other choice.

Maybe I should take everyone out. Liam says he loves me, but he's too much of a fuckin pussy. Ana deserves nothing at all, and if I can't have Christian, than no one can. Oh, I could have fun with this. Lets play a game of cat and mouse shall we, but who do I take out first? I should probably look at Grey's security guys, once they are out of the way, the rest will be easy.

*ding ding ding* Oh fuck, time for my meds. I swear I don't need them but Dr Davidson seems to think that I do. I have tried to tell him that I'm not psycho but spend a couple months in a padded room for trying to kill yourself and everyone's opinion of you changes. Speaking of that, I should probably check in with mother, heaven fucking forbid I not stick to the bitchs schedule. I can't wait to have my life back to where I deserve, I'm sick of all this shit.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven: I'm Loving Every Moment With You

**In our silence  
Looking in your eyes  
I hear words you don't need to say  
Just hold on baby  
'Cause it's reason-I'm prayin'  
You feel what I feel  
In every way**

xxxxx

APOV

Before I'm fully awake, I can feel Christians eyes on me while he runs his finger down my side.

'Christian, what do you think you are you doing? You woke me from an amazing dream.' I say without opening my eyes.

I feel him try to hold in a chuckle, 'your just so beautiful, I'm trying to burn every inch of your body into my brain. I was so happy to see you were still here when I woke up this morning because I wasn't sure if last night was a dream or not.'

I roll over to look into his beautiful gray eyes, 'I'm not going anywhere. With you is where I belong and as long as you will have me, I'm here. Now kiss me you silly man!'

The kiss starts off slow but soon works its way into such a passionate kiss, it leaves me breathless when he pulls away. 'Wow..' Is all I manage. 'I could kiss you all day long, Anastasia, you have such beautiful lips. Your body is pure perfection,' he says as he trails kisses on my neck. 'I need you, Christian, please.'

'What do you want baby, tell me.'

'I want you to fuck me with your big hard cock. Please.' I feel his hand travel down my body and in between my legs, 'oh Ana, your so wet.' He climbs ontop of me and in one push, he's inside. 'Oh baby, you feel so good.' As he thrusts in and out of me, I don't know how much longer I can hold on. 'Oh baby, your so close, I can feel it. I want you to cum for me, come on Ana.' Not long after the words are out of his mouth, I find my body exploding around him, both of us finding our release together.

When I finally come back down to earth, I can't help but admire him. His mesmerizing gray eyes, his perfectly sculpted face and body; how someone this perfect could like someone like me, I will never understand. 'What are you thinking about, Ana? You look far away.'

I smile, 'I'm thinking about you.'

'And what about me, Ms Steele?'

'How perfect you are, in every way. Wondering why someone like you is interested in someone like me, I'm plain Jane compared to you, Christian.'

'You shouldn't talk about yourself like that, baby. You are so beautiful, I will always tell you how you have the perfect body. I love your long sexy legs, especially when they are wrapped around me. Your breasts are amazing, two of my favorite parts of your body. When I look into your eyes, I see what your feeling, and right now I can see that your happy to be here with me. I know your going to have reservations and worries about this relationship and especially me, but Ana, I plan to never hurt you. I want to show you the world, I want you by my side for everything. That has to say something.'

He always knows the right words to say, he melts my heart when he calls me beautiful. 'Since you want to travel the world, Mr Grey, where's the first stop? I've never been to Paris before, I would love to see the Eiffel Tower.' He puts on my favorite but lethal smile. 'How about we go for your birthday? I know it's still a couple months away but I should be all caught up a work by than which means I can devote all my attention to you'

xxxxx

The rest of the day, we end up just lounging around Christians apartment. At one point, I fall asleep on his lap while watching a movie as he runs his hands through my hair. I wake up to him leaning over me a couple hours later. 'Dinner is ready, baby. Time to eat.' I slowly get up and we make our way into the dining room. 'Mmm this smells fantastic, what is it?'

'Mrs Taylor has made us her special stew. She won't ever tell me or Taylor what's in it, but it truly is amazing!' As I take the first bite, I know he is not joking. 'Oh my god! I might have to kidnap her from you. Or at least until she gives it up. I can't believe how delicious this is.'

I hear a soft laugh, 'you won't have to kidnap me, Ms Steele. I would gladly hand it over to you.' I see Christian glare at her out of the corner of my eye. 'Mr Grey, the reason you or my nosy husband do not get it is because I know you would just either ruin it by trying to make it yourselves, or you would find someone else to make it for you. At least I know Ms Steele is hanging around for a while, and I trust her more than I trust you.'

He puts his hand over his heart and fakes a pout, 'oh that hurts Gail, you wound me.' All of a sudden everyone bursts into laughter. It's so nice to see everyone happy and getting along, I can tell that Gail and Taylor care alot for Christian, he truly is a lucky man which in turn makes me exceptionally lucky. After we have finished eating and the dishes have been cleared, Christian takes off to run us a bath. When it's done and we are both comfortable, I say, 'Christian, there's something I want to talk to you about, but you have to promise not to freak.'

'I promise, you can talk to me about anything, baby. What's on your mind?'

'Well, I'm just going to come out and say it. I think I'm falling for you and it scares the shit out of me. Ever since the first moment I saw you, you've done something to me but I can't explain it. I'm just afraid of fully giving my heart to someone incase I get hurt again. I don't think I would survive next time, especially if that person is you.' I turn towards him so I can see his face, mostly his eyes that like mine, betray his body and mind.

'Im falling for you too, Anastasia. We will take this slow. We've both been hurt, but I want to give this a real shot. Your all I think about, Ana, you've completely taken over my mind and my heart...' I cut him off with my lips and don't let go until he's finished having his way with me, almost flooding the bathroom with water sloshing out of the tub. I've learned to live in the now and not worry about the future. At least he hasn't given me a reason to...yet.


	12. Chapter 12

**Im jumping ahead a couple weeks because I have had a REALLY hard time writing the chapter before this one but yet I have all the way up to 15 written. ugh, frustrating I tell you!**

Chapter Twelve: It Only Hurts

**it only** **hurts when your eyes are open  
lies get tossed and truth is spoken it only hurts when that door  
gets open  
dreams are lost and hearts are broken**

xxxxx

CPOV

The last couple weeks with Ana have been...amazing. My whole family loves her, and even though I do as well, I just can't seem to bring myself to say those three words. We've both been through so much that I don't want to scare her into running away.

I can't help but wonder how her day is going at work. Since she turned down the offer from my brothers company, she has taken a job at one of the elementary schools as a music teacher, I couldn't be more proud. She comes home happy every day and as long as she has a smile on her face from doing something she loves, I'm happy. Just as I'm about to leave for my next meeting, my cell phone lets me know that I have a message.

**Do you really know the person** **your with? Heard through the grapevine your not the only billionaire she's gotten her claws into. ~ ?**

What the fuck?! I pick up the phone on me desk, 'Welch, I need you to figure out where the latest text message that was sent to my phone came from.' I hang up before he can respond, that way he knows I mean business.

xxxxx

That text message is still bothering me and Welch hasn't gotten any leads. How could someone possibly know the kind of person my sweet Ana is? I can't help but wonder though, what if she is only with me for my money? No, shes not like that. Is she? I mean, we've only known each other for just over a month, could you really know a person inside and out in that short amount of time? Maybe I should talk to her and figure this out. What if she freaks out and leaves though! I don't know if I could handle being left again. Fuck! I wish I knew who this person was, would make this whole situation a hell of alot easier. I would know if this was just a sick twisted game to someone.

I sit in my office just staring out the window trying to figure out what to do. How do I even bring this kind of topic up to the person your with? I can't believe I'm letting this unknown person get under my skin. Just than, there's a knock at my door. 'Come in!' I yell, I'm really not in the mood to be dealing with stupid people today.

'Sir,' Taylor says. 'We've just got word that Miss Hill was following Ms Steele from her work place. Ms Steele was unaware that she had anyone behind her, but Sawyer has informed me that she is headed home.'

I sigh, 'what I want to know is why Laurel is hanging around stalking Ana? I want Welch to get me all information on her, as far back as he can go. Something is really off and I want to figure out what it is.'

After the day is done and we make our way to the apartment, I still can't figure out how to bring this up to Ana. Even Taylor seems speechless which rarely ever happens. The ride in the car is silent, as well as the elevator, but stepping into the apartment I've been sharing with my angel doesn't shift my mood and I think she knows something is wrong. She gives me a soft smile which I return but I'm afraid to speak to her. As we sit down to eat dinner, I can tell she is having an internal battle before she speaks.

'Christian, please tell me what's wrong. I don't like seeing you like this.' Her sweet voice calms me a bit but not enough.

'Nothing, I'm fine.' I snap.

'This is not nothing! I thought we agreed no secrets? No matter what it was, you promised me.'

'I promised you?! I didn't promise you shit, Anastasia! When I say it's nothing, I mean it's nothing. You don't need to keep hounding me.' I take a deep breath before I continue, 'no, fuck this! There is something wrong and if I don't say it now than it's just going to eat me fucking alive. Why are you with me Ana? Are you with me because you want to be? Because you lost a bet? Or is it because of my money? I can't believe how fucking stupid and blind I am! All you women are the same!'

APOV

'Pardon fuckin me?! You are going to sit there and have the nerve to question why I'm with you? If I was with you for your money, Christian, you would fucking know it! I can't believe you...oh my god.'

I don't understand. Everything was fine, we were happy, it's been an amazing couple of weeks, why the sudden change now? The man standing infront of me is not the man that I've fallen in love with. I get up and start pacing the living room.

'Sit down, Anastasia.' He says sternly. I just look at him like he has two heads.

'Sit down? You want me to sit down?! Fuck you Grey! I can't even begin to know what the hell goes on in that head of yours, the fact that you even had that thought bothers me. Have you been worrying about this since the first second or have you been talking to someone who has changed your mind?' I see him wince. 'Thats it isn't it? Who the hell have you been talking to that would have any fucking idea what I'm like? Who knows what goes on inside my head? Hell, Christian, I don't know what goes on in yours so maybe I should stand here and accuse you of being after my money.

'This is absolutely pathetic. Are you just going to sit there and not say a word to me? Are we not going to solve this? Because if this is how it's going to be, I will walk out that fucking door right now and you will be so sorry that you let someone come in between us. I thought we had an understanding. I don't hurt you, you don't hurt me. Well, good fucking job, I'm hurt. No, I'm so beyond hurt, I can't even think of a word to describe it right now. But I will say this, I'm disappointed. I thought you were different than other guys, I gave you my heart for crying out loud even though it was still in a million pieces from last time, you were helping me put it back together..and now THIS!' I can't stop the tears from falling anymore. I'm so ashamed of myself for falling so fast. I said I would never let a man do this to me again, but yet here I am trying to defend myself to someone who doesn't even seem to care.

I storm into the bedroom to grab my stuff, while Christian doesn't make a move from the couch, not even speaking a word. When I make my way back to the living room, he peers up at me with a lost look in his eyes.

'When you have all your shit figured out, let me know but I will not stay here and be your personal punching bag, Christian. I am better than that and I deserve better than that. Right now you are no better than Liam, the only difference is I know you have a heart and a brain. Use them.' And with that I walk out of his apartment, not knowing when or if I would see him again. Every ounce of trust I have ever had in a person is gone, that's what I get for giving my heart out before I know a persons true colors.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen: Trying Not To Love You

**Trying not to love you, only goes so far  
And trying not to need you, is tearing me apart  
Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor  
And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for  
'Cause trying not to love you  
Only makes me love you more**

xxxxx

APOV

Last night was the worst sleep I've ever had. I didn't want to come back to the apartment, but after the fight Christian and I had, I couldn't stand to stay at his place. I can't believe he thinks I'm with him for his money, I never gave him that impression once. He's so frustrating sometimes, hot and cold, I often wonder if being with him is the best thing. We haven't said those three words yet, but I know we both feel them.

I wasn't even looking for love when I found him, maybe that's what makes this so special. I just can't get over the fact of him believing someone, who he wouldn't even tell me, over me. I have my own money, and if I was only after him for his than he would have known it the first time we met. Fuck this, I am not going to lay here and sulk, this calls for cleaning and loud music.

As I make my way to the living room, I notice Mads isn't home, perfect! I find myself blasting Pound The Alarm by Nicki Minaj and singing my heart out, not caring who walks in or hears me. As I'm dancing around the living room, I turn and see someone standing in the doorframe watching me.

'Jesus fucking Christ, Elliott! You scared me!'

He laughs, 'sorry little lady, Maddy is just grabbing some stuff than we are heading back to my place. When we pulled up and she heard the music, she knew something was up, so what's going on?'

'Ell, he's so frustrating! I don't get him, one minute he's basically saying he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and than the next he's saying I'm a gold digger and that we can't be together. I was so pissed off last night that I came home. Music, whether writing, singing or listening, is therapy for me. Don't be surprised if you walk in here and find me doing this again, but I promise I will wear more clothes just in case.' I blush as I look down and see I never put pants on so I'm wearing booty shorts and a tshirt.

'Listen, Ana, Christian is an idiot. Full blown, stupid, ignorant, blind idiot. If it will make you feel better, I will try talking to him, see if he says anything to me. Oh, and before I forget, call my mom. There's something she wants to talk to you about.' He smiles than gets up to walk away, 'smile, Ana, it will get better, that's my promise to you.'

Do I want him to talk to Christian? Will he get pissed off that someone else is involved? No, fuck that! Someone already is but he refuses to give me a name. When I realize that music isn't helping me, I decide to go for a run. Nothing like fresh air to clear your mind. I throw on my yoga capris and sports bra, throw my hair up than grab my runners and iPod before heading out the door. No destination, not caring where I end up, not caring who is watching me. I just need to run. I need something.

There's so many things I could do to fix this, talking helps for starters. But what if he doesn't want to talk to me? Than what do I do? The first night we met flashes into my mind; how he listened, watched, adored, almost worshipped me. How can he just throw me away like I'm yesterday's garbage? Well, technically I'm the one that left but I knew he was thinking it.

Apparently I hadn't been paying to my surroundings at all because before I knew it, I was rounding the corner to my apartment building, but stopped in my tracks at what I saw.

'Taylor. To what do I owe the pleasure of this little visit?'

'Just checking in to see that you are okay, Ms Steele. You left so suddenly last night, I didn't know if I should send someone with you or not. Just so you know, Mr Grey is a mess. I don't know what happened between the two of you but he feels like you don't want to be with him.

'He wants me to tell you that you can have as much time as you need, he won't bother you. He wasn't even like this after his ex left, Ana. He really cares for you, I can see it in his eyes. Just please, if you don't plan on going back, at least call him, I can't bare to see him hurt again. Have a good day ms Steele.' And he's gone..how does that man do it?!

Me hurt him? Last time I checked, it was him being mean to me. I get inside just as my phone starts ringing,

'Hello, Ana speaking.'

'Oh, Ana, hello darling, it's Grace.'

'Hi Grace! I was just about to call you, Elliott passed along the message this morning when he stopped by. What can I help you with?'

'At least one of my sons is useful,' she laughs. 'Next weekend we are having an engagement party for Mia and Ryder. We were wondering if you would mind being in charge of the music. Elliott and Christian told us about Mexico and how you have such a lovely voice. It would mean alot to all of us, especially Mia.'

'Of course I will! I would be honored. How about I shower and get changed than I will make my way over so we can go over everything.'

'Sounds good hun, we will see you soon. Bye Ana.'

'Bye!'


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen: Anything At All

**I got all** t**his love deep down in my heart  
Still right there from the day we broke apart  
Hey baby I tried, but I couldn't let you go  
You were tied to me like an anchor to my soul**

xxxxx

APOV

I can't believe I agreed to do this, I haven't seen or heard from Christian in a week, so tonight I make myself look extra good. I put on the tight light pink floor length gown, it has a slit up to my thigh that makes it look even sexier. My hair is in curls down past the middle of my back, Mads did my makeup very subtle but still sexy and she brought me a pair of white platform heels, pink diamonds cover the back with a pink bow ontop.

Last night while I was over at Grace and Carricks, we went over the song list, making me happy that she opted for a mixture of dance and soft music. I wrote a couple songs especially for tonight while she picked the rest. She kept asking me to sing for them but I said I would prefer to wait, making sure they get the full experience. My mind wanders back to the conversation we had.

'_Grace, I don't know if this is such a good idea. I don't think Christian wants me here, especially after the fight we had.' I say._

_She looks at me shocked, 'you two had a fight? What was it about, sweetie?' I see both her and Carrick waiting for an answer._

_'He wouldn't tell me who he had_ _talked to or heard it from, but he basically said I was after his money and that he wasn't sure we should be together. I'm falling in love with him, but I can't handle someone believing lies instead of talking to me. I've told him about my family, we are pretty well off not that it matters, but I don't want his money, I just want him. It breaks my heart that he hasn't even tried to contact me so we can work_ _this out.'_

_I hear Carrick sigh, 'Ana, he is a different breed that boy of ours. I want to apologize on his behalf for his behavior, you definitely don't deserve it. Just give him time and he will come around, I'm just sorry it was his lack of brain that caused it. Tell you what, we won't tell him your coming tomorrow and you don't even have to see or talk to him if you don't want to. But, we want you here and it will be a pleasure to hear that voice of yours_.'

I'm so glad that his parents are understanding, he's lucky because I was stuck growing up with nosy parents who couldn't leave anything alone. As I'm admiring myself in the mirror, Maddy and Elliott walk in, 'holy shit Steele, you look smokin'! My brother isn't going to know what to do with himself.' We all laugh.

'Come on, lets get this show on the road. Just remember the deal, you can't tell him I'm going to be there, he can figure it out on his own. If he shows up with someone than I know that it's over and I need to move on.' I force a smile.

xxxxx

Pulling into the Grey's driveway, I see all the cars and instantly get nervous. I should just back out while I can, Mia won't mind. At least I hope not. Before I can tell the driver to keep going, Mads is pulling me from the car and into the house to see Grace.

'Hey, Grace, I dragged her out, she didn't have a chance to bail like she wants.' Maddy laughs.

'Thanks darling, I know she will regret it if she does. Okay so here's the plan. You are going to go through that door and go behind the white curtain. Carrick will go up and do his big daddy speech than you will come out and do your thing!' I blow out the breath I was holding, 'okay, I can do this! I just can't help but be nervous, I'm sorry Grace.'

Before anything else can be said, they usher me outside to wait my turn. I decide to peek around the curtain and watch the guests show up and that's when I see him. He looks just as gorgeous as ever wearing a black tailored tux, but what shocks me is him wearing a pink tie...the same color as my dress. He couldn't have known, could he? No, someone would have told me. Ugh, I can't do this right now, so I make my way to the back and listen to Carrick give his speech, expecting it to be long but he listened to Mia's whining apparently,

'Ladies and gentleman, thank you so much for coming tonight to help our beautiful daughter, Mia, celebrate her engagement. As most of you know, she is definitely used to getting her way, hence why she's having a big party because daddy just can't say no,' everyone laughs. 'Mia, we are all so proud of the beautiful young woman that you have become. I've already had a chat with Ryder and he knows where I stand. I just don't know who he's more afraid of, me or her brothers. Alright everyone, I promised I wouldn't stand up here all night and embarrass her, but Mia, please do your old man a favor and give me the first dance.'

As I hear him leave the stage, I take that as my cue. The music starts and I sing the first song on the list, Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle. I forget where I am as I sing, I forget that the one person I want doesn't want me. I forget the pain, heartache, lies, betrayal and everything in between.

I imagine I'm back home in Georgia, sitting by the pool with my Grammy and Papa, enjoying the sun working on my tan. I take a ride on Buggsy, my horse, down to the lake, seeing the tire swing that's been there since I was a little girl. Papa would always take me and my brothers down there in the summer after we had our ice cream. He told us that Grammy didn't know and it was our little secret. I'm so lost in my own world that all the songs just run together until I decide to take a break. That's when I decide it's time for a trip back home.

'Hello?'

'Hi mama, it's Ana. How are you?'

'Im good my sweet baby girl, how are you? Where are you? It sounds loud.'

My ma sure doesn't miss a beat, 'I'm singing at a friends engagement party. Mama, I want to come home. I miss you and daddy, Grammy and Papa. I can be on the plane first thing in the morning.' I say through my tears.

'Oh, sweetie, you know you are more than welcome here any time, you don't need to ask permission. I will send Bobby to pick you up from the airport, just text me your flight schedule. I love you baby, remember that.'

'I love you too mama. Bye.'

I make my way back to the stage after cleaning myself up, I take a look around but don't see him anywhere. I feel my heart sink a little bit more.

'Miss Mia Grey,' I start. 'I am so happy for you and Ryder and I feel so blessed that I was able to be a part of your night. I've only got a couple more songs before I'm done for the night, but I want to wish you both nothing but a life full of happiness and love. Enjoy each other every second of the day, never go to bed angry, and the best advice yet, don't eat yellow snow.' She laughs as I shoot her a wink. 'Love you Ans!' She screams across the yard. No matter what has happened or happens between me and Christian, I hope I will always have her in my life.


	15. Chapter 15

**Here is what I'm assuming you are all waiting for :) **

**Thank you all for the love, it means alot. I do this just because I can, but the fact that so many of you have followed, favorited, read, reviewed, etc definitely makes it worth while. I appreciate each and every one of you :) xox**

Chapter Fifteen: All We'd Ever Need

**I** **should've been chasing you  
I should've been trying to prove  
That you were all that mattered to me  
I should've said all the things that I kept inside of me  
And maybe I could've made you believe  
That what we had was all we'd ever need**

xxxxx

CPOV

The last week has been hell. I keep thinking back to the night Ana left and I get more and more pissed off at myself. I don't know how long I sat there watching the door before I went into my office, just waiting for her to come back. Or for my brain to register what exactly happened and my legs to take me back to her. How could I have been so stupid? As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew it was wrong of me to believe that stupid message. And when she was yelling at me I couldn't find the words to say, I didn't know what to say to make her understand how that made me feel.

As soon as I said that all women are the same, I instantly regretted it and mentally beat the crap out of myself. Ana is not like other women, she is the beautiful creature that made my heart beat again, the one who made me feel like I should have felt with Laurel.

Laurel. The stupid bitch that is ruining my life. Welch had contacted me the day after Ana left saying that Laurel was in fact the one who sent the text, and she had been following my sweet girl in hopes of telling her untruths about me. I never knew her as vindictive. Yes, I knew she had issues, she even admitted to me that she had to take medication but that was only after I had found them in the bathroom. The one thing that isn't making sense to me is when I had Welch digging, there's nothing up until Laurel and I met. I don't know what she was expecting to happen with all this but it just makes me hate her more, if that's even possible.

I seem to drag myself through the days. I work out, eat, and get little sleep just so I can function. Taylor told me he talked to her and even though she didn't say much, he could see she was hurting just as much as I was. I often found myself with my phone in my hand to call her but quickly changed my mind. I would catch myself heading towards her apartment before I would turn around and head back home. I didn't know if she wanted to see or speak to me and I knew that I owed her a huge apology. I knew things wouldn't be the same between us but I didn't care. I wanted my heart back, I wanted her in my bed, by my side, forever.

Tonight is my little sisters engagement party, and as much as I don't want to go, my family means the world to me. Elliott came with me to pick up the tuxes, he even picked out a tie for me, saying I needed something to lighten me up. As soon as I saw the pink in his hand, I immediately said no but somehow he convinced me and I knew there was no point in fighting it anymore.

As Taylor makes his way to my parents house, I tell myself I will only be there for a couple hours and than I will go home to think of a plan to get my girl back. I just want to be left alone, maybe drink myself into oblivion so I don't feel. Feeling is the worst part of this. Feeling makes me want to crawl into a hole and never come out. As we pull up and I get out of the car, I see Elliott with Maddy and I instantly want Anastasia here with me, I wonder if they know what happened. I quickly say hellos and walk into the backyard. I don't plan on talking to anyone if I don't have to, all that does is get me in trouble and pushes people away. My family sits around the table talking as my father makes his way to the stage so he can give his speech, I just hope he doesn't ramble on like he normally does. Everyone is clapping and saying congratulations when I hear that beautiful voice, the one that captivated me the first time. She's here? No one said anything to me about her, and when I look up, I see how beautiful she looks. That's when I notice her dress, fuck does she look sexy. And than I see that my tie, matches her dress. I can't imagine what she would think if she saw me, would she think that I was following her? Because as much as I had thought about doing it, I knew it wouldn't end well for us and I didn't want to ruin things more than I already had.

When she says that they are going to take a quick break, I decide that it's time I talk to her so I make my way to the back of the make-shift stage my parents had set up. When I hear her crying, it breaks me. I just want to reach out and hold her, apologize, tell her how much of a stupid asshole I am. I would probably get down on bended knee and ask her to be my wife if I knew she wouldn't hesitate. Fuck, what is wrong with me? I'm just about to make my presence known when I hear her talking to someone about Georgia. Georgia? Why Georgia? Oh right, her family. Maybe I should follow her there, there's nowhere for her to run away to if I tried to talk to her. Yes, that's why I will do. I will deal with the skank when I get back.

I make my way into the house to make the necessary phone calls before she can see me, but just as I'm about to speak I hear her voice, sounding like nothing was wrong. She gives her speech to my sister which I don't pay attention to, I know I'm a horrible person but her voice just does something to me. As she starts singing again, the words call to me like I'm who they were meant for.

_I'll sing it one last time for you  
Then we really have to go  
You've been the only thing that's right  
In all I've done_

_And I can barely look at you_  
_But every single time I do  
I know we'll make it anywhere  
Away from here_

_Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear_

_Louder louder  
And we'll run for our lives  
I can hardly speak I understand  
Why you can't raise your voice to say_

_To think I might not see those eyes  
Makes it so hard not to cry  
And as we say our long goodbye  
I nearly do_

As much as I want to talk to her, I don't want to make her cry here, so I decide to write her a note and find my mother so she can pass it to her for me. Start of my plan is in motion, I just hope it goes as smooth as I would like. She will be mine again, I just know it. I may be a cocky bastard but we belong together, two pieces of the same soul.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen: Tell Me

**I have loved you from the moment you touched me  
Through the hard times and the sunshine  
I have loved you**

xxxxx

APOV

I'm so glad the night is finally over but I'm sad that I never saw or spoke to Christian. When I came back from my mini breakdown and I couldn't spot him anywhere, I knew then that he didn't want to see me and I couldn't help but be pissed off at myself for walking away from our fight. It never solves anything and mama always told me that if you put your heart into something, follow it through because you will end up regretting it later if you don't. Well, here I am regretting it because I'm a stupid idiot! I have to keep reminding myself that he's not Liam, and he has to realize that I'm not Laurel. I may be selfish at times, but I mean well.

Just as I'm on my way to find Grace to say goodbye, I see her walking towards me, her expression looking a little sad.

'Hi hunny, you were amazing up there. You definitely sing like an angel.' she says.

I find myself blushing, 'thank you, Grace. I had a lot of fun up there tonight, considering the circumstances. Where did Christian go, by the way? He was there and than all of a sudden gone.'

'He said he had a business meeting he had to attend, but here. He wanted me to give you this.' She hands me an envelope. 'Ana, sweetie, I know it's not my place and this is between the two of you, but I couldn't help but notice his mood tonight. He seemed really sad and heartbroken. Have you talked to him yet?' I shake my head. 'I could see it in his eyes when you were singing, that boy is head over heels in love with you and I also know that you are with him. Don't let this opportunity pass you by, love. True love only comes once in your life, I believe that's the two of you. You've both been through so much, separate and together, and I can only hope that you find your way back to each other. You can come to me for anything, Ana, I just want you to know that.'

I give her a hug and whisper, 'thank you.' Not much else will come through with the big lump in my throat. I say all my goodbyes and make my way out front to wait for the car.

xxxxx

As I sit in the back of the car, I can't help but look at the envelope in my hands. Should I open it? What if he's telling me that he's done and never wants to see me again? I know Grace said he's in love with me, but maybe it's all a game to him. I decide on booking my ticket to Georgia to distract myself.

**Hi mama! Got the red eye, flight leaves at midnight ~ A**

**Okay baby girl, your room is ready** **for you, have a safe flight ~ M**

After texting my ma, I realize I should probably message everyone else too.

**Hey guys, just a heads up that I'm going to be out of town for the next couple days. If you need me, shoot me a text. Love A**

**Wtf sis? ~ Chase, Nix & Sean (three separate messages)**

**Have fun chicky! Relax, everything will be fine! ;) ~ Mads & Elliott**

**Tell Ma & Pa me and Lucy say hi. We might join you. ILY ~ Danny**

I'm so glad I have the family I do. I don't even bother answering back because if I do, I will just break down again and I really don't want to. I don't want to burden them with my issues, they worry about me enough as is. As the car pulls up to my apartment, I tell him to wait just so I can run in and grab my stuff. I quickly pack the essentials, knowing that mama usually has stuff for us at the house incase of situations like this one.

Before I know it, I'm at the airport waiting in line to get on the plane. That letter is calling my name, tempting me. I decide to wait till I'm in my seat, first class is rarely occupied so I know I won't have nosy people around me. I'm in a daze, I don't pay attention to anyone or anything until the stewardess comes by. I order vodka and orange juice, alcohol always numbs the pain. Maybe I will just get drunk for the next couple days, try to forget everything. Once I'm comfortable and left alone, I grab the envelope from my purse and brace myself for the worst.

_My Dearest Anastasia,_

_I can't express how sorry I am for everything that has happened and my stupid reaction to something that shouldn't even matter. I have sat with my phone in my hand every day since you walked out, debating on whether or not I should call you. I've almost shown up at your front door to beg you to talk to me, but didn't want you to slam the door in my face._

_From the first moment I saw you, you have done something to my heart and soul, I feel empty with you gone. When I saw you at my parents house tonight, I wanted so badly to talk to you but was so captivated by your beauty that every time I tried, I couldn't find the words. That's what you do to me, Ana. You leave me speechless. Every time I'm away from you, I'm anxious but excited at the same time because I never know what to expect from you, but that's one of my favorite things. When I look into your eyes, I see forever, a_ _forever that makes me happy because I have you by my side._

_I understand if you never want to speak to me again, but I just wanted you to know how I feel and how much I hate myself for letting you walk out that door. It was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made. I thought I knew what love was, but I didn't have a clue until you. I will honestly spend the rest of my life proving to you just how much you mean to me. I want nothing more than to say this to your face, but incase this doesn't go my way, at least you know._

_I love you, Anastasia. I think I loved you from the very start. I will be not so patiently waiting for a response, I hope you will put me out of my misery soon._

_Always & Forever Yours_

_Christian_


	17. Chapter 17

**Either all** **you amazing people can read my mind (and if that's the case...creepy lol) or we all think on the same level! I could have taken so many different routes with this after the last chapter...plane crash (done too many times), C having an accident, etc. BUT I'm all abut the HEA so you don't have to worry!**

**I can't believe how many views & reviews I've gotten for this, THANK YOU! each and every one of you! xox J**

Chapter Seventeen: Cant Breathe

**Now I can't breathe  
If I'm not breathin' with you  
I can't sleep  
If all I'm dreamin' is you  
Can't you see  
I've got no air without you  
I can't breathe, I can't breathe**

xxxxx

APOV

...I...oh god. He loves me? He really loves me. I wish I could take myself off the plane and run to him, but since we are already in the air, I don't feel like jumping to my death. I definitely feel like I made the biggest mistake now, I'm such an idiot!

I will call him in the morning. Yes, that's what I will do, I will talk to him and tell him how I feel. If he can do it than so can I. Now the flight seems to be taking forever, I can't wait to be at my mamas and think. Where do we go from here? He says he sees forever, does he really mean that? Hearing him express how he feels has really opened my eyes and occupied my brain. I seriously think I smell smoke, that's how much I'm thinking. Maybe over thinking, but hey, it's what I do best. Maybe I should just leave it for a day or so...god, there's too many maybes!

I decide that I should try to get some sleep if I want to keep thinking, so that's what I do.

_Standing infront of a beautiful country house, I can't help but be amazed at the beauty of it all. The pillars by the front door, the colored rocks that cover the walls. Each window has white shutters that add character, and there's big vines going up either side. Walking around to the side of the house, I see a huge backyard, but it's not that that stops me in my tracks. I see my beautiful man running around chasing three little children. Are they mine? Am I in someone else's world? All of a sudden they start running towards me, 'mommy! Mommy, your home!' They are the most beautiful girls I have ever seen; one looking identical to me while the other two look identical to their daddy. That's when I see him walking towards me, 'Good afternoon, Mrs Grey, we missed you today._'

All of a sudden, I wake with a start. For the second time in two hours, I am left speechless. I've never had a dream like that before, I don't know if I should be freaked out or happy. Can dreams really come true? Only time will tell!

xxxxx

The plane has finally landed and as I make my way through the terminal, I see Bobby waiting for me.

'Hey Boob, how's it goin? I bet your so excited to come get me in the middle of the night.'

He laughs, 'how many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me boob? I figured that would have stopped as soon as you learned what they were!'

'I was five when I gave you that name, Bobby, I thought it was funny and I do it now just to see your reaction.' I give him a hug, 'it's so nice to see you!'

Bobby has been with my parents as long as I can remember, we used to call him uncle which made him happy since he never had any nieces or nephews. He grabs my bags and heads towards the car, 'your mom told me to tell you, even though this is an unexpected trip, you are expected to find a dress and attend the gala at the Country Club.' Oh joy, I think to myself. At least mama knows I have a boyfriend so she won't be trying to pawn me off on the next bachelor, I've always hated those stupid things. All people do is parade around in overly expensive clothes, trying to show off how much money they have. Thinking about it makes me miss Christian even more. Should I tell him about my dream? Ugh, why I keep asking myself questions I don't have the answer to is beyond me.

The ride to my parents place is quiet, but Bobby knows that's how I like it. It gives me time to compose myself before I have to face everyone, and knowing mama and Grammy, they will have a ton of questions. I hope I made the right choice by coming here. I do miss my family but I probably should have talked to Christian before I just took off, tried to figure out where we stood and I could have actually heard him say those words to me.

Just as I feel the tears fall down my face, Bobby lets me know we are home. As I look at the house to take it in, I see the lights on. Crap! Was hoping to avoid this till morning. I slowly make my way up the steps only to be face to face with my Papa.

'Hi my angel, come here and give your old man a hug. Shh, sweetie, it's okay, you don't need to cry.'

'I can't help it, I missed you guys so much. Who else is up?'

'No one. When your mama told me that you were coming, I knew something was wrong and I wanted to talk to you before the ladies got ahold of you. Come sit on the swing with me.' He grabs my hand and leads me to the porch swing. All the memories came flooding back only to make me more sad. It almost makes me want to move home, but it's not where my heart is.

'So, what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?'

I sigh, 'oh papa, everything. You know how mama and daddy sent us all on a trip to Mexico right?' He nods. 'Well, I met a boy there. The first boy since Liam, I was closed off at first but as soon as I started talking to him, I fell. Hard. He's amazing, he's sweet, funny, strong, handsome, everything I've ever wanted in a man. Everything was going great and than we got in a fight. He had been told that I'm only with him for his money and instead of talking about it, I did what I do best. I ran.

'We still haven't talked but he left a letter for me with his mom and I read it on the flight. He told me he loves me, papa. We've both been through so much before we met, I think we are still holding onto our insecurities, but he should know that I'm not that kind of person. I just don't know what to do.'

He looks at me, 'do you love him?'

'I think I do, but..'

'No, no buts. Do you love him, Anastasia?'

'Yes...' I find myself looking down, playing with the hem of my shirt.

'Listen to me little one, this old man isn't around just for looks. You are such a beautiful woman, Ana. You have blossomed so much just in the last year, you deserve to be happy. You deserve to have someone who will take care of you, who will love you unconditionally, someone who will tell you every day how much you mean to them. I don't know this kid, but I know that if he's captured your heart, he's definitely something special.

'Don't keep living in the past, nothing good comes of it and you will only regret it later in life if you let this guy go. I never liked that kid Liam, I knew he was never good for you. You say you loved him but I know deep down it was never that. If it was than you wouldn't have a heart to give to this new one. You need to do what is right for you, you need to live and stop worrying about everyone else. We will all be here for support when you need it. A shoulder to cry on when you feel alone, and and ear to listen, even if all you want to do is cry. Now, get your butt on up to bed, your Grammy has a day planned full of shopping tomorrow and I want you in tip top shape because we all know how she is.' We laugh. 'Oh and angel?'

'Yes papa?' He gives me a soft smile, 'don't tell no one that we talked, I don't need your Grammy or mama thinking I'm deep and all that crap.' I laugh again, 'thank you papa, I love you so much.' I give him a big hug before heading upstairs. Deep down I know what I have to do, it's about time I started thinking of what I want in life, and what I want is back in Seattle. Tomorrow I will definitely be making that phone call.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen: Tell Me How You Like It

xxxxx

Waking up in my old bedroom makes me feel more comfortable than it should. I feel rested, renewed. I know I probably won't feel like that once I get downstairs, maybe I should just skip breakfast and go for a drive. As I shower and get dressed, I throw on an old pair of cut off shorts, a tank top and my cowboy boots. I decide after my drive that I will take Buggsy for a ride before Grammys big shopping extravaganza.

As I make my way downstairs, I see my dad.

I give him a hug and kiss, 'hi daddy. Where is everyone else?'

'Hey Annie. Everyone is out back, you going to come say hi?'

I shake my head, 'no, I think I'm gonna go for a drive. Where are the keys for Chase's car?' He goes into the kitchen and brings them back to me. 'Be careful baby girl.' I smile, 'always daddy! I shouldn't be more than an hour!'

I wander into the garage to find the only baby my brother will probably ever have, brand spankin' new 2013 Dodge Charger, black as night. He will probably kill me for this but after I explain how I needed to just let go, he will understand. I hope.

I jump in and start her up, listening to the engine purr as I plug my iPod in and search for the perfect song. Florida Georgia Line should do just fine, I decide as I pull out of the drive and head down the road. I'm so glad the windows are all tinted, it's not like I planned on going as fast as I was, but fuck did it feel good. It's almost like running or singing when I drive like this, nothing matters, my brain doesn't go into overdrive. I let the lyrics take over.

_Do you like it when the meter's jumpin'?_

_You like the sound of them horses runnin'?_

_Do you like it when the tweeter's tweetin'?_

_Do you like it when the back seat's bumpin'?_

_Do you like a little kick in your coke_

_Do you like it goin' up in smoke_

_Do you like it on a gravel road_

_We can keep it on the down low_

_[Chorus]_

_Tell me how you like it (tell me how you like it) _

_You know I wanna try it (know I wanna try it)_

_Baby if you don't mind it (if you don't mind it)_

_We can kick it down in four and you can drive_

_Pretty girl you can ride it_

_We can all night it (we can all night it)_

_You don't have to hide it (you don't have to hide it)_

_Just tell me how_

_Tell me how you like it_

_Do you like it on a riverbank_

_Do you like it when the sun done sank_

_Do you like it when the full moon's high_

_And it's shinin' down into your drink_

_Do you like it when the tailgate's down_

_Do you like it when we take it to the ground_

_Tell me baby, how does that sound_

_Either way, you know it's goin' down_

_Baby why you gotta look so pretty_

_With your hair so soft and long_

_You're damn sure turnin' me on_

_Tonight, we gettin' out of the city_

_Leave it all behind, get a little lost_

_Baby you make the call_

As I'm heading down the straight stretch towards the airport, I see a patrol car sitting off to the side of the road than I glance down at the speedometer. I know there's not a chance in hell I will slow down in time so I just keep going, thanking The Lord that the road is empty this early in the morning. As I pass the car, I see him pull out but he doesn't put his lights on. He must know the car, I think to myself, because he won't have any idea it's a girl driving it. As I can see my destination, I start to slow down until I'm close enough to whip around and park. A cloud of dust surrounds both cars and I wait for it to clear before I step out, as I do, I see the driver of the cop car.

'Well, look who it is, officer Billy.' He shakes his head and laughs, 'if I knew it was you, I would have pulled you over a ways back. I figured it was just Chester being a dick.' He comes and gives me a hug, 'how you doin sweetheart? I thought you hit it big in Seattle? That's what your brother tells me anyways.'

I was always thankful for my brothers and all their friends. Billy treated me like I was his own family, and around here that means something big. We don't live in a big neighborhood but all of us kids got along great. 'Im doing okay, just came home for a little breather. I've actually met someone, I haven't been this happy in a long time.' I crawl up to sit on the hood of the car and he joins me.

'So, you and Liam split up than? Finally?' I laugh, 'yes, the worst breakup ever but at the same time I'm thankful because I wouldn't have met Christian. Liam is a lying, cheating...horses ass pretty much. I caught him in bed with someone else and here's the funny part. The girl he was cheating with, was actually Christians ex.'

He looks shocked, 'so...how did the two of you meet exactly? And how did you figure all that out?' Thinking about it makes me smile, 'we met in Mexico actually, total fluke. His brother went to school with Danny and Christian was at Harvard the same time Nix was. We found out about the two whores when I ended up breaking the bitches nose.'

'You've always been a fighter, Annie. Hey, did I ever tell you that Stephy moved to Seattle?' I shake my head. 'Yeah, it's been a few years now. I know you guys never got along in high school, but times have changed.'

'Bill, I wasn't the one with the issues. She was always jealous, accusing me of taking everything away from her when I didn't. I'm sorry to say, but your sister is a fucking whack job, I don't know how you got all the looks and the brains and she was left with nothing.' He glares at me, 'okay, she really wasn't that bad of a person and she wasn't completely ugly but her attitude sure made her that way. Well,' I say jumping off the car, 'I better get my ass home before my mother tries to ground me or something.' We hug, say our goodbyes and I head back towards the house. With Randy Houser singing about not letting something ruin your relationship, I realize I still have to make that phone call. I punch the numbers into the hands free and listen to the ringing

'Grey!'

Is he always that snarky? 'Hey...it's me.'

'Ana, oh god baby, I miss you so much. I am so sorry.'

'I know, I'm sorry too.' I take a breather. 'Look, I uh...I got your letter. We both made mistakes that night and I really regret walking away when we should have solved it. And I'm sorry too for not getting ahold of you to talk. I was losing my mind so I can't imagine how you were feeling.'

'Its okay, you have nothing to apologize for. I love you, Anastasia. Can I see you please?'

Oh crap. 'Uh, no?'

'No? What do you mean no?'

'Well, I'm not exactly home, in Seattle. I'm at my parents place in Georgia. I'm sorry, I just...I just needed to get away for a break. Everything was hitting me at once and I didn't know what to do.'

'Its okay baby, just call me when you get home. Promise? I love you.'

'I promise, I love you too Christian.'

I hang up the phone as I pull into the drive. I wish he was here, but I know he's not and that makes me really sad. I make my way up the stairs and open the door, I take in the sight before me and put my hand over my mouth as the tears start to fall. Roses everywhere, I mean...everywhere, and there he is standing in the middle of the room amongst them all, 'Christian.'


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen: Holding Onto Heaven

**I keep listening to my chest  
For a beat but there's nothing left  
It's been a week since I've seen you  
And I still can't believe it  
'Cause I'm dying inside alone  
And every day we gotta be apart  
I'm like a baby with a broken heart  
But the second that I'll see you  
You will know how much I need you  
Because I'll never be letting you go**

xxxxx

CPOV

'Christian.'

God, she looks so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off hers. 'I wasn't planning on making you cry baby, I just wanted to give you some flowers.' I smile.

'Some flowers? Christian, it looks like a rose bush threw up in here! But, I love it, and I love you. So much.' She wraps her arms around my neck and gives me the most sensual kiss. Our body language definitely is a tell tale sign that we've been apart for too long, I can't wait till I can get her alone, show her and her body just how much she really means to me.

'So,' she whispers as she breaks the kiss, 'why so many roses?'

I can feel myself blushing, and I do not blush. 'Well, one for every minute you've been a part of my life, for every second you've crossed my mind, which is a lot by the way.' She laughs. 'Every time I've missed you, woken up beside you, made love to you, kissed you. Don't cry baby, I'm just saying what's in my heart.'

APOV

This man is amazing. I have cried more in the last 24 hrs than I have in the last week, but I'm still so happy that he's actually here. 'As much as I would love to stay here with you, my grandmother has an afternoon planned for shopping. I'm sorry babe, I wish I could get out of it.'

'Its okay, baby, really. Your dad has already planned an afternoon for me, him and your grandfather so you go and have fun,' he says with his illegal smile. 'You go, spend money and buy yourself something pretty. Your mom told me about the gala tomorrow night so I already have a tux.' His eyes suddenly change to a dark gray full of desire as he leans in and whispers 'my tie is silver.'

And there I am, left in the living room shocked and horny as fuck. 'Oh you ass, you will pay for that later, mark my words!' I scream after him.

xxxxx

Towards the end of the afternoon, my feet are killing me. 'Grams, are we done yet? We've gone to every single store and I'm tired. Why am I still here? I found my dress hours ago!' She laughs 'Annie dear, we are having a ladies day. We are going to go grab a bite to eat since your mother hasn't heard from the guys yet, and than you and Mr Hot Pants can go do whatever you want. We've missed you, so just humor us okay?' I smile and nod my head since I know better than to argue with the old bat.

'Alright, where are we going because I could really go for a greasy cheeseburger and a chocolate milkshake.' They both agree and we make our way to the local pub. While we sit and talk, or my mom and grandma do I should say, I take a look around the place and see that it hasn't changed much. The autographed pictures of celebrities still hang on the wall, Maddy's dad, Lee, is still the bartender/owner. I remember he used to sneak us in the back and into his office than bring us French fries so we would keep quiet. I feel a smile creep onto my face as I remember the old days.

The first day I met dear old Madeline in preschool, we did not like each other. I got pissed off and pulled her hair because she stole my favorite Barbie. After that though, we've been inseparable. I don't know what I would do without her in my life, she keeps me grounded and she's helped me screw my head back on a couple times. Just then my phone starts ringing. Seeing its her, I get a huge smile on my face.

'Hey Mads, I was just thinking about you, what's up?'

She laughs, 'not much, what you up to?'

'Oh you know, just staring at some hot bartender. What about you?'

'Just staring at some hot brunette across the bar, she won't even look my way though. And by the way, eww, that's my dad.'

'You're here?! Oh my god, you bitch! Get your ass over here!' We hang up as I see her, with Elliott in tow of course. I get up excitedly to greet her than do the introductions to my family. 'I can't believe your here, what made you decide to come?' I ask. 'Christian called and asked if we wanted to tag along. I said hell ya because its been way to long since I've been home to see my dad and I figured I could introduce him to Elliott. He loves him by the way. He loves both of them, he says congrats to you on finally picking a keeper.'

We stay there for a couple more hours just chatting and it brings a smile to my face to be back with my family. I tell Mads and Elliott my plan for the night and before I leave, we make plans for us girls to get ready together for the gala tomorrow. As much as I don't want to go, I'm happy to have my best friend and boyfriend by my side.

xxxxx

When we get home, we find the men down by the water. As I get closer, I can see my dad trying to yeah Christian how to clean a fish and I can't help but laugh at the expression on his face. 'Hey babe, someone would think you've never done this kind of thing before.' I laugh and he scowls at me, 'Thats because I haven't. This is disgusting, I don't know how you guys do this.'

'We all grew up doing this with my dad, he considered it bonding. We will have you gutting them yourself and hunting too before you know it.' I wink at him. 'Hey daddy, mind if I steal my man back? I'm going to take him down to the lake for a bit.'

'Sure Annie, but don't do anything I wouldn't do okay?'

'Oh come on dad, that's kind of a loaded statement don't you think?' We all laugh. As we make our way back to the house, I grab the blankets I had brought out and we make our way to the barn. 'We are going to take Buggsy, I hope you don't mind. It's been a while since I've ridden her and I don't feel like driving. He looks at me wide eyed, 'uh, who's Buggsy?'

'Shes my horse, my grandparents bought her for me for my sixth birthday. She's getting old and doesn't get taken out much anymore but I try to take her for a small walk whenever I'm home. It's not that far, don't worry, your safe with me.' As we get all situated, I can tell Christian is nervous, but as he puts his hands around my waist, I can feel him relax just a little. The ride is quiet, both of us taking in our surroundings. I will never get tired of seeing how beautiful everything is, so green. My grandpa always puts the boys to work when they come visit, says it helps them build character. I catch myself laughing out loud, 'what's so funny Ms Steele?' Christian asks.

'I was just remembering one summer, papa had all four boys out here cleaning it up. They were so pissed off because they were more interested in chasing girls or playing their stupid video games. In Danny's case, he had gotten a brand new car that he had yet to drive. Anyways, they kept bitching because I never had to help them so they hatched a plan to attack me and give me a mud bath. Little did they know that I knew everything. I was waiting, there was me, my parents and grandparents all waiting with sling shots and water balloons. That was one of the best afternoons we've ever had out here. Chase eventually got ahold of me and threw me in the lake though, but it was still fun. Just so you are aware, Mr Grey, I know this place like the back of my hand. You don't stand a chance with me if you try anything.' I hear him chuckle behind me. 'I wouldn't dream of it baby, and besides, if you go in the lake, I'm going in with you.'

We finally make it to our destination and hop down from my horse, taking it all in. 'I haven't been here in a couple years. I've felt guilty about it since I've come back, but there's no place like home right? This place has always been somewhere I've come to think and be alone, but now I want to share it with you. You mean the world to me, Christian, and as scary as this may sound, I can't imagine myself with anyone else but you. I know we haven't known each other for that long, and whether or not we face this world together, I still want you in my life. You and Maddy are tied as my best friend, just don't let her know that.' I let out a nervous laugh and look up at him, his eyes full of love. 'I...I had a dream on the flight here, and for some reason I'm really nervous to tell you.'

'You can tell me anything, Anastasia, I hope you know that. No matter how big or small you may think it is, if it involves you, I want to know.' I sigh, 'well, I'm mostly worried because I don't know what to make from it and I don't know where you stand with us. Umm, I dreamt that I was standing infront of this extraordinarily beautiful house with a huge yard. When I went towards the back, I was stopped by you...and three little girls. They looked just like us, and than you called me Mrs Grey.' When I stop babbling, I see he's watching me closely. As he leans in closer he whispers against my lips, 'I would love nothing more than to share that with you.' I'm shocked, what? He can't be serious, he's fucking with me. Until I hear those three words.

'Marry me, Anastasia.'

**Okay, I know another cliffhanger BUT I need your help :) next chapter will be them at the gala SO...is Stephanie making an appearance or should I work her into a different chapter? I will admit that I have a little somethin' somethin' up my sleeve ;)**

**Also, should I jump ahead again to a few months down the road, year maybe? I have plans regardless, but just wondering if I should speed it up a little bit and your guys' input means a lot.**

**Sorry if this chapter seemed kinda blah until the end, I've been fighting with it since I posted the last chapter, so please bare with me. As usual, THANK YOU! I wouldn't have gotten this far if it wasn't for you amazing people. I also had a different direction for this story, but after reading a couple that had the same ideas as me, I didn't want it to seem like I was 'copying' them.**

**Much love xox J**


	20. Chapter 20

**Please don't hate me! I was trying to get this up last night but was having a bad one with the kids so I spent majority of today trying out different scenarios. Hopefully this one will help give a little insight to Ms Stephanie ;) again, hope I don't disappoint. Seems I go through phases where I can write 5 chapters a day and than all of a sudden it takes me almost a week just to write one. Plus, the nice weather we are finally getting here in British Columbia is distracting!**

**THANKS FOR THE LOVE xox J**

Chapter Twenty: Next To You

**We're made for one another  
Me and you  
And I have no fear  
I know we'll make it through  
One day when the sky is falling  
I'll be standing right next to you**

xxxxx

This cannot be happening. I'm dreaming, I know it. I can't think, I can't speak. All I can do is stare at this gorgeous man sitting in front of me. I almost feel like I'm having an out of body experience, looking down at the two of us trying to make sense of what just happened.

'Ana, please say something. Your starting to scare me baby.' He looks so sad.

'Say it again.'

'Ana, please...' Oh what a baboon. I shake my head, 'not that, ask me again.' A smile slowly creeps onto his face. 'Anastasia, will you please make me the happiest man in the world and become my wife?'

'Yes! Abso-fucking-lutely, yes!' He tackles me to the ground and attacks me with a kiss. This wasn't like any other kiss we've shared, I could feel every ounce of love pouring out of him and it only made me want him more. I take his face in my hands and whisper to him, 'make love to me, Christian. Please, I need you.' I slide his shirt off and can't help but stare at his toned chest and arms, he really is the most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on, even if he doesn't believe it. He takes my shirt off before he starts kissing me again, slowly trailing them down my neck to my breasts, kneading them in the most sensual way. 'Mmm...' Is all that I'm able to force out and I can feel him smile against me. He moves his hands down my body and slowly slips his fingers into my shorts and than into me. 'Oh baby, you are so wet, you never disappoint.' I feel my back arch as he finds my sweet spot, working me to my first orgasm since we were last together. 'Your so beautiful when you fall apart baby.' He sees that I still can't seem to form a sentence, so he starts taking off the rest of my clothes and than does the same to himself. He starts kissing up my body before he finally enters me, 'oh god...oh Christian, I love you so much.'

'I love you too baby. We will have that little family soon, I promise but right now I want to practice, and as much as possible.' I feel myself get wetter, and why that was so fucking hot, I have no clue. Maybe the thought of having his babies. What the hell is wrong with me? Too soon, Ana...way too soon. He grabs my legs and throws them over his shoulders, and holy fuck. He's hitting all the right places, nice and deep. 'Christian..' 'I know baby, I want you to cum for me, come on Ana.' We both find our release at the same time and as he collapses on my chest, I can't help but feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I start to smile as I think of the future and all the good things about to come. I never want to let him go, and yes it may be fast, but you don't get anywhere if you don't take chances. We lay there for a little while longer, enjoying each others company and not wanting to be anywhere else in the world. Life officially starts now.

xxxxx

As us women are sitting at the salon to get ready for tonight, I can't help that my mind is elsewhere. Last night was just so perfect, I don't care if I don't have a ring yet. Plus, it means I don't have to explain myself to anyone just yet.

'What are you smiling about over there, Steele?' Maddy asks.

'I will tell you later, I promise.' I grab my phone so I can text Christian.

Hey baby, I miss you! ~ A

I miss you too. When are you coming back? I need your kisses. ~C

I don't know but hopefully not too much longer. Hey, have you told your brother yet? ~A

Yeah, I hope you don't mind. I can't keep much away from him so you better tell that friend of yours before he does. ~C

Of course I'm not mad! I will tell her when we are out of earshot from the nosy women. I love you ~A

I love you too baby ~C

I look around to make sure no one is listening and than when I see the coast is clear I lean over to my best friend, 'I have a secret..'

'OH MY GOD YOUR PREGNANT!' she screams...fuck.

'No, no I am not,' I give her my famous glare. 'And if you will keep your damn voice down, I will tell you. I don't want anyone else knowing yet, but apparently mine already told yours so...I'm engaged. He asked me last night and I said yes.' She jumps up scaring the lady doing her manicure and runs to give me a hug. 'We are going to be sisters! Elliott asked me last night too. Oh my god, Ana, this is so fucking awesome!'

'Just so you know, there's no way in hell I am doing a double wedding. And besides, I want mine here so Seattle is all yours.' The rest of the afternoon, we sit and do a bit of planning, trying to distract ourselves from the boring night we have ahead of us.

xxxxx

Sitting in the back of the car on the way to the club, I look down and smooth out my dress. Its a one arm Scala in red and silver that comes mid-thigh. Since I paired with my black Christian Dior black satin pumps, it definitely make me look older especially with my hair in my signature do - curled down my back. 'You look very hot baby.' Christian whispers in my ear. I can't help but smile, he always knows just the right words. 'So do you, my handsome fiancé.'

As we pull up outside, the butterflies suddenly appear; we are telling my parents tonight and I don't know how they are going to take it. We called Christians family along with my brothers this morning to fill them in, mostly because we know there is going to be press here tonight and we didn't want them caught off guard. Elliott and Mads decided they would wait and give us this moment, I told them I feel bad but they told us that we have both been through too much and deserve to be happy. 'You know, Christian,' I whisper, 'we have to figure out what to do for your brother and Maddy when we get home. They deserve to celebrate their engagement as well.' He nods in agreement as we climb out of the car and make our way inside. It's been so long since I've been here that I almost forgot what it looked like, but decorated in mini lights, candles and flowers, you would never guess that it was a country club we were at. Since my parents and grandparents decided to leave before us, I start looking for them but get sidetracked when I see Billy's parents. 'Mr and Mrs Wilson, hello! It's so wonderful to see you.'

'Hello Anastasia, such a surprise to see you here. Last I talked to your mother you were living in Seattle with Madeline.' Mrs Wilson says. 'Who is this?'

'This is my boyfriend, Christian.' they shake hands. 'We are only here for a couple days and than heading home. I'm surprised Billy never mentioned he saw me yesterday, is he here tonight?'

'Yes he is, actually. He is bringing Stephanie with him and since she showed up unannounced last night, I figured coming here would do her some good. Have you talked to her since school?'

I shake my head, 'no actually I haven't but I was told that she is living in Seattle so I might have to look her up when I get back since we don't plan on being here for long. We better go find my parents though, it was lovely to see you.'

As we are walking away, I can feel my body relax, 'Ana, who were those people and who are Billy and Stephanie?' Christian asks as we finally spot my family. I sigh, 'Billy is really good friends with my brothers and Stephanie is his sister. Her and I never got along in school, apparently I got everything she wanted and she hated me. I never had an issue with her but I was also never popular in school until about Senior year when I...grew. I guess you could call her a bully; at first it wasn't anything physical until one day in gym. We had to play volleyball and were on opposite teams. She purposely hit me in the face with the ball numerous times until the teacher kicked her off the court, and than in the locker room she smashed my face into the lockers almost breaking my nose. After that, she wasn't in school anymore, so I don't know if she was kicked out, taken out or just never showed up but not once did I ever do anything to her.' I take a breath, 'Billy tried making excuses for her to my brothers up until he saw my face and the bruises and honestly, yesterday was the first time I've heard her name, said anything to do with her period in 6 years and it makes me dislike her all over again. So, if you see a skinny blonde bimbo, run!'

'Im so sorry baby, I didn't know.' I can't help but smile at the love of my life. 'Hey, I'm okay, really, Mads was there for me through the whole thing and I think if it wasn't against the law for a guy to hit girls than Sean would have had a fuckin hay day with her. He felt bad because he actually liked her at one point and than its like something happened and she just went nuts. She definitely wasn't the same as she was when we were kids. But anyways, lets go say hi to my family, share our news and have a fantastic night. I love you, Mr Grey.' He leans down to kiss me, 'I love you too, Steele.'


	21. Chapter 21

I want to take this time to thank the people that do read and review this story, good and bad. But that being said, I received an email this morning from a reviewer who didn't even have the f*ckin guts to sign in when they called my writing terrible (twice because apparently I'm too stupid to see it the first time right?)

I have read quite a few stories on here, good and bad, but if they are not what I like, I don't call that person out and try to make them feel horrible but than again, maybe that's where I differ from people like this guest reviewer, I actually have feelings and care what others think or how they feel. They mentioned that I only had so many reviews, that's fine, I don't care, but how many of those reviews were bad? ONE! (written anyways ;)) What I find funny is that after probably reading all the chapters, they just had to tell me that not only do they hate it but its plain and boring and the same as everyone else's. WELL NO FUCKING SHIT! It may appear the same because it is 50 Shades fanfiction after all you dumb twat!

If you read this and wonder why I'm picking apart your review, it's because I can! Sit there and be pissed off, I really don't fucking care. You mean NOTHING to me and I can't believe I'm wasting space on you but you have ultimately bothered me this morning. I do this because I can and I want to, and it's people like you who stop people from doing what they love. I'm definitely not a writer, my writing may not be the best but I'm not doing this in hopes to get published like some of the authors on here. You want me to shut this down? How about you go fuck yourself and find something better to do than bring people down for something you don't like? Stop wasting everyone's time by reviewing since I apparently wasted your time by holding that gun to your head and forcing you to read this right? Yeah, that's what I fuckin thought.

Now, for those of you I actually do like, if your bored with this story, just let me know. It is quite easy to stop writing but its also just as easy to update. If you guys do want another one, let me know and I will try to have it up this afternoon. But if your like this 'awesome' reviewer and don't like it, that's okay, I won't hold it against you, I promise.


	22. Chapter 22

**I just want to apologize for my rant, I shouldn't have given them the satisfaction but it really bothered me. Thanks to every single one of you for your kind words, you definitely made me feel a million times better. To read that so many of you like this, it means I'm doing something right! If any of you have stories that I haven't read, let me know and I will; I know how hard it is to put what's in your mind out there. Hell, I go days where I can't write anything but I still give it a shot when something pops in my head.**

**I love you all! DNLNNCTS...I'm waiting for those cheerleaders though darlin ;)**

**with this chapter, I'm doing CPOV, attempting to do a flashback or two! Again, thank you so so so much! xox J**

Chapter Twenty-One: Here I Am

**To tell the truth I did my best to tell myself  
Hey dont forget the last time  
And I stood there in disbelief  
That how easily you got to me with your eyes  
You reached across the table and you took my hand  
I knew I was in trouble right there and then  
When you broke the ice with a killer smile  
Ordered us a drink and we talked a while  
And I slowly started comin' around  
Now here I am**

xxxxx

CPOV

_'Mr Grey, I would like you to meet my great-niece, Laurel. She just moved here last week and I figured coming to an event like this would open up a lot of doors for her.' Mr Blanc says as he introduces us. I don't know why I'm even talking to this man, I can't stand him. I would rather sit on a pile of fucking nails than have to be here, but I promised my parents that I wouldn't be a no-show this year._

_It's not like she's ugly or anything, and she does look like she has some class. But there is something off about her, 'Hello Ms Hill, are you enjoying your evening?' She bats her eyes, 'I'm having an even better time now, Mr Grey. And please, call me Laurel.'_

I don't know why I have to remember all that shit, I'm standing beside the most beautiful woman in the world and I choose now to remember the one person I vowed to forget. I don't even know how we got together, maybe it's because she wouldn't leave me alone that I finally caved. Eventually I ended up falling for her, but after talking to my mother, she said it probably wasn't love that I felt. God, how come every thing about my relationship with Laurel seems fake? My mother wanted grand kids so maybe that's why I was going to propose to her; maybe I was just tired of playing the same old game. I will be the first to admit that I wasn't always faithful to her, I always felt guilty about it, but I wasn't greedy like she was.

'You having a good time baby?' I ask Ana as she looks at me with those 'fuck me' eyes. 'Yes and no. I'm happy to be here with you, but I hate having to sit in a room full of rich idiots and pretend. It's been the same as long as I can remember and my mother makes me go every time.' Even though we both come from money, I know exactly how she feels. I know I will have to fight Ana to come to events with me, but at least I know the reasons why and that she's with me for me. I won't make that same mistake again, and I definitely won't let Laurel or anyone else try to influence that. 'Well, pretty soon we can make our announcement and than we can leave. Our plane leaves early tomorrow morning, too. I can't wait to get you back home, where I have you all to myself.' I can't believe how lucky I have been to receive this second chance, not only with my beautiful Ana but a second chance at love and happiness. I don't think I truly felt alive until I met her, everything just seemed so dull. Remembering all the fights that Laurel and I used to get into, the worst one being before the breakup;

_'Are you ashamed of me Christian, is that why we never go anywhere?' she screams at me. 'What the fuck are you talking about? I take you anywhere you want to go, buy you anything you want, no questions asked. For fucks sakes, Laurel, I took you to Paris because you just HAD to go. Tell me, what exactly did you do while I was working? I'm pretty sure Jean-Luc had a wonderful time showing you around.' She looks at me stunned, 'Nnn-nothing happened with him, I told you that! He gave me a tour around the city and that was it. It's not my fucking fault you find working so much more interesting than your own god damn girlfriend!'_

_One thing she doesn't realize is, I know. I know everything, I'm Christian Grey and nothing gets by me...EVER! 'You can try to lie your way out of this all you want, but it won't work. It never has and it never will, when will you start to fucking understand that? Why are you even here? I have given you chance after chance to get the fuck out but yet every time I come home, here you are. Half the time you pick a fight before I even have the damn door closed. Haven't you wondered why I haven't touched you? Slept in the same bed as you? I'm not happy, Laurel. I haven't been happy for a long time but your too fucking clueless.'_

_'Dont say that, Christian, I know I make you happy. If I haven't, than we wouldn't still be together after almost five years. Sure we fight but every couple fights, it just shows how in love we are with each other, just please don't push me away. I need you and I know you need me'_

Little did I know at the time, it was only a social thing for her. She claims she loves me, loved me, whatever she wants to say, but after being alone with my thoughts for so long, I finally came to realize that I was with her for all the wrong reasons too. To make my family happy, but I think I'm doing a better job of that now than I ever have before. They adore Ana, and when they heard that we were engaged, they were over the moon. Mom couldn't stop crying, and I'm surprised she held off on the baby comment I knew she had been wanting to ask. I know that if I want a bright future with my lady than I have to let go of the past. I thought I had so I don't know why it keeps creeping up on me, maybe I should go talk to someone to try and figure all this out. 'Christian, it's time babe, now or never.' Ana smiles at me.

'Anastasia and I have an announcement we would like to make. While you ladies were out enjoying yourselves yesterday, Mr Steele and I had a little chat regarding my intentions with his daughter; typical dad thing I'm told. Anyways, I asked if it would be okay with him if I asked his lovely daughter to marry me and he gave me his blessing. I honestly wasn't going to do it this soon but the perfect moment came up and when I asked, she made me the happiest man in the world when she said yes.' I see her mom and grandmother get up to congratulate us, both with years streaming down their faces. 'Im so happy for you, Ana, I know you both will make each other extremely happy. Now, promise you will give me a great-grand baby before I'm six feet under will ya?' Grandma Steele than comes over to me and gives me a kiss on the cheek before she makes her way up to the stage.

'Sorry for the interruption ladies and gentlemen, but as most of you know, we have my beautiful granddaughter here with us this evening. Her and her handsome boy toy have just announced that they are engaged. So, raise your glasses as we toast to the happy couple. Cheers!' I see Ana's face go beat red beside me while I can't keep the grin off mine. 'Boy toy? Really grams?' Ana whines. 'You don't worry about it Annie!' Grandma laughs. Just as we suspected, people were coming up for pictures and gossip. Not long after, I get the alert on my phone telling me the first picture has been posted, but before I can look I feel like I'm being watched. Sure as shit, there's those green eyes looking at me from across the room. The green eyes I've tried to forget for the last 6 months, the green that have been replaced by blue. The green that are now filled with fear, hurt and anger. My final thought, this cannot be good!


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Two: The Game Is Over...Or Is It?

**Invincible  
Is what you think you are  
But you're just so typical**  
**Though you think that you're a star  
You act like  
Everyone revolves around you  
Baby you dropped the ball  
And now the game is through  
'Cause you tried to play both sides  
You got caught up in your lies  
And now you're running  
You're running out of time**

xxxxx

'Ana, I'm just going to run outside and make a phone call, I will be back.' I offer her a smile so she doesn't get worried. 'Okay baby, be fast. I want to get back to my parents house so you can peel me out of this dress.' She whispers with a wink, and I give her a quick kiss before I get up.

Where the hell did she go? I know it was Laurel, and she must know she can't hide from me. Just as I step outside, I hear her voice, 'so engaged, hey? I waited for five fucking years and never got a ring but yet your with her for a day and she gets one?'

'I'd say that I'm happy to see you but I would be lying. What are you doing here Laurel? And what I do is none of your business anymore. You know, I have sat and thought a lot since we split and the more I do, the more things start to make sense. I don't think I ever loved you and I believe you never loved me either. It was a game, Laurel. A sad, pathetic excuse for a game. I allowed myself to feel something for you but it honestly wasn't what I thought it was. See, this is the real kicker so make sure your listening really good. Not only were you cheating on me every time a man would look in your direction, but I had a few of my own toys on the side. By the way, I know about you trying to sleep with not only Sawyer but Taylor as well. How did that work out for you?

The first time I met you, I knew there was something different about you and I couldn't figure it out. You were like a fucking fog that just wouldn't clear, you refused to leave me alone. I don't know how I allowed myself to be fooled by someone like you for all that time, and since meeting Anastasia I finally started to see the person you were all along.' I can see tears forming in her eyes, but I know they are fake. 'I loved you from the moment I met you, Christian, why don't you believe me? It was only you, always. Those other guys never meant anything I swear! Losing you was the biggest mistake I ever made and I promise, if you give me another chance, I will prove to you just how sorry I am.' She has some nerve, 'Cut the crap, Laurel. Those won't work on me anymore.' All of a sudden her face and eyes go dark, almost like she's possessed, and if I wasn't a master at that look, it might have freaked me out a little. 'You're making a big mistake, Mr Grey. That girl in there won't be able to make you happy, I bet she's only using you to get ahead, that's the way she's always been.' She steps close enough to me that she can touch my chest which makes me recoil away from her. 'Don't ever touch me again, do you hear me? I know who and what you are, I know all about you. The games you play, people you manipulate, it won't get you very far in life,_ Ms WILSON_.' I see the shock register in her eyes. 'Oh, yes. I know, I know everything and tonight Ana confided in me a little story about highschool. You are a very sick person, you know that? She never did anything to you and you tried to take everything from her. News flash, you won't get me ever again. I don't want you to even have the satisfaction of talking to me after this because your lucky that I'm the one who saw you and not her. Now if you will excuse me, I am going back inside to get my fiancé so we can head home. I meant every word I said, stay away.' I start to walk away before I turn as I remember something, 'oh by the way, _Stephanie_, don't forget your meds. Don't want you to have a relapse and end up back in the hospital do we?' Stupid psycho bitch just can't let it go can she. Now, I just have to figure out how to tell Ana about this and I just know she is going to lose it.

APOV

I don't know what could be keeping Christian. He did say he was only going to be a couple minutes, right? I decide I am going to go look for him, but just as I get up I see Billy standing beside me. 'Well, hello Ms Anastasia. How are you? I hear congratulations is in order.' He pulls me into a hug, 'you deserve to be happy, Ana. I'm glad you finally found someone who is able to put and keep that smile on your face.' I smile, 'Thanks Bill, that means a lot coming from you. Christian is a great guy and I'm really glad I met him when I did. There's no secrets between us, and he makes me so happy. I never had this with Liam, I mean we would talk but not like Christian and I. The first night we met, when we talked about everything, I knew he was something special, someone I saw myself with for a long time. I'm really glad that him and I share the same views on our future.' I can't help the huge smile that spreads across my face as I see Christian walking towards us. He is a very gorgeous man but there's something even sexier when he wears a suit. 'Hey baby, sorry I took so long.' he says as he pulls me in for a kiss. I giggle, 'Christian, this is Billy Wilson. Billy, this is Christian.' They shake hands but I can see they are sizing each other up at the same time. 'Nice to meet you, Christian. You have your hands full with this one. Just make sure that when she's upset, there's no cars around that can go fast than 70,' I shoot him a glare. 'What, you never told him about the other morning when I caught you doing 160 down the highway? Gee, Steele, thought you said no secrets.'

'You're an ass Bill. My dad knows what I do, it helps me clear my head. It was either that or a run and for that particular moment in time, I couldn't run fast enough so daddy gave me the keys for Chase's car and I just drove.' I can feel Christians stare the whole time, I knew he wouldn't have been happy about that but it wouldn't have stopped me. 'And besides, Christian distracted me with all those flowers and sweet words and sexiness that I completely forgot about leaving you in a cloud of dust.' I shoot him a wink and they both laugh. 'Alright Billy, it was nice to meet you but I think it's about time that I took this little lady home. Next time your in the Seattle area, let me know and we will get together.'

We finish saying goodnight to my family and making sure Elliott knows to meet us at the airport before we make our way to the car. 'I had a nice time tonight, Christian. Thank you for coming here, it really does mean a lot to me and I can't wait to have moments like these the rest of our lives.'

'I would do anything for you, Anastasia. I love you with everything I have and I know I messed up, I had to make it right. You belong by my side, forever.' After he climbs in the car behind me, he pulls me in for a kiss, and as usual, it leaves me breathless and wanting more. 'I want to get married as soon as possible, Ana. I don't want to wait any longer, and I know you are mine, but I can't wait till you are Mrs Grey and than you really will be mine in every way. You will make me the happiest man in the world becoming my wife, and we can start looking at houses when we get back home. Maybe we can even start talking about starting our own family.' I gasp, can this man be serious? I knew we had mentioned it but we've never talked about it before. 'Your serious, Christian? You really want that with me?' I can feel the tears forming in my eyes. He looks at me and I can see the love, 'of course I do baby, I want it all because that means I will have it all with you. You must admit, when we have kids, they are going to be the most gorgeous kids in the whole world and that's because you will be there mom. I love you, Anastasia, always and forever.'


	24. Chapter 24

**Just a small lovey chapter :)**

Chapter Twenty-Three: Only You

**Only you can make this world seem right  
Only you can make the darkness bright  
Only you and you alone  
Can thrill me like you do  
And fill my heart with love for only you  
Only you can make this change in me  
For it's true, you are my destiny  
When you hold my hand  
I understand the magic that you do  
You're my dream come true  
My one and only you**

xxxxx

APOV

This night couldn't have gone any better. After we got home, Christian and I got lost in each other for what seemed like hours and some of the best sex I've had in a while. Not long after he had fallen asleep, I listen to his light breathing and find myself cuddling into his side, thinking about my life in the last couple months. Before I met him, I was so angry at everything. Life seemed to be perfect for everyone else while mine was put on hold. After sitting at that bar with Christian for a couple hours and seeing someone else that's gone through the same thing as me, I realized that there was a light at the end and I was moving, practically running, to reach it. Even that week that we were apart, I knew he wasn't out of my life and that's what kept me fighting. Fighting for not just my happiness but his as well, we both deserve it.

A feel a smile spreading across as I start to think of our conversation earlier regarding children. I think back to my dream when I saw those three beautiful girls, but who knows if that dream will actually come true. Plus, I've never given it much thought as to how my kids I want, maybe four? All I know is, if Christian is by my side, we will face everything together and if having a dozen kids is what he wants, than he will get them. Maybe.

'What are you thinking about baby? I love that smile but you just look so deep in thought.' I hear him whisper. 'I thought you were asleep and I wasn't tired yet, so I was just thinking about us and what lies ahead.' I lean up so I can look in his beautiful eyes. 'How many children do you see yourself with?' He looks slightly shocked before he gives me an answer, 'honestly Ana. I never thought about it at all before you came into my life. These last couple months have been amazing, and even though they weren't on my mind before, after you told me about your dream, I have found myself thinking of a big family. At least five children, and I want them to all look like you. I don't care if we have boys or girls, as long as they are healthy than I am happy. Like I told you earlier, Anastasia, with you I want it all, and that's why I don't want to waste any more time. Hell, if we keep going the way we have, we might end up with a baby sooner than later.' I think I just fell even deeper in love with this man laying beside me, 'I love you so much, Christian. Remind me to thank Elliott and my brothers for making us go with them to Mexico, because if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have met you and every day since than I only fall harder and faster. You saved me, and I only hope that I can do the same for you.'

'Anastasia, you save me every day that you are a part of my life. Now, I am going to suggest something and I don't want you to freak out but when I said I want to marry you as soon as possible, I meant it. Would you be completely opposed to running away to say, Vegas? As cliché as that is, we can still make it the wedding of your dreams. All I care about is having you along with our families there. Nothing big, but something meaningful at the same time.' I am completely stunned. Vegas? Could I really do that? I mean, I want to be married to him more than anything, but what about the perfect dress? Oh my god, I'm laying here thinking about stupid shit while he probably thinks I don't want to. 'Yes, of course babe! Vegas it is! When do you want to do this?' He gives me his cute little smirk, 'this week. Instead of flying home tomorrow, the four of us can head down there and get things figured out and our families can meet us at the hotel. We can tell your parents in the morning before we leave and call everyone else once we are landed. Oh baby, you make me so unbelievably happy. I love you, Anastasia Steele.' 'And I you, Christian Grey.' Before I even have a second to think, we are lost in each other again, a girl could get used to this, and I get it for the rest of my life.


	25. Chapter 25

**First, I hope you all had an amazing Mother's Day weekend, I know I did. We spent it all with my in-laws, and since my father in-law had a really serious accident at work almost two weeks ago, it was nice to spend time with him and see him with all the grand babies. If I've learned anything in my short life, it's to not take anything for granted because something can be taken away in a split second.**

**Secondly, I am going to try my hardest to get another update out by Thursday afternoon, but if there's the slight chance that I have brain-to-finger issues again, than I won't be able to update till Monday/Tuesday since we are heading out of town. That being said, while we are camping, I will have my phone with me (without service :() but that means I can still write!**

**Thank you to all you wonderful people who read this. I know not everyone reviews (I'm guilty of that as well), but when I do read the ones that get posted or the pm's, it puts a smile on my face. For the next couple chapters, I am going to need help..since I'm from Canada and I have only been to the States once (everyone's been to the place where Magic happens right? Lol) and that was 12 years ago, I have NO clue about anything to do with Vegas, so if someone can give me an idea for a hotel, etc, it would be greatly appreciated. :)**

**Much love xoxo J**

Chapter Twenty-Four : They Dont Know About Us

**Let them say what they say  
Baby they can talk all night and day  
Let them waste their time,  
Rumors ain't never gonna change my mind  
'Cause when you hold me tight,  
I know it's worth the fight  
They don't know the truth,  
They don't know it like we do**

xxxxx

APOV

As I feel myself start to wake up, I realize I really don't want to move, so I lay there with my eyes closed feeling Christian wrapped around me still sound asleep. When I told him he saved me, I was telling him the truth because he really did. I felt so lost and after last night, I know we won't have to face the same heartbreak we did before. Hearing him talk about wanting a family makes my heart swell, Liam and I never once had that kind of conversation but at the same time, I never pictured having kids with him. Not like I have with Christian. The fact that everyone in my family loves him makes me feel so much better. Not that it would change anything, but their opinions definitely matter. How are we supposed to break it to them that we are running off to Vegas? That's one place I never imagined myself going, especially to get married, but if it makes him happy than I will do it. I just hope that some Elvis impersonator isn't the one making us repeat our vows. I feel myself shudder at just the thought of that happening. As the smell of coffee starts wafting into the room, I decide I should probably enter the land of the living and prepare my family for the news.

I slowly get dressed and make my way downstairs, stopping at the bottom to take in the sight before me. There at the table is every single member of my family. Grammy talking to my mom while Papa looks at her with love in his eyes, the same look he's worn for the last 60 years every time he looks at her or hears her name. I see Danny with Lucy, Chase with a pregnant Miranda, Nixon who seems to have a very pissed off Sara by his side, and than there's Sean. Seeing them all, it brings a smile to my face watching them interact; Nixon and Danny throwing muffins across the table and getting scolded by dad is just like the old days. I am so blessed to have each and every person in my life and the fact that I get to add to it makes it that much better. 'Morning everyone.' I say as I make my way into the room, 'morning sleeping beauty. Where's the beast?' I hear Nixon say. I glare at him, 'your lucky I know the rules of the table because I have a few choice words for you.' I laugh while mouthing 'dick' to him while he throws his head back with laughter. 'By the way, when did you guys all get here? I didn't expect to see you will I got back to Seattle.'

'Grey called in a favor for us and here we are. Wouldn't miss a chance to harass our baby sister on getting hitched. By the way, have you read the papers or anything?' Sean says, I shake my head no so he tosses me the trash.

_Seattle's most eligible bachelor is apparently about to tie the knot to Ms Anastasia Steele, daughter of Raymond and Carla Steele of Georgia. The two haven't been together for very long so everyone has their suspicions. When we asked a close source of the family if there were any heirs to the CEO throne on the way, we were told no comment. Guess we will just have to wait and see if this brown haired beauty does in fact, have a bun in the oven. Have to admit, that would be one good looking spoiled kid._

_Others have said that Ms Steele is only after Mr Grey for his money, and since they probably wouldn't say anything if we asked, we did our own digging. Apparently Ms Steele also comes from money, so I wonder if they sit and compare their bank accounts at night? Do I smell a prenup in the near future? Probably. Just wonder which one will be the first to ask._

I can't fucking believe this bullshit! 'People actually get paid to write this fucking garbage?'

'Anastasia Rose Steele, watch your mouth young lady!' Crap. 'Sorry, mother. But I'm really angry. The fact that people go and speculate this...ugh. I can't believe they think this low of me. Am I really that horrible of a person?' I can feel the tears starting to sting my eyes. 'All I did was fall in love and people have nothing better to do than start disgusting rumors. Sure, you get to choose who comes and goes in your life, but I never got a chance with Christian. I knew from the second I saw him that he was going to play a big part in my life and I don't want any of that to change. What if he sees this and starts to freak out again and runs? I don't know if I could handle it a second time.'

'Im not going to leave you, Ana. I've already read the paper and its already been dealt with. Ros is talking to the PR team so we can release our own statement and hopefully everyone will back off,' Christian starts. 'Anastasia, I love you. I think I loved you from the moment I saw you and you are sitting here doubting that. If I have to spend the rest of our lives proving it than I will, but right now I want you to eat your breakfast because we have a long day ahead of us.' With that, he pulls me up into a hug and gives me a sweet kiss which makes me laugh. 'Miranda and Sara, this is my fiancé Christian. Christian, Miranda and Sara, my brothers girlfriends.' He shakes their hands and I find I'm so thankful that they don't give the usual reaction, I think he is too.

xxxxx

After everyone is done eating, I look at Christian to see if its time, he just nods his head. 'Well, I know there is no easy way to say this so we are just going to rip the bandaid off and go from there.' I take a deep breath as everyone looks at me, waiting and wondering what the news could possibly be. 'Christian and I were talking last night and we agreed that we would have the wedding in Vegas. At the end of the week. I know what you are all probably thinking and yes, it may seem a little fast but we both know what we want and we hope that you all will join us. It's just going to be our families, we don't want anything big and we are hoping to keep it out of the press for as long as we possibly can.' As I look around the table, no one is saying a word and looked very surprised. 'Please say something. Like I said, I know you guys must be thinking its too fast, but...'

'Ana, if this is truly what you want than what we think doesn't matter.' Chase says. 'Chase is right, dear. You both are adults and from what we've seen, very deeply in love. I may be old but I know true love when I see it, if I didn't than I wouldn't have married your grandfather. So yes, of course we will be there to help you celebrate and start your new life together. Your mother may fight me on this, but your grandfather and I want to help pay for the wedding and we will start by getting you your dress.' I see my mom glare at my Grammy when she says that, but we both know better than to argue with her.

I hear Christian let out a breath before he starts speaking. 'I really do want to thank you again for welcoming me into your home. Your granddaughter, daughter and sister means the world to me, hurting her isn't even a thought I want to have. I promise all of you that I will take care of her and cherish her for the rest of my life. With that being said, I have already made arrangements for hotel. I just figured we could finalize everything once we got there. Our plane leaves in a couple hours and we will be arriving with Elliott and Madeline, but you guys are more than welcome to show up whenever you would like, we definitely will not stop you.'

After we've sat around discussing the plans a little bit more, it is time for us to leave. Everyone gives us hugs and kisses, along with their blessings and we make our way out to the car. 'I can't believe that in a few short days I am going to have you as my wife, Anastasia. You honestly make me so happy and I can't imagine having anyone else by my side through all the good and bad. You are my life, my heart, my love.'

'Okay, I've officially got to stop thinking sappy thoughts and you have to stop being so damn loving and sweet.' I say to him as I feel the silent tears roll down my cheeks. 'All I've done is tear up every time because it makes me so happy that I have you in my life, and I can't wait either to become your wife. In fact, Im honored that I'm the one who gets the chance to stand by your side through everything. I hope I make you proud, babe. I don't want to embarrass you.' I can feel him glaring at me, but I just can't seem to lift my eyes from my lap. 'Ana, you will never embarrass me. You belong by my side forever do that's where you will stay. It's you and me against the world. Everyone else can go fuck themselves for all I care. I'm not marrying them, I'm marrying you. Your the only one that matters in my eyes.'


	26. Chapter 26

**Alright, I'm attempting this AGAIN since I deleted it the last time I tried. I don't remember much of what was written but I'm giving it my best shot (and now I have Pat Benetar stuck in my head..great lol). I got what little info I could from the web, I know it's not much so I apologize!**

**Just a reminder that I'm going to be gone for the long weekend so no service or Internet for this girl, but I will still have my phone, so I can write. I'm almost thinking I should start writing on paper first so I don't make the same mistake I did this morning (and just maybe, my chapters would be longer lol). Also, I know that you must be waiting for the ball to drop, but I promise that nothing will happen before or during the wedding.**

**Happy reading xox J**

Chapter Twenty-Five: Let's Go To Vegas

**Viva Las Vegas, sparklin' lights  
Dangerous livin', tumblin' dice  
You're my ace in the hole now honey  
And I'm your lady luck  
Pack a few things and a little money  
And put 'em in the truck**

xxxxx

The ride to the airport was short thank god. Now that I know we aren't heading home, I am too antsy and want to just be married already. 'You know babe, we could always just go to City Hall or something. Fast and easy, and I would be your wife a hell of alot sooner than the weekend.' I say to Christian, I see him turn and glare at me so I can't help but laugh. 'Anastasia, we are not going to City Hall. Yes, Vegas is over done and flashy and...whatever else you want to call it, but it is also classy and romantic. I have everything already booked, so all you have to do is find a dress for you and Madeline, and than we have to find our rings. Than, you just have to show up to the spot I have picked, say your vows and 'I Do' and we are done.' I can't believe this man is taking care of everything, don't guys usually avoid wedding stuff? I guess I should know better with my controlling fiancé but I wouldn't change anything about him.

We make our way out of the car and onto the jet where we are greeted by Maddy and Elliott. 'Hey guys, how was your visit?'

'Really good,' Mads says. 'It was nice to see dad, even though him and Stacie broke up, he seems happy. He said congratulations and if he can find someone to watch the bar than he will join us this weekend but if not, he wishes you the best Fannie.' She bursts out laughing at my nickname. 'Madeline I have told you to never call me that! Ugh, I'm not six anymore so I don't know why your dad doesn't just let it go.' I say after I smack her arm. 'Anyways! Different topic please, anything but horrible childhood nicknames that apparently never seem to go away.'

'There is one thing I would like to talk about before this week and weekend happens. I just want you to know, Ana, that I didn't keep this from you to hurt you. I did it to protect you and after this, no more secrets.' Christian says beside me, I can't help but be a little worried. He lets out a sigh. 'Last night at the club, I ran into Laurel and she was trying to convince me that I was making a mistake, how it was all about my money, so on and so forth. I know your probably really confused right now so I'm going to go with the short edited version for now, okay?' I nod my head still not able to say anything. 'After Laurel and I broke up, she started to get more weird than normal and as Elliott knows, she was pretty fucking weird. Than after you and I started dating, she would send text messages, follow you, basically anything to get my attention and that one time, it worked. So anyways, I ended up getting a full background check on her but when it came up empty up until her and I met, I started to get suspicious and we dug deeper. This is the hard part, and I'm sorry. You also know Laurel as Stephanie Wilson. Turns out after that whole scene in the locker room, she was kicked out of school and had to see a councillor for her anger issues. During that time, they found that she had stopped taking her medication, for what I'm not exactly sure, but she was admitted to a mental hospital.

'She was let out six years ago, had cosmetic surgery, changed her name and moved to Seattle in hopes to get away from you. But, once she saw you again, she tried to do everything she possibly could to ruin you and she still is. Last night when she came up to me, I told her to leave us alone and I think she finally got the message when I told her I knew who she really was. I know this is pretty fucked up, and I am really truly sorry, Ana. I just wanted you to know because I didn't want to keep this from you.'

After he finally finishes, I soak in all the information he just told me. Us. 'This whole time she knew what she was doing and she is still trying to ruin my life. I fucking hate that bitch and if she ever comes within an inch of me again I swear to god, I will do more than break her precious nose. I'm so unbelievably mad right now but I want to forget about her for the next week and just enjoy myself. I have everything I could ever want and nothing or nobody, especially that waste of skin, will ruin it for me.'

'I love you, Ana. Please don't ever forget that. She's not worth it and I promise that she will never be able to hurt you again.' Christian says as he pulls me into his side with his arm around me. I look over at Mads and she gives me a soft but worried smile. I mouth to her that I will be okay and we spend the rest of the flight talking wedding stuff.

xxxxx

As the jet descends and we are finally able to get off, we make our way to the limo that Taylor had ordered for us. Mads is going off about how excited she is to be staying at the Bellagio and how it's the most amazing hotel she has ever heard of. I can't help but laugh and shake my head at her as I continue to stare out the window at all the passing lights. Since I've never been here before, I probably look like such a loser as I take everything in. The whole gambling this doesn't appeal to me but I bet I would have a blast with the shopping, I know that would make Christian happy. When the car finally pulls up the hotel and we make our way out of it, I can hear Elvis Presley singing Viva Las Vegas coming from behind us. As I look over, I see one of the most amazing water shows imaginable. I feel Christian come up behind me and wrap his arms around my waist, 'I know that you are probably in awe right now baby, but there will be more shows. I just want to get up into our room and relax for tonight. Come.' He leads us inside so we can check in and the inside is just as lovely as the out. I notice that we don't have to wait long so I wonder what kind of strings had to be pulled to impress the Christian Grey, I can't help but laugh to myself. 'Whats so funny over there Steele?' Elliott says. 'Nothing,' I reply. 'I just find it funny how people fall over themselves to please the Master.' Everyone bursts out laughing because they know its the truth.

The elevator ride seems like torture, they always seem so damn slow when your waiting for something. It finally reaches our floor and me and Mads practically trip over each other trying to get to our room. I look back at the boys and they are shaking their heads at us so I just shrug my shoulders and wait for them to catch up. After Christian opens the door and we step inside, I can't believe how beautiful and relaxing it is. The walls, furniture, bedding, everything, is covered in dark browns and white. It definitely gives it a homie feel to it, and when I spot the fireplace infront of the couches, I give my man a look that's both a warning and plea. All I get in response is a smirk. That bastard knows exactly what I'm thinking yet doesn't make a move. Hmm, two can play that game, I think to myself. I slowly make my rounds from room to room, enjoying the view from outside when Maddy comes up to me with a drink. 'Thank you. I can't believe how beautiful this place is, this is really happening.' I look over and she has tears in her eyes. 'Ana, you deserve it. You are not only my best friend but you are my sister and I am so honored that you asked me to stand beside you. Before we get all sentimental and shit, I got some books for us to look at. Lets go find your dream dress, princess.'

**For Ana's ring that I will be using, google 14k black gold three stone pink sapphire, and it is with the dark pink/black not the light pink. It is my dream ring and someone has to have it, it's beautiful!**

**For the fountain show at the Bellagio, look on YouTube. I was trying to find a good one and that was the one that stuck out the most. If I do ever make it there, I hope I get to see it!**


	27. Chapter 27

**I'm so sorry for taking as long as I have. I know I promised I would try to have a couple chapters written over the weekend, but unfortunately I had a rough go of it. I am trying to get these next two written because after that, it's a breeze :)**

**For anyone who wants to see pictures, my Pinterest isn't working, but feel free to add me on Facebook; Anonjj Fanfiction**

.

Chapter Twenty-Six: Here's To Never Growing Up

**We'll be running down the street, yelling "Kiss my ass!"  
I'm like yeah whatever, we're still living like that  
When the sun's going down, we'll be raising our cups  
Singing, here's to never growing up**

xxxxx

The next couple days, Maddy and I spent most of our time shopping and walking the strip. I think we went to almost every single dress store we could find before I found my dress. The second I saw it, I fell in love and the lady was more than happy when she saw us come in. Ever since news came out of the engagement, I've been the one person that apparently everyone wants to sell to and see in their store. I'm glad my best friend made me change this morning. BC (before Christian), I could walk down the street without people taking a second look, I never graced the cover of a magazine and I could walk out of my house wearing flip flops, a sundress, my hair a mess and no makeup without having to worry about being put on the worst-dressed list. This mornings conversation with Madeline flashes through my mind.

_After Christian and I make love for the third time, I figure its about time I finally started to get ready for shopping so I got up and headed into the shower. Since he didn't join me this morning, my routine was alot quicker than normal and that's when I decided to go for comfort, but when I walked out into the living room Maddy started in. 'Ana, there is no way we are leaving this hotel room with you dressed like that.' I look down at my sandals, jean shorts and lime green shirt. 'Whats wrong with the way I look? We aren't here to impress anyone, we are only going shopping.'_

_She stares at me wide eyed with her mouth hanging open. 'Did you forget about the news that broke the other day? You are engaged to one of the most watched men in the world. They don't care if you want to be comfortable, if you walk out like that they will eat you alive. Here, I picked something out for you.' As I look at what she chose, I instantly fall in love with the color; a pair of light cuffed skinny jeans, white tank and a coral blazer. She also picked out a pair of heels and a purse to match. I know the shirt and pants are mine, but I don't know where she found the rest. I just shrug my shoulders and start to change so we can get the show on the road_.

I'm glad she did that, because as soon as we stepped out of the hotel, all I could see was flashes and they followed us all day long until we hit up the store with my dress. The security that Christian had hired kept them out of the way so no one would get a shot of my dress. 'Hey Mads, what do you wanna do this afternoon? I feel like going back to the room, ordering room service and just hang out like we used to.' She smiles and nods her head in agreement, 'I would like that.'

'Oh, I have one more stop to make. I have to pick out Christians ring.' Thank god the bridal shop we entered had a back exit which was right beside the jewelers, made it easy for us to slip in and out without being noticed. As I was faced with rows and rows of rings, I decided I would go for something that looked simple even though it wasn't, and I would have them engrave it for me. When I finally found the one, they told me I could pick it up the day before the wedding, which just so happened to be in two days.

Two days. I was going to be married in two days. I was going to be Mrs Christian Grey. A year ago, I never pictured myself being in this place in my life, but here I am and I couldn't be happier. I can't wait to walk down the aisle to marry the love of my life. We have both worked so hard to get to where we are. I have all kinds of thoughts pass through as we make our way back to the hotel, but as we round the corner, I suddenly feel sick and rush inside to the bathroom. 'Hey An, you okay sweetie?' I hear Maddy say. 'I think so, that was really weird.' As I lean against the wall, I think about what could've caused that. Nerves, has to be nerves. After a little while, the feeling goes away and I pull myself up off the floor so we can head upstairs. 'Its just stress Mads. I was thinking about how Saturday is the day and I must've gotten myself too worked up.' She looks at me and nods, but I don't think she believes me. What else could it be? I didn't eat anything different for lunch, and I definitely couldn't be pregnant. I shrug it off as we get off onto our floor and head to our room for some girl time.

xxxxx

A couple hours later, we find ourselves on the floor laughing so hard I think I might pee myself. 'Remember that time we put makeup on Sean and you shaved one of his eyebrows, Maddy? I thought you had the biggest crush on him until that moment.'

'Hey, I had a crush on Danny until he broke my little six year old heart by bringing that skank Allyson over. Than I liked Sean until that night. He was so drunk, I was embarrassed just to know him. He deserved everything he got and to this day, I still think he believes it was Nixon.' The laughter is really uncontrollable now, the things that we used to get away with would spin some people's heads. 'Ana, should I warn Christian and Elliott to never get drunk and pass out with you in the room? You are pretty deadly.'

'No fair Madeline! As I recall, it was your idea to do the shaving, don't blame all this on me or else!'

'Or else what? I'm not scared of you Miss Steele, you should be afraid of me though.' I look at her to try and make out if she's bluffing, but I have a feeling she's not. 'Well, if that's the game you want to play, than bring it on, Miss Goforth.' It all started with a pillow, than she just had to grab water to throw on me, it all escalated from there until I had her underneath me, tickling and making her beg for mercy. She only lasted a couple minutes before I rolled off and laid beside her, grabbing her hand. 'I love you Maddy. I hope you know that, no matter what happens in our lives, you are my best friend.'

'I love you too, Ans. I couldn't imagine myself being anywhere else but beside you. We've been through alot over the years, but you've always been there, just like I'm always there for you. That's what best friends are for. Now. Even though I am with Elliott, I don't want you thinking he's turned me into a softy. Just because his balls decide to tuck in every once in a while, doesn't mean mine do. And Christian? Don't even get me started on him. God girl, if I knew your heart wasn't involved, I would slap you silly for that. But hey, I guess I can forgive you this time.' She shoots me a wink.

'Hey, that wasn't very nice.' We hear a booming voice say as we both laugh on the floor.

xxxxx

CPOV

Even though I don't get to see Ana during the day, we definitely make up for it when we go to bed. The last couple days, Elliott and I have been trying to get all the last minute details figured out, especially times that everyone is flying in. Ana thinks they won't be here until the day of the wedding, but I have actually arranged for them to all be flown in tonight and than to meet us downstairs for dinner. I can't wait to see the look on her face, I would do anything to make her happy and I know having her mom here to help her get ready to marry me would do just that.

I'm glad we are just going the simple route because if I have to look at any more flowers, color splotches, tuxes, or decorations, I think my head may explode. I should have just let Madeline do all this, but I needed her to keep Anastasia occupied so everything would be a surprise. The other night while we were laying in bed, we decided that we would look for rings separately. She said she wanted to pick something special for me, so I will do the same. Elliott had gotten a text from Maddy saying that they were heading back to hotel so we knew that we could head to the jewelers without being seen. I had an idea of what I wanted to get her but when I saw the black gold and pink ring, I knew she had to have it. It was one of a kind and beautiful just like her, it was perfect.

Since it didn't take us long to pick it out, we decided we would go for a bite to eat before heading back to see the girls. 'Chris, are you nervous about any if this? This seems to be happening so fast, I just want to make sure you know what you are doing.'

I sigh, 'Ell, I really appreciate you looking out for me, but this is it. She's it for me and I don't want to let her slip through my fingers again. I know that the last time it was all my fault, but I have been trying to make up for it and I want nothing more than to have her by my side for the rest of our lives. I settled for Lauren being the one, and when she proved me wrong I thought I was going to be alone forever. And than I saw Ana and I knew. At first, yeah, it was only supposed to be a one night thing but talking to her, I knew it would turn into more, and it scared the fucking shit out of me.

'She completes me, bro. The things I feel with her I've never felt before. You might think I'm crazy, but I'm looking forward to everything. The wedding, having kids, houses, all of it.' I look up at my brother to see him just staring at me. 'You really are serious about Ana aren't you? I knew you had it bad, but I didn't know you wanted all that stuff. I just assumed you didn't. Does she know how you feel?' A smile starts to spread across my face, 'yes actually, her and I have both talked about it all. We have agreed that we are going to start looking for houses once we get home. She already has something in mind that she wants. As for children, when it happens, it happens. We won't be trying-trying and we won't exactly be preventing it, we just know that if it happens, it's not the end of the world.'

'Well, I'm happy for you, Christian. I just had to do the whole big brother thing and make sure you weren't making a mistake. I know you love her and she definitely loves you, and as long as you make each other happy, I won't have to interfere and kick some ass.' I just shake my head at him as we pay for our lunch and make our way to the hotel. I can't remember the last time my brother and I had a discussion like that. Men aren't supposed to show their soft sides right? It does feel good to know he cares about me, I just hope he knows I care just as much and we will probably have the same talk when it comes time for him and Madeline to get married. On the way up to the room, we crack jokes and make fun of each other until we open the door and see what's happening infront of us. Maddy is an attractive girl, not as attractive as my Ana mind you - yes, I am biased, but when you see two girls rolling around on the floor, it just does something to you. 'Bro, pinch me.' I look at Elliott. 'I just want to make sure I'm not dreaming. This is hot.' He whispers. All of a sudden the laughing stops and they start getting emotional, at least that's what I thought until I got on to something Maddy said. That's when I knew that they knew we were standing there, so I just started laughing and shaking my head.

'Hey, that wasn't very nice' my brother says beside me and the girls start laughing. When they finally calmed down, I hear Ana's sexy voice, 'did you honestly think we wouldn't know when you guys were in a room? Besides being able to sense it, your anything but quiet, Ell.' All of us burst out laughing than decide to start getting ready for dinner, I really hope my lady loves her surprise. Seeing her smile makes me smile and images of children run through my head for the second time in an hour.


	28. Chapter 28

**Two chapters today :) Im skipping the dinner scene from last chapter because I cant seem to get this out of my head so this is going to probably be my longest chapter yet. Its going to be lovey dovey (until the end...just a heads up!) and I apologize in advance :-|**

**xox Jac**

Chapter Twenty-Seven: The Way You Look Tonight

xxxxx

I feel the bed move underneath me and as I remember that Christian didn't sleep in our bed, I realize it could only be one other person. 'Ana! Ana! Ana! Wake up sleepy head, today is the day!' I open my eyes and see my annoying best friend jumping on the bed, I let out a groan and cover my face with a pillow. 'Madeline, we aren't five anymore. This doesn't make me want to get up and join you.' I say to her. That's when I hear everyone else in my room. Standing at the end of my bed with Maddy is every other female in the family. Mom, Grammy, Grace, Lucy, Mia, Sara and Miranda are all staring at me with huge smiles. 'Alright ladies, what gives? It's too early for this shit.'

'Anastasia Rose...' I cringe, 'sorry Grammy, it just slipped.'

'We have let you sleep long enough, dear,' I hear Grace say. 'Its 11 o'clock so you need to get up and start getting ready, you only have four hours.' I bolt up in bed surprised at how long they left me alone. 'I can't do it. I'm going to look horrible and he's not going to want to marry me and he's going to leave me up there all by myself and...'

'Ana, if it was any other day than your wedding, I would slap you across the face for thinking such stupid thoughts. Christian is not going to leave you, even if you were wearing a paper bag and your hair was a mess. But! This is why you have a whole team waiting out there for you so please get up and into the shower so we can start getting you ready for the love of your life.' I don't even think Lucy took a breathe through her whole speech, she shocks me. With that, they push me into the bathroom and remind me pay attention to all the little details. This is why I'm glad they made me wax...everything...yesterday.

After what is probably the quickest shower I have ever had, I put on the robe that was left out for me and make my way into the living room. 'Why aren't we doing this in the bathroom?' The lady who is doing my hair, I'm assuming, pipes up, 'we have strict orders that you are not allowed to see anything until after you have your dress on. Now, it's also my understanding that you picked out the dress but nothing else?' I nod my head as my family enters the room with boxes. I see my mom has tears in her eyes, 'Ana, my little baby. I'm sure your aware of the traditions - something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue - and what I hold in my hands takes care of two of those. This has been handed down in the family since your great-great grandmother. Of course, we've had it upgraded a little bit for you, but it is also blue.' As she opens the box she's holding, I see a beautiful silk garter laying on a little pillow. It's a soft blue with a diamond positioned in the middle and pearls surrounding it. 'Oh mom, it's absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much.' I feel the tears falling as she pulls me into a hug. I can't help but laugh as we pull away and she wipes my face, 'is this why you guys wanted to do this now so I wouldn't ruin my makeup later?' Everyone in the room nods. Next up is Mia and Maddy. 'Now, this is something new. We went together on this because its something we both agreed on.' Upon opening the box, I'm almost blinded by the diamond covered heels that are inside. 'Oh my...girls! You didn't have to get me these, I could've done that myself!' I see Maddy shaking her head, 'Hun, if you really did, you could've done that the other day. I saw the look in your eyes when we passed by and I had the guys pick them up for us last night after we came up here. They are a gift, wear them!' I'm speechless as I take them out and slip them onto my feet. Perfect fit. Next in line is Grace, only I don't see anything in her hands. 'Anastasia, I am so thankful that you have come into our lives and saved Christian. I am so proud to call you family, you have been a part of it since day one, I hope that never changes. Now, my gift is just as special as everyone else's, but I do need it back because Mia will be wearing it on her wedding day, as will Madeline. I will give it to you after you have put your dress on but you have to promise not to tell the girls what it is. I love you, Ana. Thank you. Now, lets get this show on the road!'

Three hours later, I have my hair and makeup done, and it's finally time to put my dress on before we have to head downstairs. Since the only person who's see it is Maddy, I have her help me get into it. The beautiful floor length gown that flares out at mid-thigh fits me perfectly. It only has one strap, but it is ruffled with flowers and adds an accent. The top shows just enough cleavage to be classy and sexy but not too much that its slutty, and in the back, it laces to tie up. The second I saw it, I knew I had to have it, it was my dress. I just hope that Christian loves it as much as I do. As soon as I'm all laced up and ready, Maddy leaves and Grace enters.

'Oh darling, you look so stunning!' I see her start to cry, 'I'm sorry, I promised myself I wouldn't do this. Okay, your something borrowed has been in my family for generations, just like the gift from your mother. Every woman that has worn it has had a very happy and long marriage, so I want you to close your eyes and don't open them until I tell you.' I do as I'm told and that's when I feel the coolness on my neck. 'Okay, you can open them now.' Looking back at me is someone I don't even recognize, and resting around my neck is the most beautiful pearl necklace I have ever seen. 'Grace..' I turn around and pull her into a hug. 'Don't cry, your makeup will run. And I've seen you give out enough hugs today to last a lifetime.' We both laugh. Just than, my brothers knock on the door to tell us it's time. No one says a word but as well as everyone else, their eyes begin to water when they look at me. 'Alright people, lets get me downstairs so I can get married!'

Christian, Elliott, Carrick and Taylor all made sure that we wouldn't be bothered on the way down to the terrace which was amazing on their part, but it makes me feel more nervous. We have to occupy two elevators for us all to get down to the floor, so that doesn't help but as it opens and I see my dad standing there waiting for me, I instantly feel calm and like I can do anything. 'Ready Ana Baby? This is your time to shine.' I let out a big breath and close my eyes. When I open them, I realize that it's just him and I. 'Lets do this daddy. I'm ready.'

xxxxx

The doors open to lead me down to Christian. I have tunnel vision and all I can see is him, standing up by his brother waiting for me. I dont see any of the decorations, and as we pass by everyone, I can kind of make out the sounds of crying but I just can't bring myself to look in the direction it's coming from. I feel a tear slide down my cheek but I know they are tears of happiness because for once, I'm finally getting everything I had ever wanted, and than some. My family has always played a big part in my life and now that I'm adding Christian and his to it, I finally feel complete. Almost. I know our family is only going to get bigger, and knowing I can share it with the beautiful man infront of me makes the wait worth while.

This stupid aisle feels like it goes on forever and all I want to do is run down it, but I am thankful that I have my dad holding me back. I risk a glance beside me and I begin to wish I hadn't. My father, the one who has been the rock of our family grounding us. The glue that kept us all together, through the good and the bad times, is now trying to hold his emotions in. I have never seen a grown man cry, daddy always told me that men 'dont do that sort of thing', but seeing him with tears in his eyes breaks my heart. I know he is happy for me, but I'm his little girl and he has to give me away. When we make it up to the front, he turns to me and whispers before he kisses me cheek, 'you will always be my baby, Anastasia, no matter who else is in your life. I love you baby girl.' I choke back a sob, 'I love you too daddy.' With that, he gives my hand to my future husband and we turn towards the minister. I don't hear much of what he says, just like when I was walking down so I could stand in this spot, but when he reads the passage that Christian and I picked, it has too much meaning to not pay attention.

'You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, "When we're married", and continued with "I will" and "you will" and "we will" – all those late night talks that included "someday" and "somehow" and "maybe" – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, "You know all those things that we've promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word." Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few months. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same. After today you shall say to the world; This is my husband. This is my wife. It is my understanding that you have written your own vows. Christian,'

'My beautiful bride. Without you, my heart would have turned to stone but thankfully you brought light into my life. I promise to always hold your hand, be by your side and support you in whatever path you choose. I hope the only tears you cry are from happiness, I hope you never have to feel pain and as long as you are mine, I will do everything I can to protect you. You are my heart, my life, my love. I love you always and forever Anastasia.'

The tears start to sting my eyes threatening to fall, but no matter how hard I try, a couple escape. I feel Christian wipe them away for me and he gives me a soft smile as I look up at him, mouthing the words 'I love you'. I glance at the minister and he nods that its my turn. I take a big breath before I begin.

'Christian, I never knew love until I met you. You have opened up so much more of me than I thought I had, you have made me a better person. As I stand here waiting to be your wife, I want you to know that I will always love and cherish you with all my heart. I will be here whenever you need me, I will stand by your side supporting any decision and when your down, I will be the person to pick you back up. I love you Christian Grey and no matter what, your stuck with me for life.' I hear a couple chuckles and see a shy smile on Christians face.

'Anastasia, in placing this ring on Christians finger, repeat after me: Christian, this ring I give you, my personal gift and my personal promise, of love and trust, and pride that you are my husband. We will wear these rings, and the world will know that I am yours and you are mine.'

'Now Christian, repeat after me: Anastasia, this ring I give you, my personal gift and my personal promise, of love and trust, and pride that you are my wife. We will wear these rings, and the world will know that I am yours and you are mine.'

'Anastasia and Christian, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.' I don't think the poor man had finished getting all the words out before my husband attacked me. It's hard to place if he's ever kissed me like this before. Passion, love, life, happiness, and many more emotions are all put into it making it probably the most amazing kiss I've ever received. I'm so wrapped up in it that I forget we are standing infront of our families until Elliott yells at us to get a room. 'I have one big brother,' Christian says as he breaks away but still looking in my eyes. 'Unfortunately, we can enjoy it yet because we have a party to attend. Come, my beautiful wife, lets get this over with so we can start our honeymoon.

xxxxx

CPOV

It's almost over, I keep telling myself. Pretty soon it will just be Ana and I. No family trying to ruin a special moment, no nosy paparazzi trying to snap pictures. Just me and her enjoying our private beach for a week before we come home to reality. God, it feels like I haven't been to work in forever. Maybe it's because I haven't stayed in the office for long, it's usually been emails, phone calls and phone conferences. Not that Im worried about it, it gives me more time with my Ana. Now that the ceremony is over, it's all just flying by. It's like we just sat down to eat when they were calling us up to dance, so I grabbed my wife's hand and led her to the middle of the floor as the music started to play as Frank Sinatra's voice comes over the speakers.

_Some day, when I'm awfully low  
When the world is cold  
I will feel a glow just thinking of you  
And the way you look tonight_

_Yes, you're lovely, with your smile so warm  
And your cheeks so soft  
There is nothing for me but to love you  
And the way you look tonight_

_With each word your tenderness grows  
Tearin' my fear apart  
And that laugh..wrinkles your nose  
Touches my foolish heart_

_Lovely ... Never, never change  
Keep that breathless charm  
Won't you please arrange it? 'Cause I love you  
Just the way you look tonight_

_And that laugh that wrinkles your nose  
It touches my foolish heart_

_Lovely ... Don't you ever change  
Keep that breathless charm  
Won't you please arrange it? 'Cause I love you  
a-just the way you look tonight_

Tonight has been perfect, it couldn't have gone any better. As we are finishing up our first dance as husband and wife, I look at Ana and notice she is looking a little pale so I lead her back to our table so she can sit. 'Baby, you okay? You don't look so good.' She gives me a small smile, 'yes, I'm okay. I just think everything is starting to get to me, feeling a little tired.' I try to show that I believe her, but as she sits I see her wince in pain, and that's when I notice the blood. 'Ana, your bleeding! MOM!' She comes running over, 'something's wrong, something isn't right. What's wrong with her?' Just as I look back to my beautiful bride, I see her eyes roll in the back of her head right before she passes out. I instantly start to panic, and not knowing what else to do, I pick her up and get Taylor to bring a car around for me so I can take her to the hospital. 'Its going to be okay baby, I promise. Stay with me Ana, please.'

xxxxx

**Please don't hate me!**

**The passage the 'minister' reads is Union by Robert Fulghum. It seemed the most fitting for this chapter!**


	29. Chapter 29

**It's a small one, I know, but I couldn't leave you guys hanging like that. I know you probably do 'hate' me so I'm sorry ;) I hope this makes up for it, and it is sad, and if it hits a little close to home for someone I SINCERELY apologize! I just want to have them face real life issues, and what your about to read can either break or make a relationship.**

**xoxo Jac**

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Angel

**I need some distraction  
oh beautiful release  
memories seep from my veins  
let me be empty  
and weightless and maybe  
I'll find some peace tonight**

xxxxx

CPOV

Time. Everything runs on time. It doesn't matter what you do in your day, whether it be a shower, eating, walking, driving. Time runs your life and right now, I abso-fucking-lutely HATE it. I have been sitting in the waiting room of the hospital for what feels like forever and all I can hear is people's heels clicking on the floor and the clock hands ticking with each passing second. The memory of Ana sitting in a blood soaked wedding dress will forever be burned into my mind. I just don't understand, we were supposed to spend forever together, and we are only given a couple hours? I don't believe in God but right now I would probably get down on my knees and sell my soul to the devil if the big man upstairs would let her be okay. I'm not a cryer either but I can feel the tears falling down my cheeks while my mother sits beside me holding on. I glance up and see the whole family in the waiting room with me, all with the same expressions on their faces. No one knowing what is going on because not one doctor has come out to see us. I can't find the words to ask someone to go see, I just want to know if my wife is alive. Once we establish that, than I want answers and someone better fucking give me that. They owe me that much.

Again, brings me back to fucking time. When your waiting for something, it always go slower. Take the man walking down the hallway for example. To me, he's walking in slow motion. Now, is it because he's a doctor and I'm hoping he's coming to see me? It is it because he might just be another doctor that passes us by without a second glance?

'Mr Grey?' Or maybe not. I clear my throat, 'yes, thats me. How's my wife? Is she okay?'

The look on his face betrays the words that I know are about to come out of his mouth. 'Your wife has lost alot of blood, but we do know what has caused it. If you could please come with me so we can talk. After that, I will take you to see her. We had to sedate her so she is sleeping, you don't need to worry, sir.' I look at everyone else to make sure it's okay and I are them all nod. Everyone that matters is sitting right infront of me, and I thank Ana every day for giving me such a big family. The walk down the corridor to what I'm assuming is the doctors office, again, seems to take forever. Ugh, I'm seriously sick of all this time shit, but yet here I am stressing about it. As the he opens the door and ushers me in, he points to a chair for me to sit.

'Mr Grey, I know you are extremely worried about your wife and that is understandable but right now I need you to have a clear head, especially after what I'm about to tell you.' I see him take a deep breath before he continues. 'Christian, I have known you since we were kids so right now this is really hard for me to pass on. It's hard for me to be her doctor when all I want to be is your friend.'

'Luke, please. I have been sitting here going out of my fucking mind worrying about her..'

He sighs, 'Ana had a miscarriage. We don't know the exact cause of it yet but the fact that there was so much blood is a really big concern. We are doing everything we possibly can to figure this out, and we will, that's my promise to you.'

Miscarriage? Ana was pregnant? Did she know? So many questions are running through my head now that I can't even think straight. 'Luke, I want to see her. Take me to my wife please.' I see him give me a sad smile as he gets up and leads me down the hall. When we make it to her room, I look in and see her curled up in a ball on the bed and it breaks my heart. I pull up the chair beside her bed and grab her hand, 'I am so sorry baby. I'm so, so sorry.' I don't even try to control myself as I break down and sob. If I'm feeling like this, I can't even begin to imagine how she is feeling or going to feel. I turn and look at Luke. He's not just the doctor right now, like he said, he's my friend. 'How far along was she?' I see him look at her chart, 'About 6 weeks or so, we can't really be accurate because she never had an ultrasound.' I just nod my head at him and turn back to my beautiful wife. 'Its going to be okay baby, I promise. We will get through this together. It's you and me, we can face anything life throws at us. This will hurt, for how long I'm not sure, but we will try again. Even though your asleep right now, I know you can hear me and don't for one second think that your alone. I am going to be by your side for the rest of our lives, and our little baby is now an angel up in heaven watching over us. I love you Anastasia, always and forever.' I eventually cry myself to sleep with my head on the bed facing her, when she wakes up I want to be the first thing she sees so she will believe what I told her. I just hope she doesn't push me away.


	30. Chapter 30

**In regards to the last chapter, I myself have never gone through it but my sister in-law has as well as one of my friends. If I get anything wrong (ex. feelings, etc), just let me know and I will change it or file it away for future reference. I know this is never an easy road to go down but I want to get most of the focus on it out this chapter so we can start to move forward (sort-of, kinda-in a way)**

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Everybody Hurts

**When your day is long  
And the night, the night is yours alone  
When you're sure you've had enough  
Of this life, well hang on  
Don't let yourself go  
'Cause everybody cries  
And everybody hurts sometimes**

xxxxx

APOV

As I begin to wake, I hear the beeping of the heart monitor and it reminds me of exactly where I am. Before I can open my eyes, I start to cry. My baby. I had a little human growing inside of me and its just...gone. What did I do to deserve this? Oh god, Christian! I can feel myself starting to panic until I feel his arms around me and the whispers in my ear, 'it's ok, Ana, I'm right here. I'm not leaving you sweetie, I promise. Just let it out, let it all out.'

After about an hour or so of just crying, I find myself cuddled into Christians side on the bed. 'Im so sorry Christian. I didn't know, I...'

'Anastasia, don't you dare apologize to me.' He interrupts, 'we both didn't know and we both lost something special, but I just want you to know that we are going to get through this together, no matter how long it takes. Now, are you going to be okay for a couple minutes? I just want to go get the doctor.' I nod my head as he exits the room. How did I get so lucky? Usually women have to go through this sort of this alone right? What if I can't give my husband the babies he wants? What if my body is broken? I don't know if I would be able to handle hurting him like that because no matter who you are, you should always be given a chance at being a parent. And I killed his baby. How will he ever be able to forgive me for this? I don't even know if I can forgive myself.

I try to shake my head of these thoughts when I see Christian walking back into the room with the doctor. 'Ana, this is Dr Luke Trottier. He is an old friend of mine, but he also treated you when we brought you in last night. He's got some news.' I do my best to give him a smile, but I can tell its not much, so I put my head down and focus on my hands that are resting in my lap.

'Ana, I'm extremely sorry for what you may be experiencing right now, but through all this bad, I do have what I think is good news for you. Last night after we sedated you, we took you in for X-rays and because of the miscarriage, Dr Greene had to do an ultrasound to make sure everything passed okay. What she found there is what caused it to happen, you have what is called an arcuate uterus. The arcuate uterus has a depression at the fundus. A woman can carry a baby to full term pregnancy. However, this condition is associated with a higher risk for miscarriage and premature births. This doesn't mean that you are never able to have children, it is actually quite the opposite. You can have as many children as you like, we just have to keep an eye on everything as the pregnancy progresses. I would like you guys to wait at least 3 months though before you officially start trying again, just so your body can get back to normal.

'Other than that, Mr and Mrs Grey, we do want to keep an eye on the emotional states you may be in or may face down the road. It might be slightly different for you guys since you did not know you were with child, which means that you never had an emotional connection to it, but it will still hurt just the same. Everyone is different, some it never affects at all or else they were just good at hiding it, but you both need to understand that you are not alone. Christian, I know you want to be there for Ana, protect her, so on and so forth, but don't forget about yourself. Let your wife help you, your family, anyone. I promise it will get easier, you may never forget, but you are able to move past this in time. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to call me, and even though its user these circumstances, it was nice to see you again, Chris. It's been too long. And congratulations on getting married, you deserve it.' And with a smile, dr Trottier is gone.

'Christian, what's going through your head right now?' He looks at me with a both sadness and hope in his eyes. 'Im thinking about how much I love you, and now that we know what is going on, we can be better prepared. This doesn't change anything, even if they told us that we couldn't have children, I would do everything I possibly could to prove them wrong.'

'I know he said it might be different because we never knew before we lost it, but I feel like this is all my fault somehow. I don't want something like this to tear us apart, Christian. We've been through too much to lose the chance of sharing our love with anyone else. I know that everything happens for a reason, and yes maybe this wasn't meant to be, but what bothers me the most is that I took a child away from you. My head is all over the place right now. One minute I want to cry and mourn the loss, but at the same time I just want to move past all of it and start our lives as husband and wife. Is that normal? Am I a horrible person for not wanting to be reminded of the baby? Oh my god, I am a horrible person. I am so sorry!' I think this is what the doctor was trying to say about emotions, I just can't seem to get a handle on them and that bothers me. I owe it to my husband to be strong, to be the person he knows and loves. 'I just want to go home, please take me home.'

'Okay baby, I will go see if I can find Luke. Oh, everyone is here, what do you want me to tell them?' he says.

Oh crap...'well, I guess we tell them the truth. They are going to find out eventually anyways, I would rather have them hear it from us and not the stupid paparazzi.' He gives a slight nod, 'I will be back babe, I promise.'

xxxxx

An hour later, we are getting ready to leave the hospital. Maddy ended up bringing me some clothes to wear, so I took a shower and put on the blue flower print strapless maxi dress, paired with a jean jacket, turquoise wedges and some sunglasses. The last thing I need is to have my face plastered all over the magazines looking like this.

Seems that I'm not going to get my way though as we head out the front doors. All around me are flashes and people asking me questions: 'Mrs Grey, is it true that a drug overdose caused the visit to the hospital?' 'Mrs Grey, are you going to rehab?' Mrs Grey, Mrs Grey, Mrs Grey. I feel the tears prick my eyes as I make my way to the waiting vehicle, Christian climbing in behind me. 'Baby, what was all that about? Why were they talking about a drug overdose?' He looks at me and than hands me his phone.

_It was reported last night that during their wedding reception, which was accompanied by just family at the Bellagio, Mr Grey was seen taking a passed out Mrs Grey to the hospital. When asked, a source close to the couple explained that it appears that Greys wife is not as she seems. Apparently she has had a drug issue for a number of years and it has finally caught up to her. The source also said, 'it's time that she faced her issues head on instead of hiding behind a mask. She's not who she appears to be, I just hope she gets herself the help she needs before its too late.' What has Mr Grey gotten himself into? Lets hope this is just a rumor and not the ugly truth_.

'I...uh...I don't even know what to say. Who would do this? It can't be anyone in the family, Christian, I really don't think they would be so hurtful.' Again, I can't seem to stop the tears.

Christian pulls me into him, 'it wasn't the family baby, I have my men on it trying to figure it out and as soon as we do, I will let you know and we will deal with this. The fact that someone could say something so far from the truth is disgusting. I'm so sorry.' I hope that whoever it was felt satisfaction for a fraction of a second because as soon as I find out who said all that shit, they are going to wish they never met me. I will officially be their worst nightmare. Actually, nightmares might be a more welcome thought than me when I'm angry. And I have alot of pent up anger right now.


	31. Chapter 31

**Not only does an idea pop in my head when I hear a song but it also occurs at the weirdest times, doing the strangest things...this one was while on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor...like I said, strange lol.**

**Thanks for all the love and to the new followers I've gotten. It means alot :)**

**xoxo Jac**

Chapter Thirty: If I Lose Myself

**I stared up at the sun,  
Thought of all of the people, places and things I've loved.  
I stared up just to see  
With all of the faces, you were the one next to me.**

xxxxx

APOV

Because of the state I was in, as soon as we were allowed to take off the seat belts on the plane, I headed back to the bedroom to be alone. I had to keep reminding Christian it wasn't anything he did and that I was going to have a nap. I could tell he was hurt but he nodded his head in agreement. Once laying down though, all I could do was toss and turn thinking about the last week. First, Christian told me that the two people I despised the most in this world, were one and the same. How could you hate someone so much that you would go to such lengths to ruin their life? Yes, I hate her, but I wouldn't try to take it all away. I've worked hard to be where I am right now and I think I deserve it all. I haven't told him yet, but I really believe it was Laurel...Stephanie...ugh, that talked to the paper. I mean, who else could it have been? I doubt it was Liam, I haven't talked to him since that night at the hospital and even after everything, I don't think he would stoop that low and risk being caught.

I will never understand what goes through people's heads. What did she think was going to happen? Christian would believe what he read and just dump me on the side of the road to find my own way home? Obviously she has underestimated our relationship and how much we do love each other. He has really amazed me since he showed up at my parents house, and I never imagined that I would be laying here as his wife. I was having such a wonderful evening too, celebrating our marriage. I find myself resting my hand on my flat belly missing what I never knew I had. I was told that I was about six weeks along, that would mean it was the first time we were together since Mexico, before we had ever discussed where we were in our relationship. Before the fight, the heartbreak, before Georgia.

The more I think about it, the more I hate myself. If only I could turn back the hands of time, find out sooner that I was carrying a child inside if me. Maybe than we could have done things to prevent it from happening. I can't remember where I heard it, but someone said that if you are really missing a person in your life, write them a letter expressing how you feel. You don't have to give it to them, but it lets you get out what's in your heart and mind. Deciding that's what I'm going to do, I find a piece of paper, a pen and start writing.

xxxx

CPOV

I hate that Ana wanted to be alone, she shouldn't feel like that. As soon as we got into the car at the hospital and she read the news, she started to withdraw and it scared me, that's the last thing we need right now. 'Hey bro, how's it goin?' my brother says as he sits in the seat beside me.

I sigh, 'I don't really know Elliott. I have honestly never cried so much in my life, and I know that it's a pussy thing to do but I can't help it. I married the love of my life only to think that I was losing her, than finding out that I didn't but we lost a baby instead. It's alot for a heart to hold, you know? I don't know where Ana's head is at, she went to lay down because she wanted to be alone but I should have followed her anyways. She should be able to talk to me, to let me hold her, she shouldn't feel like she has to deal with this by herself.' I can feel the tears in my eyes so I look down not able to look at my brother.

He puts his hand on my shoulder, 'Christian, no matter what happens, we are all here for you. You guys have had alot happen in the last 24 hours and no one can blame you for feeling the way you do. I know this is tearing you apart, but don't hold it in whatever you do. Go see your wife, she may have said she wanted to be alone but I know she will appreciate you not listening to her. You two are anything but alone, in case you forgot, this plane is full of family. The people who love you and will do anything for you, now is the time to abuse that whether its a shoulder to cry on or just for someone to talk to. I love you little brother, no go.'

I decide to listen to him as I get up and go to the bedroom. When I open the door, I find Ana sleeping with the most peaceful look on her face and I can't help but smile as I crawl in beside her. When I go to tuck the blankets around her, I see a piece of paper that she had written on and I am shocked. I know I shouldn't read it, but I just can't help myself, and so I grab it from under her hand. After realizing what it was, another smile appears on my face as I see the opening line,

_My Little Angel,_

_I don't even know where to begin. I may have never known you existed, but I love you just the same. Your daddy and I would have been so very happy to welcome you into our family, where we could all be together. Since the moment they told me I lost you, I've thought about what our lives would have been like. The places we could've gone, we could have showed you the world. I know things happen for a reason, little one, but I can't help but mourn the loss of something that was so special._

_I had a dream last night that I was holding the hand of a little boy, walking along the sky-blue beach. I named him Kayde, I believe it was you. I don't know why but I just have that feeling. I hated having to leave, but I knew I had to wake up because your dad needed me. I know you are up there watching over us right now, so please give me the strength to move on. I will never forget you, don't think that's what I mean when I say that, but I owe it to myself and everyone else to try and be strong. We will be together soon, that's my promise to you, my precious baby. A parent never leaves a child no matter what the circumstances. You have a place in my heart, forever and always._

_Love Always,_

_Your mommy_


	32. Chapter 32

**If anyone is interested in the pieces that I put before the actual chapter begins, let me know and I can send them to you. They are all song lyrics :)**

**xoxo Jac**

Chapter Thirty-One: Lego House

**I'm gonna pick up the pieces,  
And build a Lego house  
If things go wrong we can knock it down  
My three words have two meanings,  
There's one thing on my mind  
It's all for you**

xxxxx

CPOV

I look from the letter in my hands to my sleeping wife beside me. She's asking for strength but I know she already has alot of it. If she didn't than she wouldn't have written this letter and even though it only happened last night, I can tell she doesn't want to dwell on it. That scares me at the same time as making me happy though, because this is what Luke was worried about. I don't want her to think she has to put a brave face on for us, I would rather see her break down in tears every five seconds instead of feeling like she was faking it.

'Christian? What's wrong baby?' I hear Ana say quietly beside me. I didn't even hear her stir beside me so I give her a soft smile. 'Just thinking. I came in here earlier and when I went to tuck you in, I found this.' I hand her back the letter and I see her blush. 'I didn't think anyone would read it. I'm so embarrassed.'

I look at her shocked, 'why are you embarrassed Ana? You wrote down what you were feeling, no one expects you to just forget it. It literally just happened. I just want you to know that you can you talk to me about anything and whenever. I don't care if I am in a board meeting or going to the bathroom, if you want to talk than I am here.'

I hear the wheels turning in her head and from the look on her face, I can tell she's about to open up. 'Like you said, it only just happened, but have you thought about it at all? I mean, have you thought about what it would be like if things were different?'

'Of course I have. Like you wrote, we could have shown him the world. I would have taken you two from one end to the other, taking every single stop in between. I'm still going to do that, you know. Even if it is just you and me, it will happen.' I take a breath, 'I don't want to sound insensitive when I say this and I don't want you to think the worst, but we have all the time in the world for kids, baby. Yes, I would love to have children with you. Yes, I am sad and hurt that we didn't get to enjoy the one we lost but that doesn't mean we give up our dream. Remember the one you told me you had on the plane heading to your parents?' I feel her nod. 'Look forward to that. Take your own words and let this give you the strength you need to move ahead with me, don't look back. If you do, than you won't get to see what's right infront of you.

'Like Luke said, we now know what the cause was. And don't you dare blame yourself because you had and have no control over it, Anastasia. We will take these next couple months as a chance to grow together, to learn everything there is to know. We may have jumped the gun on a couple things the last few weeks but I don't regret a second of it. You are what makes me smile, you are the one that I love with all my heart and you are the one that's stuck with me forever, Mrs Grey. If you ever have a hard day, like I said, talk to me, and I will do the same. We can and we will do this, together.'

xxxxx

APOV

'You are so amazing, you know that?' I tell my husband as I have tears pouring down my face. I knew I could talk to him but I never expected him to find the letter and I was a tad embarrassed that he had. I felt silly for writing it, and yes it did make me feel better, but I wrote to nothing. Great, even though I'm thinking to myself, I sound like a heartless bitch. 'Christian, do you think it's horrible that I'm all over the place? I know what Trottier said and that it's normal but, I just...I don't know. I feel bad if I agree with you about moving forward but I also feel bad if all I do is sit around and cry about it. We lost a baby, that will stick with me for the rest of my life no matter where we are or how many other children we have. But, I don't know if I can do this, be like this. This is not me, Christian. This person your looking at right now doesn't feel like this, I'm not supposed to sulk and be depressed and depend on other people to hold me up. I am supposed to be the strong one, the one who people come to for help, the one that controls what happens in her life.' The tears are flowing more freely than before and when I stop to take a breathe, I realize I'm starting to yell.

'I hate myself so much right now, it's not even funny. If I had a normal body than we would be heading to god knows where for our honeymoon, finding out we are going to have a baby in a few months and planning to share our lives with him. But no, I had to go and fuck that up. It's just one thing on top of another, I keep wondering what the fuck else is going to happen to us. What if I end up not being enough for you? What if I can't give you the family you want? There's all these what-ifs, Christian and I can't live my life like that. I can't live like this. I am slowly tearing myself apart because I feel like I disappointed you, I'm a failure. I'm so sorry.'

xxxxx

CPOV

I can't believe what I am hearing right now. I am in total shock as Ana continues to yell, getting angrier and angrier. I don't know how to help her, but maybe this is what she needs. If she needs a shoulder to cry on, I will be there. I she needs a wall to scream at, I will be that wall. If she wants a punching bag? Fuck, I will sit there and take it, but I just don't know if I can take her beating herself up instead.

'Anastasia, listen to me.' She stops pacing and looks me in the eyes. 'I can take alot of shit from people. Hell, I can dish out whatever is needed but do you see me beating myself up right now? Do you see me blaming you? No! Because it is not my fault and it sure as fuck is not your fault. I know that you are going to be all over the map with how you feel and I am going to be here every step of the way but I will not tolerate you doing this to yourself! We are a team, Anastasia, do you hear me? A team! We will do this TOGETHER. How many more times do I have to say that before it actually gets stuck in that beautiful head of yours? Every time you say you want to be alone, I will be right there regardless of what you say because look at yourself right now. You are a mess and what if I hadn't been here when this breakdown happened? I don't even want to think about it Ana because it breaks my heart. It breaks just seeing you like this, baby. I love you, I will repeat that as much as I have to as well. Come here.' She climbs back on to the bed and into my waiting arms. I think she finally calmed herself down, at least to the point of no tears. It will be a cold day in hell when she is alone to deal with this because if today is any indication for what's to come, it scares me to think of me not being here. When we get home I might talk to her about going to see a shrink. Hell, maybe I should go see one as well. I close my eyes, drift off to sleep and dream of four pairs of eyes staring at me from a distance.


	33. Chapter 33

**I got the idea for this chapter from a song by Collin Raye called Love, Me. It is a cute but sad song. As usual, thanks for all the love :)**

**xox Jac**

Chapter Thirty-Two: Love, Me

xxxxx

CPOV

_Pulling into the drive after a long day at work, all I can think about is going inside our beautiful home and wrapping my arms around my family. We have a big celebration this weekend so both families are coming and it's times like these that I'm glad we bought such a big chunk of land. I remember Ana being so disappointed because no matter how much we searched, we couldn't find the right house from her dream. So, I did what I do best and had it built. I would do anything for her and..._

_'DADDY!' ah, one of my beautiful princesses, 'hey sweetie, where are your sisters?' She shrugs her shoulders, 'I don't know, probably with mommy. I was just so excited 'cause your home and that means you read the story tonight.' I can't help but smile at her a give her a kiss on her forehead. As much as I don't want to, I put her down, 'go find your mom baby girl and tell her I will be down for dinner in a couple minutes.' No sooner after she's run off I hear giggling and look behind me, I see four pairs of eyes peaking around the corner at me, two with gray and two with blue. I am such a lucky and blessed man, even if I am the only man in a house full of girls, I wouldn't change a part of it._

I wake with a start as I hear the pilot on the speakers telling us its time head back to our seats. I look beside me and Ana is no longer there so I push myself off the bed and go searching. I don't have to go far because as soon as I open the door, I see her sitting in her seat talking with her grandmother. I give her a soft smile and a kiss as I sit down beside her and buckle myself in. It felt like I had been asleep for hours, but it wasn't even fifteen minutes. Weird. I look around the plane, I see everyone chatting, but some glance over at Ana like they aren't sure what to do or say. That girlfriend of Nixon's gives me a weird vibe, there's something I don't like about her and she is always seems to be glaring at my wife. I will have to talk to them about what the issue could be, it's bothering me. I turn my eyes back to Ana and see she is laughing and has a smile on her face, which in turn as usual, makes me smile. After I think about our talk earlier, I know we left some of it unfinished, I just couldn't take her beating herself up anymore. I was telling the truth when I said we face it together, I just don't know how I drill that into her pretty head. As we wait for the plane to descend, I do the same as Ana and write a note for our angel. I don't know if I will let anyone read it, but the lyrics from this song won't leave my head, so I grab a pen and piece of paper.

_If you get there before I do, don't give up on me._

_I'll meet you when my chores are through;_

_I don't know how long I'll be._

_But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see._

_And between now and then, till I see you again,_

_I'll be loving you. Love__, me_.

Before I know it, the plane has landed and we all make our way onto the Tarmac to the waiting cars so we can head home. Ana's parents have decided to stay for a couple extra days at my family home, while her grandparents are looking forward to the drive. I said we could have the plane stop on the way but Grammy chastised me and said it was good for old timers to travel every once in a while to see the road. I knew better than to argue so I just nodded my head and smiled. The ride home is filled with loud chatter but I don't mind, it keeps my head distracted. Little did I know that what happened on the plane was the last time Ana and I would discuss the baby.

APOV

Two weeks later...

I feel amazing. I feel like a new person, and nothing will change that. After the whole yelling incident on the plane, I don't feel like I have a huge weight on my shoulders and I know I should feel guilty for laying into Christian like I did but maybe that's all I needed. Sure, I think about the baby, but I don't dwell on it and I've been taking Christians advice by not looking back. I owe it to him to do that, and when he said those words, I thought back to the dream which turned into be my motivation. I know we will have more children, I know that I can give him that gift and I know that whatever happens between now and than is meant to be. I think he is worried about me because we don't talk. I mean, we talk, we just don't talk about that, and he probably thinks I'm holding everything in when really, I'm not.

After I have my shower and get dressed, I make my way into the kitchen for breakfast. Christian is sitting at the counter looking just as sexy as ever in a crisp charcoal gray suit. I give him a light kiss on his lips, 'good morning baby.'  
He smiles at me, 'hello gorgeous! How are you this morning?' Same question every morning and I give him the same answer, 'I am great! I have an amazing husband.' I giggle, 'and as much as I wish we could stay in bed all day, I know you have a company to run and I am thinking about going shopping today. I might even go talk to Elliott about a job at the record company. I know that I can't help him completely run it, but I could do something like...producer, writer, voice coach. I need something to keep me busy while your at work so I don't just sit around twiddling my thumbs.' I hear him laugh before he gets up, 'let me know how that works out for you baby, because I honestly think once my brother sees how skilled you are, he might just hand over the whole company to my beautiful wife.' He winks at me before he leans down for a kiss, 'I love you, Ana, so very much. I will talk to you later. Oh, and don't forget about Sawyer.' I wave as he heads out the door than grab my stuff as well.

xxxxx

Once we are in the car I tell Sawyer that he didn't have to accompany me today. 'Mr Grey insisted though, Mrs Grey. And I honestly don't mind. Just like you, I hate sitting around.' After he started to work for us, well me, I have tried to convince Sawyer to call me Ana but he refuses and says its too unprofessional. I can't help but laugh and shake my head at him because he will learn that sooner rather than later, I always get my way. Since that part of the conversation is over and he already knows where I want to go, I start digging in my purse for my Chapstick but come across a note instead. For the first time in two weeks, tears sting my eyes as I read the words from my loving husband,

_Ana,  
You're the thought in my dreams. You're the vision in my eyes. You're the sound in my ears. You're the words in my mouth. You're everything I need. You're everything I want. You're everything that makes me, me.  
-Christian xox_

Once Sawyer stops the car, we get out and I type a message thanking Christian for the beautiful words he had written. As soon as I finish, we start walking but I stop in my tracks as we get across the street, not really wanting to believe if what I'm seeing is real. I don't know why I'm so surprised, we do live in the same city for crying out loud. Oh crap, he's walking towards me. Think fast, Ana, what are you going to do? I guess I should put a fake smile on so he knows he won't phase me.

'Hey Ana. Married life agrees with you, you look amazing.' Wait a second, he's being nice? And sounds sincere?

'Hello Liam. I'm surprised to see you out and about. Where's your...girlfriend?' I choke back the bile that's risen up into my throat.

'Oh, Laurel? Yeah, I broke up with her. There's definitely something not right with that girl and it was starting to weird me out, her obsession with you was just the icing on the cake when I found out. I really am sorry, Ana. How about we go have a cup of coffee and we can, you know, talk.' He throws his hands up in surrender when he sees Sawyer give him a glare. 'I come in peace, I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize your happiness. Well, again.' I nod my head in agreement, 'that would be nice.' I let Sawyer know to call Christian so he doesn't freak out. This will definitely be interesting, if not informative, but I owe it to myself to be a better person. My sweet angel would want that. Oh my sweet, sweet angel, I miss you.


	34. Chapter 34

**I know some of you are probably thinking WTH when I ended the last chapter like I did, but I promise nothing bad will happen. :) that's why I'm posting this, it's small and I apologize but since we are in the middle of trying to move, I do what I can. As soon as things get organized I will do my best to put up a longer chapter!**

**Thanks for all the love xoxo Jac**

Chapter Thirty-Three: Good In Goodbye

xxxxx

**I** **don't regret it  
The time we had together  
I won't forget it  
But we both ended up where we belong  
I guess goodbye made us strong  
And yeah I'm happy  
I found somebody too who makes me happy  
And I knew one day I'll see you on the street  
And it'd be bittersweet**

xxxxx

APOV

'So, what made you decide to ask me for coffee?' I finally ask Liam as we are seated in a cafe just down the street. I see a mixture of things pass through his eyes before he answers.

'I miss you, Ana. I know I don't have the right, but I do. I was a complete fucking idiot ruining what we had, and I really did love you, I still do. I will probably always love you, but I know that your finally happy which in turn makes me happy. Like I said, I come in piece. I'm not doing this to have your man hate me or to try and get you back. I just want to apologize for everything that happened between us, everything that I did. I know I was selfish, I know I was an insensitive asshole, but it was Laurel who came onto me. She told me she caught you cheating and that instead of confronting you, I could just get you back by doing the same thing.' He takes a big breathe, 'I never meant for it to continue, Ana, but I ended up falling for her. I know I should've just talked to you and asked what had actually happened but now I realize I was just a pawn in her game to hurt you. I thought running into you at the bar that night was just a coincidence but she knew. She always knew. And when she told me about you and Christian, I was so angry, but than to find out that he was her ex just made me even more pissed.'

'Liam, can I ask you a question?' He nods. 'Did I ever give you an indication that I was or could have been unfaithful to you? I loved you so much it hurt. I would have done anything for you and to come home that day to find you in bed with her...it tore my heart into a million pieces. But, after having time to myself to think, as much as this may hurt you to hear, I knew I was better off. If you could so easily believe someone as mentally fucked up as her, than what would our relationship be based on? Even if you had come to me and asked, we wouldn't have the trust that we used to. You would be questioning everything I did and who I was with, and I would have done the same. Liam, I did love you but someone else has my heart now and he always will. I thought you broke me but he helped me put myself back together and he showed me I could still be loved by someone. Sure, we may have moved fast by getting married but I don't regret it. He makes me so happy every day, I almost don't deserve him but I will never let him go.' I glance at my watch quickly to see the time, 'look, I have to go but it was nice to see you. I hope you find someone who deserves and loves you as much as me and Christian. It will come, you just have to be patient.' As I turn to walk away, I remember one question I wanted to ask, 'Hey Liam. You wouldn't by chance have talked to the paps would you? They seem to believe that I have a drug problem but we don't know who could have talked to them.'

He gets a confused look on his face, 'Ana, no matter what we've been through or as much as I wish I could have you back, I would never stoop that low. Everyone who knows you knows the truth, they are probably just looking for a story. But, with that being said, I hope you find the asshole that spread those nasty rumors. See ya later, Annie. Tell Christian I'm sorry, for everything.' I shoot him a smile as I turn to walk out the door. As soon as I walk out of the cafe, I see the most handsome man in the world leaning against the wall. 'Howdy stranger, up for a little fun?' He throws his head back in laughter, 'I see your in a good mood and that shit head didn't ruin your day. I love you Anastasia. I just wanted you to know.' I kiss him lightly on the lips, 'I love you too, Christian.'

xxxxx

CPOV

Surprisingly, today has been a good day. Even though Ana and I still have to talk at some point, seeing her happy makes me feel good. I'm just walking about of a meeting when Taylor passes me my phone, so I give him a confused look until I see Sawyers name on the screen.

'Grey.'

'Sir, Mrs Grey wanted to call you and inform you of the situation.' Situation?

'What the fuck are you talking about Sawyer? What kind of situation is it that she couldn't call me herself?'

I hear him clear his throat, 'She has run into Mr Greenhorn, Sir, and they have just stepped into a cafe to..talk.' Oh for fucks sakes. I pinch the bridge of my nose, 'text me the details, Sawyer, we are on our way. Did he look angry?'

'No, Sir. He looked happy but sad at the same time. I will be waiting for you.' I hang up the phone and storm towards the elevator. 'Taylor, have them bring the car around, please. Apparently my wife has a thing with talking to stupid people.'

The drive to the cafe was quick, they were closer than I figured they were. As Taylor pulls up outside, I see them sitting at a table by the window. Sawyer was right, he does look sad whereas Ana looks irritated. One thing that makes me happy is he's not touching her and isn't making any moves to change that. Smart man, maybe I misjudged him. He did after all fuck up so bad with Ana that she left and found me. God, I'm a lucky son of a bitch. I decide to wait outside the car, but not make it seem like I'm spying, no matter how much I want to just run in there, throw her over my shoulder and leave.

I can't help but wonder what they are talking about in there. Why does he choose now? Why can't he just leave her alone? He's the one that hurt her, he shouldn't get a chance to explain is lame excuses. I would never give Laurel a second glance if she tried, but than again, she's a psychotic bitch who needs to be locked up. The silence from her is not a good thing, and that leads me to believe it was her who talked to the papers. I know Ana thinks the same thing so I have no choice to bring it up tonight. We need a plan, and for once I'm not coming up with anything. I'm looking down at my feet when I hear her beautiful voice, ' 'Howdy stranger, up for a little fun?' I cant help but laugh at how forward she is which means that the talk went okay, 'I see your in a good mood and that shit head didn't ruin your day. I love you Anastasia. I just wanted you to know.' She gives me a light kiss, 'I love you too, Christian.'


	35. Chapter 35

**Lemony!**

**I have been trying for three days to write this...sorry for the wait! xox Jac**

Chapter Thirty-Four: Shiver

**I wanna rush  
Into your touch  
It just feels so right  
I wanna rush  
Into your touch  
It's like seeing the sun  
For the very first time  
It gets me every time**

xxxxx

APOV

After pulling Christian away from the wall and into the car Taylor had pulled up to the curb, I grab his face and give him a quick but soft peck on the lips. 'Thats all I get from my beautiful wife? I don't find that fair.' He starts pouting which makes me laugh.

'If I give you anything more, I don't think we will make it to the apartment before I take advantage of you. Thank you for not barging into the cafe when I was talking to Liam, I'm proud of you.'

He lets out a snort, 'it took all my restraint not to do that, but I know you needed it. What did he have to say by the way?' He looks at me questioningly. 'He just said that he's happy for us and even though he still loves me, he would never take me away from you. I was actually quite impressed with how that went because I wasn't expecting it at all. He also said that Laurel is completely psycho and that's half the reason he ended it with her. Oh, and he apologized.'

He looks shocked, 'the bastard actually apologized, eh? Well, good for him. Doesn't mean I'm going to go up to him and shake his hand but I should thank him for being a complete fucking idiot. If it wasn't for his bad choices, I wouldn't have you sitting beside me right now and I would be a miserable asshole.' We smile at each other as he pulls me in for a deeper kiss than before. As he pulls away, Taylor has just parked the car so Christian gets out to open my door for me. The whole way up in the elevator, we steal steamy glances at each other, both of us on either ends because we know what is about to happen. Sure enough, as soon as the door opens, he grabs my hand and leads me out to the bedroom before he pushes me up against the wall, digging his hips into me.

xxxxx

CPOV

Her lips were soft and moist. I kiss her back passionately, my arms caressing her waist, holding her close to my body. Our tongues darted together lightly, playfully, pausing every so often to remove one another's clothing. When I had her fully nude, I laid her on the bed and ran my tongue down her belly, trailing kisses down to her soft, sweet pubic patch. She moaned and opened her legs.

"Oh, yes," she purred.

My tongue darted in, tasting her sweetness, nibbling her clit every now and than sending waves of pleasure through her as her body rocked and bucked on the bed. Her juices flowed steadily, and I lapped them up like a starving man having his last meal. As I continue my assault on Ana's beautiful body, I slowly slip a finger inside, sending her into orgasm.

She grabs a fistful of my hair and gently pulls my face away from her pussy. I make my way up slowly, leaving kisses of where I once was as she sits up and meets me halfway, pulling me in a lip locking kiss. Her kisses are greedy as she tastes her own juices. Her hands found my stiff tool, she pushes me back down on the bed and dives for my cock.

I lay back closing my eyes, nerves tingling with the sensation of her slurping lips. She sucks noisily, licking her way down my shaft and pausing to take each testicle in her mouth, sucking gently. I cant help but moaned in pleasure. She ran her lips up the full length back to the head. She licked it slowly and gazed at it lustfully, than she opened her mouth and engulfed me again.

I cant seem to keep control any longer as I moan and pump my hips up and down, plunging my cock in and out of her warm mouth as she sucked noisily, her hand jerking with each stroke. She stopped just shy of an earth shattering orgasm and positions herself over me moaning as she impaled herself on my thick rod. I revel in her tight wetness as my cock sank in her. Her beautiful ass rested against my upper thighs as she rides me furiously. Grabbing onto her, I meet each thrust with one of my own, pushing myself deeper and deeper inside her.

I sit up making Ana lean onto my shoulder as she continues to ride my cock. I cup her breasts and kiss her nipples as they fall in my face. She leans back, eyes closed, and screams my name as she climaxes. Her body quivering, her pussy muscles clenching around my hard cock as it gets buried even deeper inside her.

I put his arms around Ana's waist and turn her over gently, trying not to slip out of her. She flipped over on her back eagerly, spreading her legs high and wide. I smile as I see that the head of my cock was still inside her, and I sink deep in her once again.

She was moaning again, crying my name out over and over as I pistoned in and out of her. She pulled me closer, and her mouth sought mine, I taste her lips and tongue as I make love to her, my hips bobbing up and down. I moved with such frantic passion that in no time I felt the pressure build deep down in my balls. Her pussy tightened around my cock just as I exploded, unleashing steams of cum deep inside her.

When we are both spent, we lay embraced in each other for a minute, catching our breath. Our sweat covered bodies feel cool in the air conditioned room, and as I ease myself out of my beautiful wife, I catch a smile on her face.

'I love you, Anastasia, always and forever. Thank you.' I say as I lay down beside her and pull her to me. I see her give me a confused look, 'what are you thanking me for?' I look deep in her beautiful baby blues, 'for everything, for this. I'm making it my mission to prove to you every day just how much you mean to me, I promise you.' She cuddles deeper into my side and she falls asleep with me not far behind, her breathing lulling me into a dream full of what's to come in the future.


	36. Chapter 36

**Howdy all! I know this probably could be longer, but I've had this in my head for a couple days and wasn't sure about even writing it, it seems kinda...dumb..to me lol! But, here it is, enjoy!**

**xox Jac**

Chapter Thirty-Five: Dreams

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APOV

_I feel the gentle breeze coming through an open window, the light shining through my eyelids. As a smile slowly creeps onto my face, I get a bad feeling and it disappears. My eyes shoot open but instead of seeing the soft blue of Christians room, I'm faced with the pink of my childhood one. How the hell did I get here? I throw the blankets off and climb out of bed to make my way downstairs where I hear muffled voices and what sounds like my mother crying. As I step into the living room, my whole family is there looking sad, 'Whats going on? You guys look like someone died.' I ask, but no one looks in my direction, no one even registers that I spoke. That's...strange. I walk over to Danny and put my hand on his shoulder but again, he doesn't move to acknowledge me._

_'I can't believe my baby is gone. How could someone do this to her? My little Ana never hurt a soul, so why did her life have to be taken?' I hear my mother sob while my dad wraps his arms around her and pulls her in. 'I don't know, Carla, but Christian promises that he will find out who did it.' I'm...dead? How? Who? Oh my god! I have to find Christian_!

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CPOV

_I awake to be faced with what may as well be called another sleepless night. I don't think you could count three hours on and off as a good one. I roll over to face Ana's side, I can't believe it's been only a week since she was taken from me, it feels like forever. I haven't let Gail wash the sheets, I just can't imagine not having my wife's scent on her pillow. Silent tears fall from my eyes, it hurts not having her here. We were supposed to live forever. Have a family, grow old, enjoy everything that life had to give us. But no, because of someone's selfishness, she was taken away and now there's a huge hole where my heart used to be. As I go to climb out of bed, I hear rustling coming from the living room. With what's happened, I probably shouldn't, but I make my way to _see what is going on. But, what I see is something I never expected to see again.

A/CPOV

'_Christian...oh god, baby! What happened to you? You look horrible!' She runs to him throwing her arms around his neck. All he can do is stare, 'Ana? Your really here?'_

_She looks shocked, 'of course I am, where else would I be? Please don't tell me you think I'm dead, because I just had the weirdest dream ever! I woke up at my parents place but when I went downstairs to find out what was going on, mom was crying about how someone could take me away, no one answered my questions when I asked. They didn't even acknowledge that I was in the same room as them. What's going on Christian? I'm really confused here...'_

_'Oh Ana...that wasn't a dream, but how I'm seeing you right now, really scares me. Am I dead too? I can't believe I'm holding you right now, I've missed you so fucking much.'_

_'What do you mean it wasn't a dream? That means I'm...I'm actually..dead? Who would do something like this? And yes, if I am...anyways, how the hell am I talking to you right now? This doesn't make any sense, Christian.' As she looks at him, she sees he's been crying which only makes her cry even more. The fact that someone hated her so much, the fact that someone couldn't stand her being happy..something is seriously wrong._

_'Well hello lovebirds, I see you still haven't figured it out yet. But let me shed a little light onto the situation for you. Ana, you are an ungrateful and selfish bitch who doesn't care about about anyone but yourself. You couldn't leave him alone could you? You just had to come and steal my man from under my nose when I was distracted. Sure, I may have deserved him cheating on me but he could have picked someone with a little bit more...class. You, honey, don't have any. I don't regret what I did and they don't have enough proof to frame me, no matter how much you try, Christian. I've been right under your noses the whole time without you realizing it, I wonder how much more I can get away with. I should have dealt with your sorry excuse for a skank ass in high school.'_

_I can't believe it. No, I don't want to believe it. It was her?! I should have told Christian about my feeling. I should have listened to Liam when he was trying to explain about her, Ana thinks to herself. Just than, rooms go dark one by one. 'No, no, no!' She screams, 'this cannot be happening. Someone help me_!'

'Ana? Ana baby, wake up! Your having a bad dream, come on sweetheart, open those eyes for me.' Just like every other morning, blue meets gray, but the only difference is the sadness and anger in both. 'Did...was...oh god, it felt so real!' she sobs into his chest. 'I know baby, I was there.' he whispers as he rubs her back.

'What are we going to do? Why the hell did that even happen?' she says.

'I don't know baby,' he replies, 'but as was said in the dream, I promise to find out everything. Laurel won't get away with anything, I swear to you on my life.' She snorts, 'not funny Christian.'


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty-Six: Family Bonding

**Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what.**

xxxxx

'Are you just going to sit there and completely ignore the fact that something is seriously wrong?' Looking at Christian as he sits calm and comfortable at his office desk, it makes me frustrated that we haven't found Laurel yet. What's even more weird is that we had the same dream. Has that ever happened before?

'Ana, we've been looking for her and there hasn't been one clue. I know what was said and I know what we need to do, but as of right now, yes I am going to sit here and ignore what's going on because I have a beautiful wife who needs to relax. So with that being said, go and get ready because mom and Mia will be here shortly to take you out for the day. Before you even think of arguing with me, you are doing this for not just yourself but for me as well, you deserve to be pampered.' He gives me a chaste kiss and pushes me towards the bedroom. I turn away with a huff, not wanting to believe for a second that he's telling me everything. If me pampering myself is what he wants, than so be it. The credit cards will definitely be getting a work out today.

xxxxx

After a full morning of cruising the shops, its decided that a lunch break is needed before we continue to spend money. We takes our seats at the table the waiter led us too, and all I want to do is take my shoes off. 'I don't know how you ladies do it.' Both Mia and Grace give me weird questioning looks. 'Walking in heels. My feet are absolutely killing me right now.'

They both laugh, 'you are just inexperienced, Ana. Trust me, hang around enough and you will get used to it in no time.' Mia says with a glitter in her eye. I like my shopping, don't get me wrong, but I prefer my trusty sandals over heels. I can't believe I let them talk me into this. 'I see that look missy, and you have an image to uphold now remember? I know Maddy has already given you shit for it, but you cannot leave the house in just anything! That is why you have me, us. We are here to help, hence why we visited every single store today.' She lets out a soft chuckle.

'I just feel like now everyone is a brown noser, you know. They could've cared less about me before and now just because I'm married to Christian, I all of a sudden have a billion new best friends. I'm only out here spending money because I was given no choice,' I glare at the two ladies sitting in front of me. 'Even though I am having a blast.' We all laugh while clinking glasses as we toast to health and happiness.

'Ana, honey, you seem a little distracted. Besides the whole shopping thing, is there something bothering you?' Grace questions. I sigh, not sure exactly what to say.

'Yes and no. I had this really weird dream last night and Christian did as well. It makes no sense, and the confusing part is, I don't know if I should believe it or not.' When I look back, they are giving me the same look as if saying to continue. 'You see, in my dream I was apparently dead.' They both gasp. 'That's the upsetting part. The confusing part is when Christians dream merged into mine, and we saw the person who supposedly killed me. Now, we can't find said person and they have been causing problems for a while. We don't know if they are planning something and the dream was a way for us to get ahead by a couple steps or if I just want to believe said person is that evil.'

Before anyone could say anything, Mias phone rings, and after taking a look at the caller id, she excuses herself. Why does everything seem strange to me? I mean, it's not the end of the world of someone takes a call away from the table, but that's not usually the way for Mia. I begin to brush it off as I feel Grace take my hand.

'Sweetie, are you sure your okay?' my lovely mother in law asks, with a sad look in her eyes

'Depends on what your really asking about,' I let out a breath. 'With everything that's gone on the last few months, I think it's finally all starting to get to my head. When I broke it off with Liam, I never expected myself to be where I am now. Met and married the love of my life in the matter of weeks, which now that I think about it, seems too fast and I wish we had waiting, but please don't tell Christian that.' She shakes her head. 'Im silently dealing with the whole miscarriage thing, and since I know Christian informed you and Carrick about Laurel, she is just the icing on top of the fucking cake. Christian wants to try again for more kids, and I'm not opposed to it, but I would like to wait a bit longer before we embark on that part of our lives. Is that selfish of me?'

'Anastasia, you are anything but selfish. There's no harm in waiting, especially after something like what you two have been through. You don't have to deal with this by yourself, you have us to lean on and talk to, Ana. As for Laurel? Don't get me started on that psychotic bitch. She will get what's coming to her and if she lays a hand on one of my children, she will be dealing with me. That's not something anyone ever wants to see.'

I silently laugh as I think of what to say next, not knowing if I'm going to sound as heartless as I feel. 'Grace, this is just between you and me right?' She slowly nods. 'Christian and I have talked about what happened regarding the baby, I just can't stop the feelings inside me. One day I don't even think about it and feel like it never happened, I feel light as air. But the next...I just cry. Not for the fact that we lost the baby, but because the chance was taken away from my husband. Talking and thinking about it right now, I think I'm a horrible person and Christian deserves someone better, someone who can make all of his dreams come true. What if we can never have kids of our own? My heart breaks for him because I can see it in his eyes, Grace. Even if we had no money, no nothing, besides me, that's the only thing he wants.'

She reaches across the table and wipes the tears from my face, 'Ana darling, no matter what happens, my son will always love you. Stop beating yourself up, you are better than that. Of course, it's natural for you to feel the way you do, because like the doctor said, you never knew so your feelings are going to be a little different towards the situation. I would love nothing more than to have grandchildren, but only when the time is right. Don't rush it because its what he wants, you need to want it as well. As for not being able to have your own, there's always adoption or surrogate, but you will never know until you try. Stop dwelling on things you cannot change, you will only make yourself more miserable. And honestly, I love seeing that beautiful smile on your face. I love you pretty girl, always and forever.'

I get up and walk to the other side of the table to give this amazing woman a hug, 'thank you so much, Grace. I will try harder I promise.' Just as we finish, Mia comes back to the table jabbering about more shopping. As we make our way out of the restaurant, I realize how loved I really am and it makes me smile. Just having that chat with Grace lifted my spirits and for a short time, I forget all the horrible things going on in the world and enjoy the company from two of my favorite women.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Sin For A Sin

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**Bad things come with consequence  
What feels good, hurts in the end  
Dont want to think about that now**

**I need to repent  
A sin for a sin**

xxxxx

MPOV

I start to walk away from the table before I answer my phone, just to make sure that Ana can't hear me. I know she probably suspects something is up considering I never leave the table. I normally don't care if someone hears my conversations. If you have a problem with it, stop being so fucking nosy!

'Christian, my dear brother, to what do I owe the pleasure of this unexpected phone call?' I try not to voice my irritation, but I really don't want Ana mad at me.

I hear him chuckle, 'I know this is not the best time but as usual, I need your help, my amazing little sister.'

I snort, 'need my help with what? You pulled me away from our mother and your wife you know.'

'Yes, I know that, Mia, and that's why I called. I need you to distract Anastasia for a little bit longer. We believe we finally found Laurel and I don't want this stress on her, she's been through enough. I will send you a message when it's clear for you guys to bring her home, but until than take her to more stores, a show, to buy a new house, I really don't fucking care. But please, I need this from you and I will get you whatever you want.'

As much as I love my brother, I really dislike him sometimes. 'Fine but you owe me Christian Grey! Love you big bro.'

'Love you too, Mia. Take care of Ana for me, please.' I give him my word before I hang up and head back to the table.

'I'm so sorry about that. It was Ryder trying to finalize our plans for the honeymoon. I didn't want to bore you with the details.' I give them both a smile, but I know Ana can tell I'm lying. I don't want to, but if its to protect her than I know it's best. She really has been through alot the last little while and I don't want to put anything else onto her pretty little shoulders. 'Hey ladies, how about we go enjoy the rest of the afternoon at the spa. Manis, pedis, massages, haircuts, the whole nine yards! I think we deserve it don't you?' They agree with me, which makes me feel a little bit better about the lie. At least I'm good at distractions, but there is a reason I never told Christian he would be paying for it. All.

We spent a solid four hours getting pampered before I finally received a text from Christian saying it was okay to bring Ana home. Finally. I do love my family, but I would rather be at home having amazing sex with my fiancé right now, not be on babysitting duty. I sometimes wonder if Christian wishes he had no money, than he could live a normal life. I definitely couldn't handle it, I'm too high maintenance, but that's fine by me. My man doesn't mind either because he makes it his mission to spoil me every day. Speaking of which, I wonder what he bought me!

xxxxx

L/SPOV

I'm tired of having to hide from those pathetic fucking people. I shouldn't have to, but they apparently are out hunting for me since they think I did something horrible. I don't think talking to the paps was bad. I only told them things they wanted to hear, they didn't have to write about it.

Oh well, everyone gets what's coming to them eventually right? They will get theirs, and once little miss princess is dealt with, I can have my life back. Christian. I can picture it all now, beautiful house, lots and lots of children running around, him making love to me every second of the day. My mother still says I'm crazy but I don't think so. She doesn't know what she's talking about, there's a reason her and my father are getting a divorce. And my brother? Fuck, he's such a loser. He just had to go and be a fucking cop, makes me have to work a hell of a lot harder to accomplish what needs to be done.

I don't get why no one believes me when I tell them how horrible of a person Ana is. 'Oh, she's an angel, she would never hurt a soul.' I had one person say to me. Fuck that! The only joy I've had from being in hiding is watching her become careless again. She thinks I'm not a threat anymore, and boy is she wrong. The worst is yet to come, I just have to get her alone and I will wait forever if I have to. Just as I start to finalize my plan, my phone rings. Looking at the caller ID, I roll my eyes.

'I thought I told you to never call me on this number you fucking idiot!' I bark down the line.

'Im sorry, Stephy, but you need to figure out what the fuck your going to do. I can't keep trying to cover your ass every time.'

I sigh, 'I know and I'm sorry but I'm doing the best that I can. It's kind of hard to leave when I have people out looking for me. Fuck, I had to dye my hair just so I could stop wearing that wig. It made my head itchy.'

The idiot has enough balls to laugh at me, 'I don't really give a fuck! I told you that I would help, but I can only do so much. Once you get your shit figured out, let me know.' Click.

Click?! That mother fucker has the nerve to hang up on ME? This game is about to get really fucking dirty.


	39. Chapter 39

**I want to give a special thanks to a very special lady for this chapter! I would still be stick in a rut if it weren't for your fantastic ideas! This ones for you, and I hope it is everything we imagined ;)**

**xox Jac**

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Forever & Always

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**I want you forever, forever and always**

**Through the good and the bad and the ugly**

**We'll grow old together, and always remember**

**Whether happy or sad or whatever**

**We'll still love each other, forever and always**

**Forever and always, forever and a****lways**

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APOV

As I open my eyes to the morning light, it's yet another day I've lived to see. But as I roll over and see my husband just staring at me with that evil smile of his, I realize that this is definitely not just another day, it is in fact my birthday. I don't feel much like celebrating, and I think he can tell, but we've been doing so well lately that I don't want to ruin that. 'Morning handsome.' I smile at him, 'as much as I love you, it is kind of creepy when you watch me.'

He smiles and laughs, 'baby, I could stare at you all day long. You are the most beautiful sight. The way your eyes shine, your skin is slightly flushed and soft to the touch. The way your breathing changes when I do this,' as he runs his fingers from my breasts down to my thighs. 'I love everything about you, Anastasia. Today, is all about you and me showing how much you mean to me. By the way, happy birthday baby.' Before I realize what's happening, Christian has me pinned beneath him on the bed, kissing me with purpose, his hands travelling down my body making sure to hit every spot, especially the sensitive ones that make me squirm. 'I need you Christian.' I whisper against his lips and he lets out a soft groan, letting me know he feels the same way.

xxxxx

After a couple rounds of amazing sex with my husband, I almost find myself in a daze as I get dressed. The last couple of months have been...silent. Almost too silent, but wonderful at the same time. Christian decided it would be good for us to take a little vacation, so we flew to a little place I had never heard of before, Tofino, BC. It was absolutely beautiful, and even though it was full of hippies, it was a wonderful experience. The beach is definitely different than what we are used to, but a good different. Watching the waves crash onto the rocks and shore as we wandered and watched all the surfers was relaxing. Christian tried to get me to surf but I refused and said he could, so that's what him and Taylor did.

We enjoyed amazing dinners at the hotel, The Wickaninnish Inn. The restaurant was quiet which is just what Christian wanted, we were left alone and the only interruptions were from the wait staff. During one of the boys surf lessons, I watched a family wander the beach; a mother, father and their two children. I couldn't help but daydream about having my own, and that's when I decided it was time to have that conversation again.

'_Christian, we need to talk.' When I see the shock and his face fall, I realized I probably shouldn't have worded it like that, so I laugh. 'I didn't mean it like that baby, don't worry. I was just thinking today when we were on the beach.' I pause, taking a shaky breath before I continue. 'I think I'm ready.'_

_'Okay, I'm confused right now. Ready for what, exactly?'_

_'I think we should start trying. I'm ready to have a baby. Your baby.' I smile at him as I see the excitement in his eyes. 'Really? Your sure, like one hundred percent? Because we will go upstairs and start trying right now if you are!' I nod my head an he's up and grabbing my hand in the blink of an eye_.

That night, even though it was filled with purpose, our love making was powerful. Proving just how much we meant to each other, just how much we needed the other and how much the other had our heart. And for the first time in a while, three beautiful children occupied my dreams, giving me a glimpse of my hopefully not distant future.

xxxxx

I'm brought back to the present by Christian clearing his throat. I look into the mirror and see his gorgeous face plastered with a smile. 'What are you thinking about baby? You were lost for a while.'

'I was thinking about the trip we took, remembering the conversation we had and the aftermath that followed.' I feel the infamous blush take over as he stalks towards me, pulling me up into his arms.

'Do you feel different? Do you feel like you could be pregnant at all?' he asks while slightly running his hand over my flat stomach.

'I kind of do. I'm feeling a little crampy and my breasts are tender. We can stop at the drug store on our way to your parents.'

'I can't wait till you are round from carrying our child, Ana. You are more than beautiful the way you are, but there's just something about picturing you that way. Knowing you are mine and carrying the most perfect treasure, a combination of us both, proof of our love. I love you more than words can say, wife. Forever and always.'

My eyes start to water at his beautiful words. 'Forever and always, husband.'

'Alright, now that the lovey dovey crap is out of the way, lets get this show on the road.' As I start to walk away shaking my head at him, he smacks my ass making my yelp. 'That wasn't very nice you know. Maybe I will cut you off for the day.'

His booming laughter startles Taylor and Gail as we are making our way to the elevator. 'Baby, you could never cut me off. You love it too much. Now, can we go please? I have a surprise for you.'

xxxxx

Before I can ask where we are going, I see a sign up ahead for the car dealership Christian usually deals with. I start to get all giddy because just the other day we were talking about adding another vehicle to our collection. 'You're getting me a vehicle for my birthday? This is for real?!'

A smile creeps onto his face as he nods, 'I have already picked one out and I know you will like it. It's perfect for us, especially for when we have children. We won't need to get a bigger vehicle and Taylor can add any security features he needs to it. You can drive whenever, but obviously you will need to have security with you and they will drive it as well.' I know better than to start a fight about it so I just agree. As we get out of the car, that's when I see her. A brand new 2013 Cadillac Escalade in a fantastic silvery white. I'm in love instantly and don't even hear the salesman as he explains all the features to us. I touch her just to make sure she's real and not just my imagination conjuring up the most amazing vehicle just to pull it out from underneath me. I look over just as Christian hands over his credit card and his phone rings. He looks at me apologetically after he answers it, I know that it can't be a good thing. 'Im sorry baby, but that was Ros. I have to go in and deal with this contract but I promise I will not be long. I really hate to leave you on your birthday.' He gives me a sad smile.

'Its okay, I will just meet you at your parents place. I will take the car and you can take my baby home.'

'Great. I've been replaced by a god damn vehicle.' I hear him mutter under his breath after he gives me a kiss, I can't help but giggle.

I wait for him to pull out of the parking lot before I leave, almost wanting to change my mind and go with him but I know I will see him soon enough. I'm so consumed in my thoughts that I just barely notice a vehicle right behind me. I squint trying to see who's in the drivers seat, but can't tell if its a man of woman. Panic starts to set in when a bad feeling comes over me, and I do the only thing I know to do in a situation like this. Bringing up the hands free on the dash, I punch in the number I know by heart and it feels like forever before he picks up.

'Christian, something is wrong. Someone is following me, or at least I think they are. They've been behind me since I left the dealership. I'm freaking out, I don't...'

'Baby, just stay calm please. I don't need you crashing. Just pay attention to road signs and get off when you see the exit for Bellevue. I will meet you there, I'm leaving the office now. I love you.' I look out the window as the car comes speeding up beside me and I'm beyond shocked when I see its Laurel. As she swerves to hit me, I slam the gas and all she gets is my bumper. I don't know what this bitch thinks she is going to accomplish but if she were to come up to me, face to face, I could probably kill her with my bare hands.

Looking in the rear view mirror was probably the biggest lapse in judgement, but slowing down slightly made up for it because all of a sudden I see her car come flying out of nowhere and smash into the back of mine again. The impact was bad, even though it could have been worse, spinning me around the road before I come to a complete stop facing the direction I had just left. What I see shocks me more as my adrenaline still pounds in my blood. Cars stopping in the middle of the bridge, smashing into each other trying to avoid the major collision that's flying towards them. I don't know when she lost control, but all I could see was Laurels car rolling, to me, in slow motion, finally coming to a stop when she meets the ass end of a semi than bursting into flames. I don't remember much after that, but I could hear someone trying to talk to me than to someone else, only word I could make out was shock before everything went black. No sight. No sound. Just...nothing.


	40. Chapter 40

**So...in regards to the last chapter, it was way cooler in my head. You know, car chase..explosion..boom..full out effects like in Bad Boys or something. Yup, I'm a loser lol! Thanks for the responses though. All the reviews, followers and faves make me happy :)**

xox Jac

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Endlessly

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**..and there's no guarantee,  
that this will be easy.  
It's not a miracle ya need, believe me.  
Yeah, I'm no angel, I'm just me,  
but I will love you endlessly.  
Wings aren't what you need, you need me**.

xxxxx

I can hear voices, so that has to be a good thing, right? I can't seem to open my eyes no matter how hard I try and my throat is too dry to let me speak. I don't want to give up the fight but since I don't know what else to do, I just lay here and listen to the people around me.

'Doctor, why isn't she waking up? You said she was fine!' Oh, Christian. Hearing his voice sound so sad breaks my heart.

'Mr Grey, when I said there was nothing wrong, I meant it.' i hear the doctor say. 'The term "fight or flight" is what we often use to characterize the body's reaction to very stressful situations. It is an evolutionary adaptation that allows the body to react to danger quickly. Dilated air passages, for example, allow the body to get more oxygen into the lungs quickly, increasing physical performance for short bursts of time. The blood vessels contract in most of the body, which redirects the blood toward the heart, lungs, and major muscle groups to help fuel the reaction.

When a person encounters a potentially dangerous situation, like Mrs Grey, the hypothalamus in the brain signals the adrenal glands to release adrenaline and other hormones directly into the bloodstream. The body's systems react to these hormones within seconds, giving the person a nearly instant physical boost. Strength and speed both increase, while the body's ability to feel pain decreases. This hormonal surge is often referred to as an "adrenaline rush." In addition to a noticeable increase in strength and performance, this hormone typically causes heightened awareness and increased respiration. The person may also feel lightheaded, dizzy, and experience changes in vision.

Though adrenaline can play a key role in the body's survival, it can also cause detrimental effects over time. Prolonged and heightened levels of the hormone can put enormous pressure on the heart muscle and can, in some cases, cause heart failure. Since you look so confused, I will put it in simple terms. Basically Anastasia's body has shut down to protect itself. She needs rest, she can't be up running around thinking she is fine because she's not. I will leave you with her, but I will be returning in an hour or so when I make my rounds. Be patient Mr Grey, she will wake up when she's ready.'

I hear the doctor leave the room and my husband pull a chair to my bedside. 'Come on baby, I need you to wake up for me. The doctor says your just resting but I need to see those beautiful blue eyes to know for myself.'

All I can do is let out a soft moan to let him know I'm awake. 'Oh Ana! Come on sweetheart, you can do it.'

Inside my head I'm laughing at his tone. So full of excitement and happiness, where only seconds ago it was full of sadness and a hint of anger. At me? I don't know but I hope not! 'Wa...ter..'

'Of course baby, here,' as he puts the straw to my lips, 'slow sips, Ana. We don't want you to get sick.' I nod my head and do as I'm told, bracing myself for the conversation that's about to take place.

'Christian, I'm sorry. I should've been more..' He holds his hand up, causing me to stop.

'Don't you dare apologize for what happened. This has nothing to do with being your fault and the only person to blame is Laurel. I'm just sorry we never caught her when we had the chance, but we did get enough to get her put in jail soon if nothing had happened.

'There wasn't much left if her car when the police got to the scene, but there was enough to know that she wasn't the only one.' I see the hesitance on his face and I know it can't be good so I grab his hand, silently urging him to go on.

'The first time we heard a conversation between her and the other person was a couple weeks ago and it's not good. She had this person try to get close to you, make you feel safe, secure that this person was on our side, but the whole time we were being played.'

CPOV

'Who was it, Christian?' She asks in a rough voice, her throat probably sore after recent events.

I find myself not being able to look at her, feeling ashamed that I let it get as far as I did. 'It was Liam.' Confusion, anger, sadness as well as slight understanding flash over her, almost like things are starting to make sense. 'So..he knew. The whole time, he knew what she was going to do to me and he almost let it happen. I was starting to trust him again, he was supposed to be helping us find her but he knew along. That bastard better pray he never crosses my path because I will kill him!'

A chuckle escapes at her words, mostly because I know she is telling the truth. 'Baby, you don't have to worry anymore, and I'm saying that honestly. I can fill you in on what happened if you want?' She nods her head, waiting for me to continue. 'Well, I'm assuming you saw the car..explode. According to the EMTs, Laurel was found a few feet away from the blast, said she had been thrown from the car as it was probably flipping. She was breathing when they got to her but unfortunately she didn't last long.

'When they got the blaze put out, they were inspecting the car when they found a body in the trunk. It had been burnt so bad they couldn't tell who it was, but thank god for dental records. We are waiting for the results as we speak, but I have a pretty good idea on who it was. Yesterday we reviewed information from one of the phone calls between Laurel and Liam. He was telling her how he couldn't keep up the game anymore, things were changing and he couldn't stand to hurt you more than he already had. Taylor thinks she killed him before he had a chance to tell you anything, so even if she had survived, she would be going to jail for a very long time. I know this is a lot to take in, Ana, but no secrets, even if the situation is as bad as this.'

I'm waiting for her to say something, anything, but she looks too deep in thought. 'What are you thinking baby?' She looks up at me with a weird expression on her face, 'I'm so glad you drove my baby home instead of me taking her. I don't think I could handle it if something happened to her.' As usual, she has stunned me into silence. Did she really just say that?


	41. Chapter 41

**In case there was any confusion with the ending of the last chapter, when Ana was talking about her 'baby', she was referring to her new vehicle ;)**

**I also want to add that I am not taking this from anyone else's story. I have had majority of this planned since I began, but with all the stealing going on, I just wanted to clarify its my own :)**

**xox Jac**

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Chapter Forty: I Turn To You

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**When I'm lost in the rain,  
In your eyes I know I'll find the light  
To light my way**

xxxxx

I cannot wait to break free from here. I don't know why they have even kept me here as long as they have, it's not like anything is wrong with me. 'Christian?'

He glances up at me from his wretched phone, 'yes baby? You okay?'

'I am fine but I want to go home. I can't stand being stuck in this bed any longer. Can you please go find someone to discharge me? Plus, we need to make a stop on the way home.'

He walks away with a confused look on his face but doesn't question what I said as he goes in search of the doctor. How am I supposed to bring this up? We only just discussed doing it this morning, but with everything that's gone on, my plans to stop before Bellevue didn't really work. I can feel panic set in. What am I going to do if its right? I know Christian will be happy but I also can't help but feel like its too soon. Great, I'm at war with myself again. I really need to stop doing this, really not helping the stress levels.

I decide to get up and start getting ready so the doctor knows I'm serious about heading home. As I stand and wait, I decide to shoot a text to Taylor to see if he can stop at the store for me, and thankfully he agrees. Just as I finish reading his response, my favourite guy enters my room with papers in hand and a huge smile on his face. 'You're free to go baby, so lets get your sweet ass home!' I can't hold in the giggle as he swings me into his arms and carries me to the waiting vehicle.

xxxxx

This cannot be happening. I could have sworn everything I was feeling was right, and my body has never been wrong before. As much as I was worrying before, I am downright heartbroken now. My worst fears are about to become a reality and there's nothing I can do about it. I am pulled from my thoughts by a knocking at the door. 'Anastasia, you doing okay in there? You've been gone quite a while.'

I open the door to a worried Christian, but as he's met with my tear stained face, he instantly goes into protection mode. 'Baby, what's wrong!? Are you okay? Your not hurt are you?' He's checking me over like he hasn't seen me in forever and that's when I know I have to tell him what I've done.

I can't meet his eyes as I hold up the five different tests in my hand and as he goes to grab them, I can't help but apologize. 'I'm so sorry Christian. I really thought our lives would be changing but apparently I can't even give you the one thing you asked from me. Negative, every single damn fucking test is negative.' As I break down and fall to my knees, he falls with me, comforting me.

'Its alright baby. I know it hurts, but like before we will get through this because we are together.' I hear him take a big breath. 'Anastasia, this changes nothing. We will keep trying and if it turns out that we can't have children of our own, than we will go a different route. We can get a surrogate or there's adoption, there is always a child out there looking for a home. You are going to be the best mother in the whole world, don't let this be the thing to bring you down, you always have me here for you to lean on. Come on sweetheart, lets get you something to eat and than we can curl up and watch a movie. Does that sound good?' I seem to have no words so I nod to let him know I heard what he said.

As he goes to lift me up though, I suddenly feel nauseous and barely make it to the toilet before I spew everywhere. 'What is wrong with me, Christian? I have felt like this for the last couple weeks and its why I thought I was pregnant. If its not that, than what?'

'Let me call the doctor and see if we can figure that out okay babe? I promise everything will be okay!' As he exits the room to grab his phone, I find myself overcome with what could be called a hot flash. My entire body is on fire and covered in sweat. I can't breathe, my chest feels too tight. Just as my vision starts to go blurry, Christian comes back in the room and says we are going to the hospital. As soon as I'm in his arms, I cuddle into his chest and hope that whatever is wrong, goes away. I can't stand being sick, and being completely in the dark doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

During the ride, I feel almost normal before the nausea sets in again but by than, we have pulled into a parking spot and my husband is lifting me out of the car. One of the things I love about being a Grey is never having to wait for anything. We are instantly pulled into a room, and before me is Grace.

'Hi darling, I hear your not feeling good. My son told me about the pregnancy tests after he explained all your symptoms, but if you don't mind, I would like to do an ultrasound just to make sure. There could be a lot of reasons as to why this is happening. You could have gone through another miscarriage but your body might not have gotten rid of everything and so it could still be hanging around in your uterus. I know with what happened last time, we have to be super careful, but I want to do an internal, is that okay?' When I nod my head, she tells me to strip from the waist down and cover myself once I'm on the bed. I see her grab the wand in her hand and cover it with a condom before telling me to relax. This has to be the most uncomfortable and most embarrassing situation in the world.

'Just relax, Ana. This isn't normally my field but when Christian called me worried, I wanted to help any way that I could. I do have some good news though. There is nothing left in your uterus from the miscarriage...' When I hear the pause, the panic that I thought was gone, returns. As I turn to look at her though, the smile on her face stops me from saying anything. '...and your babies are doing great.' Uh...

'Im sorry, what?' Of all the words to come out of my mouth...

'Ba..b...ies..?' Christians wide eyes meet my own before he meets the floor.


	42. Chapter 42

The one you have all been waiting for (Im assuming lol)

Chapter Forty-One: You + Me = ?

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CPOV

Ugh, my head! What the fuck happened? I open my eyes to a white..is that the fucking ceiling?!

'Ana?' I call for my wife.

'Im right here baby, are you okay?'

'Not really, I just had the weirdest dream ever. We went to the doctor and they said we were having babies...' I see her look over at my mom and they both have shit eating grins on their faces. 'Alright ladies, what's going on?'

'Well, the thing is Christian,' my mother begins before looking back at Ana. 'You weren't dreaming. I did an ultrasound on Ana to make sure everything was okay and we did, in fact, find out that she is pregnant. With babies, not baby.'

'Babies, as in more than one?'

My mother laughs at me, 'yes Christian, that usually means more than one. And in your case, it's three.'

'THREE?! How the fuck does that happen? I can do one, I can't do three. Oh god...' Three. I can't stop saying or thinking that number. Triple the puke. Triple the shit. Triplets...I thought we would only have one at a time, but Jesus fuck! I know I said I wanted children, but am I seriously ready for this? Not that I really have a choice anymore, obviously. Maybe that dream I had is coming true. 'Ana...'

'Yes, Christian?' She looks at me with a worried expression.

'Three? We are really going to be parents?' The more I think about it and say it out loud, the more it begins to grow on me and I have flashbacks of four pairs of eyes. In my dream, we had three girls but I never imagined they would be arriving all at once. And maybe it's wrong..maybe we will be having all boys or two of each and one of the other. Either way, they are going to be beautiful children, we will truly be blessed.

xxxxxx

APOV

After Christian had his little episode, Grace showed me my little babies. I was in complete shock and could feel my eyes well up with unshed happy tears. We were going to be parents. We were going to get to experience the one thing I never thought I could give my husband. Sure, I was thinking we would do it one at a time, but I will take whatever we are given. I'm looking forward to it all...the growing belly, feeling my children kick and move around inside me, the cravings...I may be one of those crazy people, but I'm even looking forward to being up all night with them because that means I get to stare.

And there is just something about a newborn baby's smell. So relaxing, comforting. When my cousin and his wife had their baby, I would hold him and just sniff. Of course, everyone laughed at me but I didn't care. As I start thinking about the happy memories that we have to look forward to, I'm instantly hit with the one thing I know we have to face.

'Grace, what about my...issue?'

She looks a little confused for a second before she collects herself. 'Hunny, I wouldn't worry yourself about that just yet. No stress what-so-ever, I don't care what my bullheaded son does, breathe. You are in charge of three other lives besides your own now and they come in a close first to you. You need to make sure you eat properly and don't over-exert yourself. Your lucking out having me as your mother-inlaw because you can come to me with any questions or concerns you may have. We will only face that issue if we have to, but don't ever think about it. I know it will be hard but that falls under the no stress category!

'Once you hit the twelve week mark and we get you back in for another appointment, we will do an ultrasound to check on babies and go from there. You might have to be on bed rest after you hit a certain point, but again, we will deal with it when the time comes. I'm very happy that you and Christian get to go through this, and I'm even more ecstatic that you are making me a grandmother to not one, but three babies that are going to be as perfect as their parents. I want to recommend waiting a couple more weeks before telling everyone else, but since you are pregnant with multiples, you will start to show pretty damn quick, so it's your call. I will print off some pictures for you while you get cleaned up and than I will meet you and Christian in the waiting room.' She gives me a kiss on the forehead before she leaves me and my husband to let the news sink in.

'Christian, are you really happy about this? I know we discussed children but this wasn't really part of that.'

The smile on his face grows as he looks from me to my flat - for now - belly. 'Anastasia, I may not have seemed happy when mom first told us there was more than one baby in here, but like her, I am ecstatic! We can do this baby, you will never be alone no matter what. If you wake up in the middle of the night with a craving, I will be the first one to go get whatever you and my babies desire. We are definitely in this for the long haul, my love. But I will say this. If you tell anyone, and I mean anyone! that I fainted, your ass is mine!'


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter Forty-Two: Fast-Forward

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_**12 weeks...**_

We've made it! We are so excited that we've made it this far, we are going to throw a reveal party. We listened to Graces advice and kept it between the three of us for the last 6 weeks and it has been super hard, but I've done it! It's been nice having someone other than my husband to talk to though, especially another woman who knows what the body goes through.

Baggy sweaters have been my new best friends. I even wore them at home until the one day I thought Gail was gone and walked out of my bedroom with my small belly hanging out. The look on her face was priceless and I doubled over in laughter. Lets just say, her and Taylor found out that day and were pissed that we didn't tell them, but they understood at the same time. Now, her and I are talking about what the house is going to be like when the kids arrive while we set up for the party. She went a little overboard but that's okay. She got balloons that say 'Surprise' and 'Congrats' on them, she is making a big chocolate cake for everyone to enjoy and we even got sparkling apple juice for moi.

Before I know it, Christian is calling to say everyone is showing up. The plan is for everyone to put blindfolds on since I will be standing in the middle of the room surrounded in pinks and blues. It's too early to know the sex of the babies, but we figured those colors were better than black and white.

As I hear the elevator chime, I take my position, waiting for everyone to walk in. I see Christian and Grace leading a group of..everyone. I can't believe it. I thought he was only bringing his dad, Elliott and Mia, but my family is standing amongst them. I'm so happy, I could try right now, but the sound of my husbands voice puts a stop to that.

"Now, I know you are all probably wondering what the hell is going on, so on the count off three, you can take the blindfolds off. 1...2...3..."

"Surprise!" We yell as everyone stands there shocked, staring at my belly.

"What...how...huh.." I hear my father say. I can't help but laugh at him all flustered. "Do you really want to know the how, daddy?" He just shakes his head.

"We are twelve weeks along...with triplets." Christian and I both have shit eating grins on our faces while everyone else has shocked, probably trying to digest what we just threw at them.

**_20 weeks..._**

Today is the day we find out the sexes of these little brats inside me. Lately they have been so active that I feel I'm constantly having to go to the bathroom. It's like they are fighting for dominance, show the others who is boss and who controls the womb. Ha! I'm the boss, I'm the one who calls the shots in this house!

"Listen here little ones, you need to just calm down before mommy loses her cool. You need to be nice for the good doctor so we can see your little parts and than we can name you."

"Ana, what are you doing?" I hear Christian say."

"I'm talking to your children. How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to know that they aren't going to listen to you. Here, let me try." He bends down in front of me, places his hands on my belly and leans in close. All three of them jumping and rolling at daddy's touch. "Listen here my angels, you need to give mommy a little bit of a break. We get to see you today and we need you to cooperate. After that, you can practice your karate moves all you want cuz daddy will be here to keep you company. I love you." With that, he places kisses on my belly and the babies are suddenly calm.

I look at him with tears in my eyes, "thank you. Your going to be an amazing father, Christian. I can't wait till we can pick out names."

He looks up at me with his bright smile, "thank you for this chance, your going to be an amazing mommy. Now, lets go before we are late."

xxxxx

I climb onto the table after being led into my doctors office. I feel myself getting more nervous an more anxious the longer we have to wait. Just as I'm about to ask Christian where the doctor is, she walks into the room. "Good afternoon Mr and Mrs Grey. How are we feeling?"

"Good, heavy and I look like a beached whale, but the morning sickness has stopped and I'm able to eat a little bit more food now, which is good. Keeps my husband happy." I look over at him as he shakes his head and chuckles.

"I'm happy to hear that. Now, if you could please lift up your shirt, we will have a look at your babies. You know the routine, the gel will be a little cold but it's only a couple seconds." I do ask I'm asked as flinch a little as she puts the gel on but as soon as the wand is on my belly and I see my three precious miracles on the screen beside me, I forget all about being uncomfortable.

"You sure have three healthy babies in there, Mrs Grey. They will probably be small when it comes time to deliver but that's normal for multiples. They all have ten fingers and ten toes, and from what I can see, baby A is...a little girl," I feel Christian squeeze my hand as the doctor continues. "Baby B, also a girl. It looks like baby C doesn't want to cooperate today, but we will get it, don't worry. Oh, there we go. Baby C is also a girl. Congratulations, three little princesses. I will let you get all cleaned up while I go print some pictures for you. Or would you prefer to have them on a disc?"

"Disc please!" Christian replies.

Girls! "Christian, did you have any names that you liked?"

"I have a couple, but what about you?"

"I have to think for a moment before I answer. "Preslee Rose, Haylee Ann and Aimee Marie."

"I love them. And I love you, my beautiful wife."

**_29 weeks..._**

"Ana? What's wrong? Why are you crying baby?"

I can't even control my breathing long enough to answer properly, "something's...wrong...babies."

"What do you mean something's wrong? Where are you? And where the fuck is Sawyer?"

I try to take deep breaths to calm myself, "he's calling an ambulance. I slipped on the bathroom floor. What if I killed our babies, Christian?"

"It will be okay, I promise! Just get to the hospital as fast as you can, I will meet you there and call mom on my way. It will be okay, Ana, I promise! I love you!"

"I love you too, Christian. Please hurry." I hang up the phone and just sob into my hands before Sawyer comes in telling me the ambulance is here. Even though I probably weigh the same as a elephant, he picks me up and carries me to the elevator. I don't remember what happens on the way down, I'm in my own little world. I can't believe I was so stupid! I was told to stay in bed, they told me that any harsh movement could jostle the babies. All I had to do was call Gail when I had to go to the bathroom, but me being me, I did it on my own. It probably wouldn't have been so bad if all the weight hasn't shifted to my one side causing me to trip. Christian is going to be so pissed off at me. I'm only 29 weeks, there's no way my babies can come into this world right now, we aren't ready. As much as I would love to meet my little girls, this isn't the way for it to happen.


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter Forty-Three: D-Day: Enter The Babies

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34 weeks...

I hate this fucking hospital. I hate this fucking bed. I'm even starting to hate my husband. Okay, maybe I'm not but he is getting on my nerves. I mean honestly, there's only so many times you can scream at people before they tell you to screw off. I'm not the one he's barking orders at and I'm ready to kill him.

All this stress is not good for me or the babies, and no matter how hard I try to keep calm, something always happens to irritate me. Like right now, the fact that I'm irritated stresses me out. I just want to meet my babies, I want to be able to look at them and see their beautiful faces, touch their soft pink skin, hold them to my chest and smother them in kisses. This is not fair! I hope to god the doctor says I can have these babies soon. Everything hurts. I don't think my stomach can stretch anymore than it already has. I have never cried this much in my life, but I don't know what else to do. As I'm sitting there feeling sorry for myself, yet again, my husband comes walking in the room, dragging the doctor not far behind him.

"Hello, Mrs Grey. I hear your not having a good day today. Are you uncomfortable? Feeling any pain?"

"Dr Rogers, I only have one thing to say and I'm sure you have heard this from every single expectant mother you've ever dealt with, and also, pardon my language but...please get these babies out of my fucking body please! I am in so much pain and I hate this bed and I hate this room and I'm starting to hate you. I want to be able to pee on my own, not have this fucking catheter shoved up my twat. I don't want any more needles, no more hospital food. Just no more, please." I know I'm practically begging, but I don't know what else to do. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see my husband trying to disguise his snickering with a cough. "Keep it up Grey and you will be sleeping on the couch for the next eighteen fucking years!" I scream at him.

"I'm sorry baby. I know your uncomfortable and dr Rogers is doing everything she can, right doctor?"

"Right! Now, since you have made it to 34 weeks, which is pretty far with triplets, I could do the c-section today. I know you've had a rough time since your fall, but as I told you than, your babies weren't harmed. Everything is going to be fine. Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to see if I can find us an operating room. If I can, than I will send a nurse in to prep you, okay?" I nod my head and feel a smile creep onto my face. Oh I hope this happens today, I silently pray as Christian and I both rub our hands on my humongous belly. "Soon there will be five of us, Christian. We are going to have our little princesses in no time, I just know it." My husband cuddles into me as much as he can and I fall asleep to the sound of his breathing.

xxxxxx

I'm suddenly awoken by a nurse calling my name. "Mrs Grey, we need to prep you for surgery. I didn't want to wake you, but you are going to be heading in shortly."

I start to panic as I look around the room and can't see Christian. "Where is..."

The nurse must sense my panic, "don't worry hunny, your man is down waiting for you. They sent him to get a gown on so he can sit with you while your babies are born. I just need to take some blood and than I will take you down where we will give you an epidural. Dr Rogers says you don't want anymore needles but I promise to be gentle okay? I just need you to focus on the fact that you get to meet these precious beings soon. And look at that, I'm all done. Now, lets get you into the chair and we will be on our way." I didn't even notice she had been taking my blood the whole time she was talking to me, but that's probably why she's the best. The whole trip down to the operating room she tells me about her children and how dr Rogers is the best of the best, I couldn't be in better hands. I see Christian before we head into the room. "I will be with you in a few minutes, baby. Your going to do great. I love you."

"I love you too Christian!"

Nurse Betty, as I learned was her name, wheels me into the room and helps me onto the bed where she helps prep me for the epidural, only standing in front of me talking to keep me distracted. I feel a slight pinch as they are sticking the needle in but than I feel nothing, nothing at all. Betty helps me to lie down as they put a blue sheet up and bring my husband in. He gives me a kiss on the forehead as he sits down beside me.

"Alright, Ana, your going to feel a little bit of pressure but it will be over before you know it." I heard the doctor say, and just like she said, I felt slight pressure and than it was gone, just like the epidural. All of a sudden the room is filled with beautiful little cries, "and baby A is out, she's a beautiful little girl. The nurses will get her all cleaned up and you can quickly say hello. Baby B is not far behind, and you have another beautiful girl! Now, lets see if baby C is as stubborn as always...oh, well...looks like I was wrong. Baby C is a boy!"

A boy?! We have a boy! I didn't even realize I was crying until Christian was wiping tears from my cheeks, and I looked up to see he had tears in his eyes as well. The nurses bring baby A over for us to see, "what are we going to name this one, Ana? She looks just like her mommy!"

"Preslee Rose." I say as he leans her down so I can give her a kiss. The nurse takes her away and gives us our other little girl, "Haylee Ann." And I do the same to her as I did her sister. Next up is my handsome little devil. "And you, my boy, are Hunter James." Before I know it, they are being taken to be checked over, but I'm promised I can see them again once I wake up. I hold my husbands hand as I'm getting stitched up, just keeping my focus on the man that has given me the best and most precious gift in the world. I eventually find myself falling into a peaceful sleep, dreaming of chasing my children in the meadow, playing hide and seek and getting smothered in their little kisses.

xxxxxxx

After waking from my nap and having the epidural wear off, I see my room surrounded in beautiful flowers and balloons. But what stood out the most is the three huge teddy bears in the corner, and I only have one guess as to who they are from. My suspicions prove to be correct when I hear Mads and Elliott enter the room. "Oh my gosh, Ana, your awake!" Mads screams as she runs and gives me a big hug, making sure there's no pressure on my stomach. "How are you feeling? Have you seen your babies yet? Christian took us down there and even though we weren't allowed in the NICU, I noticed how beautiful they are! So two girls and a boy, hey? I thought you were having all girls. Oh gosh, I'm talking too much again aren't I?"

I laugh at my hair brain friend. "Yes, little Hunter was quite a shock, but I couldn't be happier. I'm glad they didn't put me out for the c-section so I got to meet my angels when they came out. Preslee is the biggest, she weighed 4.6, so they don't think she will be in for very long, but they figure that Haylee and Hunter will be here for a few weeks. It breaks my heart, but I will be here every day to visit with them. They were both 3.8. I haven't seen them yet but..."

"And that's why I'm here, my sweet Ana. Lets go see my grand babies." I hear Grace say from the door as she starts to bring in a wheelchair for me. I scrunch my nose in disgust. "I know what your probably thinking, but for this, you have no choice. Besides, I would rather not be the one to allow you to walk down the hall after just having major surgery."

As much as I would rather walk, I know my mother inlaw is right. "Okay, lets go see my babies." I say after I have Elliott help me into the chair. It's then, that I really notice someone major is missing. "Where's Christian? I thought he would have stayed?"

"He just went home to shower and get cleaned up, and to bring some stuff for you, sweetie. Don't worry, he will be back soon. And besides, I basically kicked him out. He was starting to smell." We all laugh as I'm being rolled down the hall. As we make our way to the NICU doors, I start to get anxious. "Now Ana, you won't be able to hold them since they are so small and their skin is so light, but you are allowed to put your hand in and touch their tiny ones. Hunter is having a bit of breathing troubles and Haylee doesn't seem to want to eat but they are in great hands, you have nothing to worry about. I will leave you alone so you can have a moment with them, but if you need me, just wave at the window or if I'm not there, get the nurse to page me, okay?" I'm not able to take my eyes off the three small humans in front of me, but I nod my head to show I was listening than mumble, "thank you, Grace. For everything." She gives my shoulder a soft squeeze before she exits the room, and I am finally alone to talk to them.

"My babies. My beautiful, beautiful babies. Mommy loves you so much Preslee, Haylee & Hunter. You three are going to be so spoiled, your not going to know what to do with yourselves. Now, I know that your life has just begun a few hours ago, but one thing you need to know is that mommy and daddy will always be here for you no matter what. And even though we can't hold you right now, it doesn't change how we feel. Now, Preslee, you need to be strong for your brother and sister. Your the oldest so it's your responsibility to make sure they never get in trouble. Haylee, your a spitting image of your daddy so I need you to be the brains. Your going to be my little scholar, taking the world by storm.

My little unexpected angel, Hunter. Since you, too, are a spitting image of your father, you need to not be so stubborn and get better. We need you to get big and strong so we can take you home where you belong. I know you can do it, I have faith. I love you three so, so much. I don't want to leave you, but I know I have to. And mommy is tired, but I promise I will be back later and if your lucky, I might just bring your daddy with me. Sweet dreams." After I place kisses on their incubator, I get Grace to wheel me back to my room. My heart is breaking that I can't hold them or take them home, but I know this is for the best. We were also told this is what was going to be happening. There was nothing necessarily wrong with them, they were just too tiny. Even though my pregnancy had its ups and downs, my children are here now, and the road ahead is bright and colorful. Preslee, Haylee and Hunter have completed our little family and we couldn't be happier.


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter Forty-Four: What Kind Of Love This Ones Gonna Be

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**Well there's a love a mother feels  
When she hears her baby crying in need  
It's a love you can't deny  
And there's a love you hate to go through  
When you gotta say goodbye, I will it  
It makes a grown man cry  
You're holding my heart, I'm head over heels  
I know what I want and how it should feel**

xxxxxx

CPOV

I've been standing at the window to the NICU for the last half hour, just staring at my beautiful children. I'm so thankful to Ana for giving me this amazing gift. Hard to believe its already been a couple weeks and they told us that we can take Preslee home. I know it bothers Ana that we can't bring the other two home with us at the same time, it bothers me too, but this is the best place for them.

"Mr Grey, do you want to come hold your daughter?" I'm interrupted from my thoughts by one of the nurses that are watching over my babies. I feel a big smile on my face and answer with an enthusiastic nod since I can't seem to find my words. As she leads me into the room, I walk to the sink and wash my hands, listening to her go over the precautions. "Since Preslee is the strongest of the three, and I hear you can take her home with you this afternoon, you don't need to be as careful with her as you do Haylee and Hunter. Have you ever held a baby before?" I shake my head no. "Okay, no worries. Just come and sit in the rocking chair, open your shirt and I will bring your daughter to you." I do as I'm told, and must have a confused look on my face as I'm unbuttoning my shirt when the nurse comes back. "It's supposed to help the bond, Mr Grey. You can place Preslee on your chest and the warmth from you will keep her warm, as well as your heartbeat calming her. I will let you have some time alone with her but if you need me for anything, don't hesitate to call for me." With a soft smile, she walks away leaving me alone with my beautiful child.

**_Preslee_**

"Preslee Rose, I'm sure you already know this, but, I'm your daddy. You are such a blessing to this family and you couldn't have come at a better time. Me and your mommy are going to love you, your brother and your sister unconditionally, no matter which path life leads you down. I have made my fair share of mistakes, wrong decisions. But meeting and marrying your mommy was probably the best I have ever done. I have always wanted children, and I will admit this to you only so it's our little secret, but when your mommy told me she was pregnant, as happy as I was, I was a little scared too. But now that your here and I can hold you in my arms, that fear just disappears. I look at your face and see how much you look like your mommy, I inhale your sweet little baby scent, count all your fingers and toes. I wish you could stay this small forever, but look forward to you growing up at the same time. I can't wait to teach you everything you need to know, like driving. All three of you will be better drivers than your mother, that's one of my promises to you. Of course, she will disagree with me but that's okay.

That's another thing you and I need to talk about, Angel. Since you are the oldest, it's your job to watch over the other two. But, that being said, you also need to pick and choose your battles because some aren't worth the fight that it's going to cause. You come from a big family, but remember that your siblings are always going to be there for you. You have an older cousin, but not by much. Her name is Aubrey and she just turned one. Your uncle Chase is going to love you when he gets a chance to meet you guys." I look up to see the nurse pointing to her watch. "Well, angel, it's time for daddy to go now. I need to say goodbye to your brother and sister but mommy and I will be back in a little bit to break you out of this place. Than you and I can have all the chats in the world." I give her a kiss on her forehead before the nurse takes her from me and I make my way to Haylee.

**_Haylee_**

"Haylee Ann, I can see your going to be the troublemaker already. You can't keep being stubborn like this if you want to come home, you need to eat. I know you probably want mommy, but she can't help you baby girl, and you need to listen to the nurses when they say its dinner time." She gives me a little grunt, and I hope it was her agreeing with me. Ana was right, she is just like me in the stubborn department. Ugh, I really don't want to deal with her when she is sixteen.

I sit here and stare at my two smallest children, enjoying how much they have grown in the couple weeks they have been here. Unfortunately, since Haylee still fights eating, they say she will need to stay for another week or two, and that breaks my heart. All we want is our children at home with us. I put my hand in the incubator and my beautiful little girl grips onto my finger like she's never going to see me again. "I love you baby girl, and I will be back, I promise. I'm going to go talk to your brother now before we have to leave, but mommy and I will be back tomorrow. I love you." I pull my hand out and place a kiss on my fingers before placing it back in her grasp. I can hear her let out a little whimper, all I want to do is grab her in my arms, but I know I'm not allowed.

**_Hunter_**

Staring at my handsome little man, I can't help but look forward to the future, having my own mini me. I can see us standing on the dock with our fishing lines in the water, talking about girls. Teaching him how to drive and possibly buying him his first car. I haven't quite decided on that yet, might make him earn it on his own like we had to. Either way, I have someone who will look up to me, and not just as his dad like it will be with the girls. But, I hope he looks up to me as his role model, his friend, his champion.

"Hey little man. I'm so glad you're doing better, but we need you to get stronger so we can bring you and your sister home. You're my strong Grey, you're going to be the one that keeps this family together, I just know it. Your also going to be the one that keeps me sane while living in a house with three females. I can see it now. Us standing there waiting for them to get ready only to show up an hour late." I let out a chuckle. "Oh, and when the girls want to date, your my backup. Don't let them date any of your friends, just like I won't let you date any of their friends, are we clear little man?" He lets out a grunt like his sister did. "Your a good kid, Hunter. Now just get stronger so you can come home and we can be a complete family. I have to go get your mommy now little dude, but we will be back tomorrow, I promise. I love you and your sisters so very much."

I thank the nurses in the NICU as I make my way out to get my wife. Taylor had texted me saying she was on her way, so I was quite surprised to see her standing in front of the windows when I stepped out of the room. "Hey baby, what are you doing here? I was just about to meet you up front."

She gives me a smile and than I see her eyes glistening with I shed tears, "I decided to come early because I wanted to see Haylee and Hunter before we took Preslee home and I brought them gifts. But after seeing you sitting there talking to our children, I couldn't bring myself to move. Christian, don't get me wrong, I can't wait to take Pres home, but it doesn't seem fair that we can't take all three at the same time. I feel like a horrible mother. I don't even want to go in and see them because I can't bring myself to say goodbye. God, I hate myself right now."

"Oh baby, it's okay," I tell her as I bring her head to my shoulder. "You are not a bad mother, Ana. You are doing everything you can and like Dr Rogers told you, everything your feeling is normal for a parent that has multiples in here. At least we get to bring one of our babies home today, and than if the other two smarten up, we can bring them home soon. Look at me, Ana," I say, "we are going to go in there, you are going to say hello to Hayls and Hunter and than we are going to snap Preslee into her seat and we are going to go home. No tears, no beating yourself up. All we are going to do is snuggle with our daughter when we get home and enjoy every moment. Promise me."

"I promise." I see her forced smile before she opens the door to see our babies. I have to keep telling myself that things will get easier, once we can break them free my wife will be happy. Right?

**Songs:**

**What Kind Of Love - Dallas Smith  
Daughters - John Mayer  
Anything Like Me - Brad Paisley**


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter Forty-Five: Never Gonna Be Alone

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**You're never gonna be alone  
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,  
I won't let you fall.  
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.  
We're gonna see the world out,  
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone**.

xxxxxx

CPOV

As I watch Ana say goodbye to the babies, I can't help but feel like something is really wrong with her. She never used to be like this and now she just seems so..empty. Even as the nurse goes over everything and we strap Pres into her carseat, Ana doesn't say a word, not even a whimper. I put my arm around her waist and carry Preslee with my other hand as we make our way out of the hospital, and I'm so thankful Taylor cleared the exit for us so we wouldn't have any paps in our faces. The ride to the house is quiet, but I can't bring myself to say anything. What exactly do I say in this situation? I don't want to say the wrong thing and push her farther away than she already is. I can't just talk to my mother because than Ana will think I talk to others about our marriage. Fuck, even my own thoughts are jumbled.

As soon as we pull up the driveway, my wife makes a quick exit from the vehicle and runs into the house. I figure I will just leave her alone for a little bit, give her time to get her thoughts in order before we talk. I decide that it's the only way I will get answers, force her to talk to me. As I bring my daughter in the house, I take her from room to room giving her the grand tour before finally stopping at what will be her room with her siblings. We decided on greys for the colour, ironic I know, but it fit so well with the white from the cribs. Ana decided she wanted one wall to be the accent wall but instead of painting it a solid colour, she had them paint pink, blue and purple squares all over it. We never did talk about how we are going to dress the girls so we can tell them apart but we also didn't know that Preslee would have blue eyes like mommy and Hayls would have gray eyes like me.

Just as I'm putting Preslees carseat down, she starts to whimper and I can tell she is hungry so I unbuckle and lift her out of the seat so I can change her than go downstairs for a bottle. They wanted Ana to breast feed but she was too overwhelmed so while the babies were in the NICU, the nurses just have them bottles instead of forcing mama. While I change Pres' diaper and put her in a new sleeper, I talk to her and tell her all about her family. I know she doesn't understand me but I want her to know my voice.

The rest of the night goes by quickly and quietly. I never saw or heard from Ana, which is upsetting but I can't force her at the same time. I just want her to realize that she can't shut me or the kids out every time she's feeling down and out. I am here for a reason. I am her husband, friend and father of her children. We are in this together for the long haul. I'm not going to just up and leave because something doesn't go my way. Ana, Preslee, Haylee and Hunter are my life now and I could not imagine being anywhere else. Before I realize it, it's time to head to bed. Since I'm not comfortable with leaving Pres by herself, I bring her into our room to sleep with us only to see a sleeping Ana. Trying not to disturb her, I carefully lay our daughter down and change before climbing into bed myself. I lay there staring at my sleeping girls for I don't know how long before the darkness finally takes over.

It feels like I had just fallen asleep when I'm woken up from the bed moving beneath me. I open my eyes to check on Preslee and see she is still asleep, but Ana is getting up, trying to be quiet. I watch her as she walks away, I can't help but wonder what's going through her mind and I feel helpless. I know the doctor told me to be gentle with her but I don't know how much more I can take. She won't even talk to me, she barely sees her daughter and that's what is bothering me the most. I wait a few more minutes, just watching her, before I get up and decide to go to her.

APOV

I don't know what's woken me up, but I find myself standing outside on the balcony as the rain is pouring down. It seems lately I don't know up from down, wrong from right. I move like a robot only doing things I know I need to do. I find myself asking the same questions: am I a good mother? If I am, than why aren't all my babies home with me? Have I done something wrong? My husband is going to fall out of love with me and end up leaving, they always do.

I turn my head up to stare at the moon, rain hitting me in the face and hiding my tears as they fall. Suddenly, I feel his arms wrapped around me, "come back to bed, baby. It's pissing down rain, we don't want you to get sick."

"Christian...why do you love me?"

He spins me around to face him and I see the anger and hurt on his face. "How can you ask me that, Anastasia? I love you for many reasons, the main one being because you love me. You are beautiful, amazing, friendly, loving, caring. You are a fantastic wife and an amazing mother. I know it's hard that Haylee and Hunter aren't here right now but you have Preslee inside and she needs you. She needs her mother to acknowledge her, she wants to know she is loved and wanted as well. I have given you your space, time, and whatever else you needed but Ana, you need to snap out of whatever state your in. You are the only one who thinks your not worthy, your the only one who is pushing everyone away when all we want to do is help. Everyone loves you, especially me and the children, but we can't force you to see that. Maybe I should be making you an appointment with a therapist so you can talk about whatever your feeling and just get it out without the thought of being judged." I nod my head at his last statement, and surprisingly, the years have stopped.

"I'm sorry, Christian. I just don't know how to deal with all...this," I say throwing my arm around the room. "It's one thing to become a mother but when I can't even hold my own babies? When I can't bring them home with me? How do you think that makes me feel? I feel useless, like I'm not even needed. They wouldn't know the difference between me or a nurse or our mothers. I just want to feel like I'm needed for once..."

"Anastasia Rose Grey! I honestly never want to hear those words come out of your mouth ever again. Of course OUR children will be able to tell the difference between you and someone else, you are their mother despite what you may be thinking right now. I'm going to only say this once so you better listen. You do have a child at home with you right now and you can hold her. Her name is Preslee and she is a spitting image of you, my dear crazy wife. This isn't you. The Ana that I know wouldn't have walked away and left her child today. That's what you did and I get that I was with her, but seeing how easy it was for you to do that, it scared the crap out of me. I need you to look at her, I need you to register that she's HERE and she's REAL. Haylee and Hunter are coming home soon but until that time, you need to snap out of this and you need to take care of the child that we do have in our home. I love you, Anastasia, don't ever EVER doubt that. But right now, I come second to that little girl that is inside crying for her mommy." He places a kiss on my forehead before turning me in the direction of our bedroom.

I don't know what happened before but it's almost like I never heard her. I never registered her cries for me, her little grunts and whimpers telling me that she needs me. As I walk, all I see is her. My beautiful little girl laying in the middle of the bed calling for me, and as I get closer and crawl onto the bed, she seems to calm down. I bring her closer to me and as I inhale her scent, I almost forget about the outside world until I feel my husband slide up behind me, wrapping both of us up in his arms before we all fall asleep. All that matters right now is right here. The rest of the world will be there tomorrow.


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter Forty-Six: Finally, A Family.

xxxxxx

APOV

Waking up wrapped in my husbands arms and our baby girl pressed lightly to my chest, I realize I had the best sleep I've had in a while. After I finally got back to bed of course. I still can't remember what woke me but I'd also rather not remember. I lay there for a little while longer watching Pres before she starts to stir, crying ever so lightly for what hoping is food. I unclasp my bra and bring her to my breasts in hopes that she will latch on and feed. I'm not expecting to still have milk but all the things I have read said that breast feeding is one of the most amazing things to share with your newborn baby, it makes the bond stronger. I figure if I can get used to feeding one, than by the time we bring Haylee and Hunter home, I will be able to feed two at a time and still have enough to pump for the third.

Preslee seems to have the hang of latching on, and before I know it, I can feel my milk let down and she is sucking with propose. I have a huge grin plastered to my face as I hear my husbands sleepy but sexy voice. "I can hear her sucking all the way back here. She must've been hungry."

I can't help the chuckle that escapes, "I wasn't sure if she would actually feed from me but she's a natural. This makes me so happy, Christian. The fact that I'm able to do something for our children, I'm able to produce food for them, it makes me feel like I am needed and that's a good feeling. I know you told me I am, but to have Preslee attached me to me right now, I never want her to let go."

"Just you wait till we get the other two attached to you, you might change your tone." I look over just as he shoots me a wink, and I smack his arm.

"Jerk."

He rolls over and starts laughing, "I can be baby, but you love me just the same."

I roll back over to face Preslee again just as my husbands phone rings. I'm too wrapped up in enjoying this moment to listen to his conversation, but as soon as he hangs up and looks at me with a shit eating grin plastered on his gorgeous face, I know it has to be good news.

"They get to come home, Ana! The doctor said that they did wonderfully last night, they've never seen anything like it. She said that Haylee ate basically every single bottle they gave her which is a big step up from how she was eating before. And Hunter. Well, lets just say that he's breathing on his own now. They were all so surprised this morning that they couldn't wait to tell us the news. I'm guessing its probably because they want to come home."

"When can we go get them? I want my babies home, Christian. Lets complete this family."

"As soon as Angel is done eating than we will get ready and go. I will get everything put into the SUV so all you have to worry about is the two of you." He kisses me with so much passion that I'm cursing the fact we can't have sex for the next two weeks. Two. Long. Excruciating. Weeks. Lord fucking help me!

As soon as Miss Pres is done eating, it's like I'm moving in fast forward, rushing to get her burped, diaper changed, clean clothes and than dressing and making myself look decent. I'm too excited to care what I look like at this point, I want my babies. My babies get to come home. I prayed last night that the man upstairs would grant this for me, and even though I don't truly believe in that stuff, it's like there actually is someone up there listening. I look up, close my eyes and mouth thank you to whoever it may be, and as crazy as I may appear, I just don't care. My wish came true.

xxxxxx

Still feeling like everything is in fast forward, the drive to the hospital goes by in a blur. I'm sitting in the back beside Preslee, just watching her sleep. That is one thing I will never tire of, babies always look so peaceful and beautiful. Unaffected by the things that life can throw at you, no clue as to what really happens in the real world. I mean, I'm sure we all look like that when we are sleeping, but there's just something about watching a baby.

"We're here, Ana." I look up to see my husbands handsome face. "What were you thinking about?" he questions.

"Oh nothing, just how beautiful she is and how peaceful she looks while asleep. I hope our kids will always be like this and we won't have trouble makers on our hands."

He smiles, "Unfortunately, love, we don't really have a say in how our children are going to act. All we can do is hope and pray that we raise them right." I nod my head in agreement and he grabs Pres' carseat and we make our way inside.

I feel myself getting giddy as we get closer and closer to the NICU, I practically run there leaving Christian and Preslee in a cloud of dust and I almost run straight into Dr Rogers.

"Oh, hello Mrs Grey. I didn't expect to see you guys so early, I told your husband it wasn't a hurry."

"I know, but I couldn't wait to get here. I'm excited to bring them home. I was all worked up about having to wait another week but I'm super excited now. Hard to believe its been four weeks already. I was very happy to hear how well they did last night."

"Yes, they did extremely well. It's almost like they knew they wouldn't have their parents or little sister here as much as the did before and they wanted to change that. Of course, you are still going to have to bring them in for check ups and what not, but I see now reason that they have to stay here. Especially when I know that your mother inlaw is a doctor and will come over day or night, no matter the time." She gives me a warm smile before continuing. "So, just a few things to go over before you can strap them in and steal probably the best babies we have ever had in here. Two things you have to watch out for is their breathing and when they eat. Make sure that they don't have anything blocking their nose, especially your breast if you are going to try when you get home. When they eat, they breathe through their noses and we don't want anything stopping that.

When they feed, make sure you burp them every few minutes. We want to make sure they aren't inhaling too much air, but other than that, you should be okay. Another thing I wanted to talk to you about was supplementing. Because you have three babies, you might not produce enough milk to feed all three so a little bit of formula here and there won't hurt them and it might help them gain weight a bit faster, which again, isn't a bad thing. Do you have any questions?"

I shake my head no as well as my husband. "We just want to get them home, Dr Rogers. I hope you don't mind, I don't want to come across as rude."

"Not at all, Ana. We will get everything ready for you while you get them strapped into the seats, than we can check them and send you on your way." I watch her walk away before I go over to grab Hayls and Christian grabs Hunter.

"Hi sweetheart! Are you excited to come home with mommy and daddy? We are sure excited, we have your room ready but I don't think you will be sleeping in it much right now. Oh gosh, baby girl, mommy loves you so very very much!" I give her kisses all over her sweet baby face before placing her in her seat so we can leave. It feels like forever before the doctor comes back with a nurse to go over and make sure we have the children in the seats properly, but before I can count 3-Mississippi's, she is ushering us out of the room with well wishes and to call if we need anything at all. I grab her in a hug and say thank you before we walk away. Hopefully this is the last time we will need to be in that room, even though they did save my children's lives.

xxxxxx

Im glad Christian decided to bring Taylor to drive for us since I'm pushed into the back of the SUV with Preslee and Hunter while Christian is in the middle with Haylee. I think he is going to be wrapped around her little fingers more than he already is. I know he adores all of them, but he also seems drawn to Hayls, and I don't see anything wrong with that. I am glad that we had Hunter though, it gives them a reason to break out of the house for some 'man-time'. I laugh to myself at that thought.

We pull into the driveway and I let out a sigh of relief that we are finally home, but thats when I notice all three are asleep. I hope we can move them without disturbing the peace. Taylor and Christian grab the carseats out of the vehicle and move them into the house where I get Christian to help me place all three sleeping children into the playpen before he ushers me over to the couch.

"I have to run out for a bit, babe, but I will be back before you know it. Since the babies are resting, you should too. Take advantage of it." I don't even question him because I'm so tired, and as soon as I lay down, he comes over and wraps a blanket around me before he leaves.

I'm awaken suddenly by the sound of the front door open. I'm so disoriented from napping that I barely register who's coming in before I see my husband standing infront of me. As he makes a move to come closer, I see his arm wrapped in a bandage and instantly start to panic.

"Christian! What the... What the hell did you do to your arm?"

I see him look down, "Oh, this? I got a tattoo."

"You got...a tattoo? Do I even want to know of what?"

He takes off the gauze that's covering his "artwork" and I'm amazed at what I see. Three stars on his forearm, each one marked with initials; P,H,H. "Oh baby...I love it!"

"I knew you would. I know I will never forget them, but at the same time I wanted something that will always be a reminder."

Just then, I hear little cries over the monitor and I hear myself sigh, "I will go..."

"No!" Christian interrupts me. "You, my beautiful wife, are going to have a shower while I go and deal with our children. Go enjoy the silence than come find us when your done." He leaves me with a chaste kiss before pushing me towards the bathroom. I can't help but shake my head and laugh as I turn and watch him walk away.

xxxxxx

As I step out of the shower and start drying off, I can hear sounds coming from the baby monitor. "Your mommy and I are so blessed to have the three of you." I hear Christian say and it brings a smile to my face. I am lucky to have been able to give him our children, but Christian himself is like a gift from above. If I didn't have him in my life, I don't know where I would have ended up. He's shown me the true meaning of love and forgiveness. He's taught me that no matter what happens, he will always be by my side. Sure, there are times that I think we got married too soon but when you know, you know. From the first moment I saw him, I had no chance. I was lost in his eyes. Those beautiful eyes that now two of my children have as well. Christian is the other half of my soul, I don't even think I was fully living until he entered my life.

I'm pulled from my thoughts as I realize I should probably finish getting ready so I head to the closet and pull out a pair of my favourite yoga pants along with a comfy sweatshirt, throwing my hair up in a messy bun before I walk out of the bedroom. I'm making my way down the hall as quickly and as quietly as I can so I don't disturb anyone, also so I can hopefully sneak up on my little family. As I finally reach the end of the hall and open the door to the babies nursery, I see my husband laying on the floor with Preslee, Haylee and Hunter all laying on his bare chest. It's such an amazing sight that I can't help but grab my cell phone out of my back pocket to snap a picture and I definitely don't stop the tear that escaped from my eyes. This is another form of true love and I'm glad we get to experience it. A parents love for their child is something that can never be replaced or broken, and what I'm looking at is living proof.


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter Forty-Seven: Never Grow Up (Epilogue)

xxxxxx

**Your little hand's wrapped around my finger  
And it's so quiet in the world tonight  
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming  
So I tuck you in, turn on your favourite night light  
To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret  
I'd give all I have, honey  
If you could stay like that**

xxxxxx

"Ana! Come here...and bring the camera!" I hear my husband yell from upstairs, this cannot be good. I grab the camera from the living room and go racing up the stairs to find my little family in the main bathroom.

"Christian Trevelyan Grey, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"You asked me to bath the kids, so I am..."

"But...I...you...oh my god!" I can't believe the sight before me. "Where are the kids?"

"They are there...somewhere. Too much bubbles?" he asks with an innocent smile.

I let out a frustrated groan as I throw up my hands and walk away. Daddy is officially fired..too much bubbles. Pfft, you wouldn't have to ask if you knew the answer. Jack-ass. I can't even seem to form a coherent thought or speak a word right now, I'm so shocked at what is going on in my house. Seriously, how hard is it to bath three one year olds?!

"Mrs Grey, we're home." I'm woken from my dream by Ryan, and I can tell he feels bad but I offer him a soft smile so he knows he's forgiven.

I guess you can't really call that a dream. More of a memory that replays in your mind. Over the last three years, things have been hectic but I haven't missed a single moment. Neither has Christian, actually. We decided that I wouldn't need to work at all, not that I really did before anyways but now I had a reason to stay home. Three perfect reasons to be exact. My husband stays home most days, working from his home office choosing to spend more time with us, and if he does have to go into work he always makes sure he is home by supper.

As I exit the car, I stand in front of our beautiful country house and I can't help but be amazed at the beauty of it all. The pillars by the front door, the colored rocks that cover the walls. Each window has white shutters that add character, and there's big vines going up either side. Christian followed my dream exactly, making sure not a single detail was missed. Walking around to the side of the house, I walk into our backyard, but it's not that that stops me in my tracks. I see my beautiful man running around chasing our three little rascals. Just as I try to blend into the shadows, Hunter spots me and starts running. "Mommy! Mommy, your home!"

I smile at him as I scoop him into my arms, "I sure am my handsome little man! Were you good for daddy today?" He nods his head. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him walking towards me. I turn to look and even after five years, he still does something to me that makes me want to fall to my knees and worship the ground he walks on.

"Good afternoon, mrs Grey. We sure missed you this afternoon." he says as he kisses my lips. "How did your appointment go?"

Now it's my turn to get nervous. "It, uh, went good. Surprising, but good."

He narrows his eyes and tilts his head to the side, trying to understand what I meant. I just mouth later to him and he nods his head, scooping up the girls and heading inside to get cleaned up for dinner.

xxxxxx

Dinner was a huge success tonight. And by success, I mean very minimal food was thrown on the floor. Haylee even ate her chicken, which is definitely rare for her. Pres on the other hand, is our good eater, clearing her plate and even asking for seconds making daddy smile. Hunter is the clown, but Christian doesn't help in that department since he's usually the one showing his boy how to get things passed mommy. I just shake my head and giggle, humouring them both by pretending I don't know what they are doing.

After the messes are all cleaned up, it's time to tuck our little angels into bed. It is honestly my favourite time of the day. Not because I get silence, not because fed up and done, but because all five of us crawl into one bed and have story time. I'm glad we switched them to double beds instead of keeping them in singles. After we took them out of their cribs, some nights they would end up in one bed and we were afraid of them falling out. So now, they have the room if they want to share a bed and it gives us room to cuddle as well even though Christian has Preslee and Hunter on his lap while Haylee sits on mine.

Tonight, the children voted for daddy to read the story, so I sit here and think about how our lives have changed as we listen Love You Forever by Robert Munsch. When I had the triplets, everyone commented on how much Preslee looked like me, and as true as that may be, her attitude is her father. He adores all three of his children but loves the fact that at least one of his daughters wants to partake in some "boy" activities. Haylee is me, even though she's one of Christians clones. She loves to read, have her hair, makeup and nails done, plus, she's already a shopping addict thanks to me and her auntie Mads. I don't think my husband was too impressed that his little girl was wearing designer brands at such a young age but than he was reminded that they even need to look their best. I probably went a little overboard when I bought the girls light grey and pink Coach backpacks, though. Oops! I smile to myself as I recall that memory and the almost fight we had because of it. It never lasted long because even he had to admit they suited the girls and he would do anything for them.

Hunter is so easy going that he could care less. One thing I'm not really looking forward to, though, is the fact that at three years old he seems to be way too interested in skateboards and motorbikes. I've given strict orders to both Christian and Elliott that if I catch my son on a death trap like that, I will castrate both or else hang them by their balls till they fall off. That shut them up until Elliott made a smart ass comment, "she never said anything about dad bro!" causing them both to break out in laughter and evil smiles.

"Just because I can't tell your parents or my parents no, doesn't mean that you get to use them whenever you're told you can do something. My brothers are going to get the exact same talking to so don't think they get special treatment. Now, smarten the fuck up and go play with your kids."

They haven't said anything since and I think I finally got through to them. Before I can finish anymore thoughts, Christian brings the story to an end and I look down to see three children so we tuck them into bed, give them kisses and turn off the lift before we sneak out if the room quietly.

"You were awfully quiet in there Anastasia. Are you okay?" My handsome husband asks with concern in his eyes.

I look up at him lovingly. "Yes, of course I'm fine, babe. Just thinking about how much I love you and our kids and I'm so blessed that we have such a big family."

"We definitely do have a big one, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Our little family means the world to me, Ana, thank you for giving me this amazing gift." I can hear the thickness of his voice, tears threatening to fall. I place my hand on his cheek and as he leans in, I tell him my news.

"How would you feel about expanding by one?" I whisper and his eyes fly open.

"You're...you...oh...really?!" I break out in a smile so big I think my face is going to crack. Christian looks shocked at first until I see the light shine in his eyes and he lifts me into his arms and twirls me around the hallway.

"Oh Ana! You're sure, right? This isn't a test? This is one-hundred-percent certain?" he asks and I just nod my head to tell him it's real. "I am so happy right now. How about we go celebrate?" He mutters as he carries me to our bedroom, covering me in little kisses. "I love you so much, Anastasia Rose Grey. You have made me the richest man in the world, first by agreeing to be my wife and than by giving me those three beautiful children and the newest intruder we have here," as he pats my belly. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am never letting go. You are mine forever, until we are old and gray and even then I might find some way to look into those crystal blue eyes always."

I'm so choked up, full emotion and tears that I don't know what to say. I pull his lips down to mine, bringing him in for a slow sensual kiss; one full of meaning, love, excitement. This is a kiss that he will remember for the rest of his life, every time he thinks of me. As I pull away, I look deep into his eyes and feel the love radiating between us.

"Before I met you, I thought I was destined to be alone. I didn't think I deserved to be loved but than I met you and you threw me off balance. You showed me that even though I was hurt in the past, that doesn't define who I'm going to be. You showed me that I wasn't the only one who was hurt, lost and confused and you helped me put my heart back together. You are my everything, Christian. My heart, my soul, my life. I couldn't imagine being without you, ever, so I won't let anything break us apart. I love you Christian Trevelyan Grey, always and forever."

Forever & Ever 3

xxxxx

**_Okay, so, I know some of you are probably thinking...WTF..but if your on Facebook, you've seen that I've had ZERO motivation to continue this. I may end up doing something else with this story some time down the road but up until that point, I don't know. I have two other stories I want to try and finish so we will see where I can take those._**

**_Thank you so very very much to every single one of you for the reviews, follows and favourites. It means so much to me and I appreciate every single one of you lovely people. Thank you for joining me on this journey, even if there was a couple hiccups along the way. I do apologize if this chapter is kinda...blah...I'm almost thinking I should've just ended it the last chapter but I couldn't do that to you guys._**

**_Again, thank you thank you thank you!_**

**_Much love Jac xox_**


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